Issues with the Marxist “EmPOWERment Trauma Informed” Model of Parenting
Too much bad parenting today is passed off by fake ideologies which skew the nature of life. Parents can be happy and effective as they employ true principles in their leadership.
I’ll now respond to some statements commonly advocated with these methods, which are correct in some form, but grossly lack the needed authority based tools to effectively parent.
Claim: “Consequences don’t change behavior, relationships and skills do.”
Reality: Consequences build proper relationships & real life skills.
Claim: “Trauma decreases capacity to change.”
Reality: We all have hardship, we are all expected to be responsible and contribute to society. In Christ we can overcome all things, all weaknesses can be made strong in humble Christian obedience to God. Victim mentality is what decreases capacity to change.
Claim: “Kids’ brains can’t process consequences so consequences don’t influence their behavior. Their brain doesn’t have the capacity.”
Reality: Consequences are how humans learn at all ages. All brains are sufficient for this training, even toddlers, and even traumatized children.
Claim: “Compliance and change are not the same thing.”
Reality: Most people need the structure of compliance to learn change via proper habit building via methods which push against the natural-man tendency to be idol.
Claim: “When you seek compliance you aren’t motivated by student (long term self-willed) change.”
Response: Requiring compliance can be motivated by a calculated desire to create good long term change for a person. It’s permissiveness and poor boundaries that fail to build a healthy lifelong foundation.
Claim: “It’s about the relationship, then the kids will respond better.”
Reality: And what about when they don’t? The disposition of each child is different. Proper relationships include boundaries. Yes we are positive, but our spoken boundaries are meaningful based on our commitment to consistently enforce them. Good cops carry guns in the hopes that they won’t have to use them, but with the message and willingness that they will do what it takes to keep the peace.
Claim: “Relationship is the most important thing.”
Reality: Safety and a consistent environment are the context for healthy relationships. Respect for authority is essential for safety sanity and dignity.
Claim: “Coaches don’t yell at their athletes.”
Reality: Except for when they need to. Tough love is an essential element of real love.
Claim: “Accountability must be non-judgmental.”
Reality: Judgement must be righteous, but judge we must. To deny judgement is to deny the existence of right and wrong, in which case, you have no authority to tell anyone what to do in the first place. Mercy can only operate in the context of law.
Claim: “This empowerment model is a trauma informed approach.”
Reality: Trauma isn’t an excuse for Marxist lawlessness. It’s ok for kids to learn the critical life lesson of obedience to law, and those who enforce it. Human rights are best protected by rule of law. Trauma has become another excuse in a long line of failed excuses of why we should set aside common sense and western civilization.
Claim: “Teaching kids to breathe is the most important skill.”
Reality: Teaching kids that you’ll consistently enforce expectations and that they can personally chose to accept law or accept a negative consequence is the most empowering skill a child can learn. Maximizing personal accountability is what minimizes stresses.
