4 Steps To Authoritative Parenting by BYU Professor Julie Haupt

  1. Discipline with love
    1. Keep a cool head
    2. Correctly assess the situation
    3. Look for ways to teach (if safety is not an immediate concern)
    4. Administer the mildest form of discipline that will work
    5. Show forth increased love (see D&C 121:41-45)
  2. Individualize the approach
    1. To treat you fairly I must treat you differently
    2. Study the children’s varying temperaments and dispositions and act accordingly
    3. Vary consequences by need, age, situation, and personality (not consistent!)
    4. Avoid one-size-fits-all style of discipline
  3. Incorporate coregulation
    1. Childrearing is easier when good practices were established early
    2. At school age, establish pattern of coregulation (parental oversight, children take charge of moment-by-moment
    3. Role for parents: effectively communicate expectations
    4. Role for child/teen: keep parents informed
  4. Encourage teen autonomy
    1. Warm, supportive teen-parent ties matter
    2. Permit teens to explore ideas and social roles
    3. Recognize that puberty triggers psychological distancing
    4. Quality of teen-parent relationship is the single most reliable predictor of teen mental health (see p579 of Child Development by Laura Berk)


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