Parenting

 

Effects of Family of Origin on an Individual’s Attachment Preferences. 2

Expect Great Things of Young People. 10

The Revelatory function of a parent. 11

Megan Richardson Parenting Essays. 11

Rules of Civility in the Honorable Home. 17

How Children Benefit from Having Many Siblings. 19

Prophets Discourage Anger. 22

Abortion. 24

Modern Prophets Discourage Delaying Childbirth. 27

Exponential Exaltation via Childbearing. 42

Family Creation Analogous to The Fall and Atonement: Path to Salvation. 46

Birth Control 48

Childbearing. 68

Eternal Parenting: An Inheritance from The Lord. 84

Losing Your Children and Eternal Procreative Power Upon Disobedience. 94

The Parent Child Relationship in the Hereafter. 96

Parenthood: The Eternal Fountain of Glory. 98

Developmental Outline Sketch for Raising Children. 98

Priority Parenting and Family Structure. 104

Parenting Notes. 106

Administering Mercy as a Parent in Zion: Words of the Prophets. 107

Administering Justice as a Parent in Zion: Words from the Prophets. 118

10 Foster Parenting Myths. 131

Family Council Meetings. 134

Fighting For Zion-esque Fatherhood & Beauty in a Brutal Babylon. 135

Why Bad things to Good People? God Isn’t a Nanny Parent. 137

We are Living in The Great and Spacious Building. 138

Family Based Duties & Priorities for All 138

Notes on Lessons from Fathers of Faith by Maller et al 140

Notes on the Fountain of Life by President Boyd K. Packer. 147

Parenting Appendix A: The Invisible Mother by Nicole Johnson. 151

 

 

 

 

Effects of Family of Origin on an Individual’s Attachment Preferences

 

 

 

 

The Effects of Family of Origin on an Individual’s Attachment Preferences

Kourtney Hernandez, Katelyn Louder, Michael Kezele, Nate Richardson

SFL 290 – Brigham Young University

Professor Draper

 

Abstract

 

The family an individual is raised in can change their entire schema, perception, and trajectory of life. This study seeks to understand whether the size of an individual’s family plays an important role in their attachment preferences, whether they prefer closer ties with friends or family. In order to measure this 300+ participants were surveyed about their preferences between family and friends, how many siblings they had, and how they perceive their personal happiness. From the data we can infer that the larger the family, the more interconnected you will be. This report will discuss in greater depth the results and conclusions from the survey.

Introduction & Literature Review

 

The concept of attachment preferences in emerging adults is an under-researched topic. Not many people have taken the time perform research in this area and it deserves to be studied more in depth. This contemporary issue will be studied to observe what causes emerging adults to choose to focus on certain relationships. Studying this subject would be beneficial to people and make society a better place as the research findings would give results as to what might predict close relationships with friends or family. Having this knowledge would be beneficial as we could figure out what drives people to have tightly knit family relationships (even if they have relocated or moved away from the family of origin). Also worth consideration is the individual who has gone down a different path in life and was never very close to their family, but has found amazing friends that they can trust. With the results, predictions could be made to see if the size of one’s family of origin will impact their relationship inclinations or not (see Fig. 1 and Table 1). The study hypothesis is that the size of the family of origin directly correlates with the attachment preferences (family or friends).

It was assumed that that when the research was completed it would help people everywhere in relationships. For example, maybe the results come to be that if one has a large family they are more likely to be close with friends and distanced from family. Knowing this as a parent would be beneficial as one would know that they need to work on relationships with children and making sure they know that they are all loved and wanted. On the other hand, maybe these research findings will show that those who have small families are very closely knit, but as a downside they do not get out often enough to interact and create relationships with classmates. This could help that same person know that they need to go to more school activities and involve themselves with children from class. It is important to complete this research to find how coming from a large or small family with have a significant impact on the relationships one has and who one has them with.

The current literature has taken more of a focus on romantic relationships’ effect on an individual rather than familial effect. Beyond even the study of familial effect on attachment preferences there have been little to no studies done on the role that family size plays as a variable in that equation. This lack of research leaves plenty of room for questions and very few answers. This study intends to infer the most we can from the available research but also discover the relationship or lack thereof. The hypothesis here observed is that the size of one’s family of origin directly correlates with their attachment preferences (i.e. if they feel a stronger connection to family versus friends). This study will be researching to find if the family of origin will have an impact on an individual’s relationships which in turn could cause a family (or husband and wife) to have the desire for a larger or smaller family because of the impacts it will have on their relationships.

One particular study by Tomo Umemura, Lenka Lacinov, Petr Macek and E S Kunnen focused on emerging adult attachment preferences between friends and romantic partners. In their research, they collected a sample of 379 participants and studied them at two separate points, the summer of 2013 and the following summer of 2014. Umemura et. al concluded from their research that those in the study who were involved in a romantic relationship either during both points of the study or had developed one in between, increased in their preferences for connection with their romantic partners as opposed to friends; whereas participants who were not involved in a romantic relationship at either point or in between, preferred friends over the idea of a romantic partner (Umemura, Lacinov, Macek, & Kunnen, 2017, p. 136-142). From this one may deduce that attachment preferences are not the same for all individuals and the relationships one has (or do not have) affects their personal attachment preferences. This study of interest could impact the study here performed because many college students (especially here at Brigham Young University) are dating and perhaps even looking for a spouse. It may simply depend on what stage of life one is in — that is where the strongest relationship will be. This is why it is important to perform a research study to find out where all of these current college students are at in their relationship attachments. An interesting observation made in current research is that:

“During adolescence and young adulthood, when remaining life time seems unlimited, information acquisition goals are relatively more prevalent compared with other life periods. People focus on gathering knowledge and information from diverse relationships and sources, which is achieved best in large networks with diverse relationship partners. After young adulthood and throughout the rest of adult life, when remaining life time is perceived as increasingly limited, emotion regulation goals become increasingly important. People emphasize emotional aspects of relationships and focus on close relationships, such as those with family members, with expected pleasant interactions that most likely satisfy emotion regulation goals” (Wrzus, Hnel, Wagner, & Neyer, 2013, p. 54).

This observation contributed to the understanding that emerging adults tend to veer away from family social networks because of the nature of the life period; unless they feel they have a large enough familial social network to have these needs met. Adding to the theory that family relationships are less important than friends in the emerging adulthood period of life is the theory presented by A. Graham that families and friend relationships are becoming “suffused” or there is an overlap between the two. Graham suggests that the current generation is engaging in such flexibility in distinction between relationships that friends may hold a higher esteem over family because they are considered to be an actual part of an individual’s family (Graham, 2008). This may be due to the nature of emerging adulthood, and that as one “enter[s] emerging adulthood, many individuals transition to a new home, separate and apart from their caregiver’s home and from siblings, which is likely to limit opportunities to interact and demonstrate supportive behaviors towards their siblings [and/or other family members]” (Portner, Riggs, 2016). From these studies it is observed that emerging adulthood may elicit specialized attachment preferences. With these theories in mind it will make more sense why perhaps the observed group of this study affiliates more with friends rather than family members.

Some final research conclusions that have aided the current conversation on the topic are the following. One study concluded that the larger the family the less the desire to move [away] and consequently the higher the preference for family attachment became (Chen & Yang, 2016).  Researchers have also found that as family size and composition increased, personal depressive symptoms in the individuals tested, decreased. The two previous studies mentioned could support the theory that close familial relationships will be developed in larger families despite transition into emerging adulthood (Fuller-Iglesias, H., Webster, N. J., & Antonucci, T. C., 2015). Lastly, the socioemotional selectivity theory is an intriguing theory that really pinpoints the “why” behind the way people prefer different social attachments throughout different stages of life. The theory states that, “reduced rates of interaction in late life are viewed as the result of lifelong selection processes by which people strategically and adaptively cultivate their social networks to maximize social and emotional gains and minimize social and emotional risks” (Carstensen, 1992).  From the study by Carstensen, one may visually see across the lifespan, an individual’s closeness, satisfaction, and interaction in their relationships is highly dependent on their age (Carstensen, 1992).

Method

The theory tested here, that attachment preference–to family versus friends–will be affected by family of origin size, will be difficult to correlate. A survey was created to highlight how people would act in specific situations, directing their response into either the category of family or friends. The survey easily determines family size, but determining who one turns to in life for connection is difficult to certify.

The population sampled was primarily emerging adults (age 18-25). Other ages were also sampled, but this survey will differentiate between ages from questions on age.

The sample primarily targeted Brigham Young University (BYU) students, but other random persons were surveyed as well. The study differentiated between students and non-students by a survey question. This allowed the comparison of students to non-students in addition to the primary sample of BYU students.

The survey was administered to approximately 100 BYU students and 200 non-BYU students, giving a total baseline of 300 participants. The survey was solicited to BYU students and others via social media. The online survey tool “Qualtrics” was used to administer the electronic self-survey (see appendix).

The survey was given to everyone and anyone. There was no discrimination on grounds of education, class, social status, or gender. Discrimination occurs inside of the survey based on age, BYU student status, and family of origin size.

These discriminating factors of the survey played a key role in finding data. The separating of persons into groups allowed one to see how much bias is coming from BYU students compared to non-BYU students. Family size showed if a person raised in a larger family of origin would prefer family relationships to other social relationships (coworkers, friends, etc.). Age helped sort the data on preference to family versus other social relationships, as the married/older persons were likely to be more bias toward family instead of other social relationships.

Some of the survey questions were positive, some were negative. For example, if a person tells their family about a negative event, they are typically comfortable or close to their family. If the individual lies about a negative event to family (or simply chooses not to share) but will tell friends, a preference is apparent for non-familial social relationships. Looking at who the sample shares negative events with helped measure attachment preferences.

The marital status question is included because it helps the observer to put into perspective the individual’s preferences; it is natural for married people to turn to a spouse or children, rather than friends.

The independent variables include: age, BYU student status, marital status, number of siblings, and the makeup of the family of origin. The dependent variables include: closeness to family and closeness to friends. The survey questions were scrutinized in an attempt to eliminate as many extraneous variables as we can. The student status was measured with a simple question “are you a BYU student? Yes/No”. The study measured the marital status with a question “what is your marital status? Single, Married, Divorced, Not Looking, Other”. The study measured number of siblings with a question “How many siblings do you have?” and the person will be able to fill in how many they have.  The study measured closeness to family versus closeness to other social relationships with hypothetical questions asking whom they would turn to in common situations, the choices being between family and other social relationships. The survey questions employed several categories they could respond to i.e. roommates coworkers, friends, family, brothers and parents. This was to help them to relate to questions better, but the study is just looking at friends (non-familial social relationships) versus family.

The research design is descriptive research due to the fact that the population was random, and the study was merely finding and describing what is occurring in the respondent’s present unaltered situations.

From the survey results, inferential statistics were created. These have and will provide insight into the personal biases and preferences of the participants. Descriptive statistics were used from the survey results to show if there are any correlations between individuals attachment preferences and size of the family of origin…as well as additional factors that might play a role.

Results

Upon reviewing the data it is apparent that the size of one’s family does indeed affect an individual’s preference towards family or friends.

[Insert Figure 1 here and table 1 here]

The biggest difference found was between people with two or fewer siblings compared to their counterparts who had three or more siblings.  The group with two or fewer siblings was more inclined to call or communicate with their families less often, spend more time with friends than family on the weekends, and be happier when with their friends.

Another interesting result found that those who had more siblings had a higher rate of parents who were still married compared to individuals with fewer siblings were more likely to have divorced parents.

The correlation between number of siblings and when one is most happiest (with friends or family) was found to be .17. Though this is not a strong correlation there is still a positive correlation that the more siblings one has the more they are attached to their family rather than the friends. The findings of the study, though minimal, confirm the thesis.

Discussion

In conclusion with the research question, on average the more siblings a person has, the more their affinity toward family instead of friends. This refutes the idea that the more siblings one has, the less likely they will want to spend time at home in a perhaps more chaotic environment. Individuals with large families (three or more siblings) prefer to spend the majority of the time with their family overall. That tends to be when they are happiest.

There is a great difference between family preferences when a family changes from having two children to having three children. It was seen that the larger the number of siblings a person had, the more they wanted to spend their time with family as opposed to friends.

The number of siblings positively correlated with the amount of time a person preferred to spend with their family as opposed to friends.

In summary, the more children a family has, the more knit together they will be. They will want to call home more often, they will be more likely to have deeper relationships with family members and maintain contact with them even when they do not live together.

Limitations

The survey was distributed via social media to increase the sample size and to gather a more representative sample. However, the online friend groups that the survey was distributed to did not necessarily provide a sample that represented the whole population. Additionally, the test did not account for: the health of the family relationships, individuals who do not have families but rather, grew up in orphanages or in the foster system, for individuals who suffer from any physical or mental disorders, or the effect that those disorders have on an individual’s ability to socialize. Furthermore this test did not account for external variables like schedule; work hours, volunteer hours, personal hours and the effects that that time has on utilizing relationships.

Initial predictions that a large number of respondents would be emerging adults, currently enrolled at Brigham Young University, an institution sponsored by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. This sample contained cultural views on the value of family, which have the potential to skew the results. Some respondents may have answer certain questions in favor of family because of cultural expectations. The study attempted to eliminate these trait errors by asking for honesty from the respondents, stating and protecting anonymity and drawing part of the sample from outside resources.

 

 

References

 

Carstensen, L. L. (1992). Social and emotional patterns in adulthood: Support for socioemotional

selectivity theory. Psychology and aging, 7(3), 331-338.

Chen, J., & Yang, H. (2016). Geographical mobility, income, life satisfaction and family size

preferences: An empirical study on rural households in Shaanxi and Henan Provinces in China. Social Indicators, 129(1), 277-290.

Fuller-Iglesias, H., Webster, N. J., & Antonucci, T. C. (2015). The complex nature of
family support across the life span: Implications for psychological well-being.

Developmental Psychology, 51(3), 277-288. doi:10.1037/a0038665

Graham, A. (2008). Flexibility, friendship, and family. Personal Relationships, 15(1), 1-16.

Martinson, V. K., Holman, T. B., Larson, J. H., & Jackson, J. B. (2010). The relationship

between coming to terms with family-of-origin difficulties and adult relationship satisfaction. American Journal of Family Therapy, 38(3), 207-217. doi:10.1080/01926180902961696

Portner, L.C. & Riggs, S.A. J Child Fam Stud (2016) 25: 1755.

doi:10.1007/s10826-015-0358-5

Umemura, T., Lacinov, L., Macek, P., & Kunnen, E. S. (2017). Longitudinal changes in emerging

adults attachment preferences for their mother, father, friends, and romantic partner: Focusing on the start and end of romantic relationships. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 41(1), 136-142.

Wrzus, C., Hnel, M., Wagner, J., & Neyer, F. J. (2013). Social network changes and life events

across the life span: A meta-analysis. Psychological bulletin, 139(1), 53-80.

Survey:

  1. Are you a current college student? Choose 1.
  • Yes
  • No

 

If yes, are you a currently enrolled as a student at Brigham Young University? Choose 1.

  • Yes
  • No

 

  1. What is your gender? Choose 1.
  • Male
  • Female
  • Other

 

  1. How old are you? Choose 1.
  • 18-20
  • 21-24
  • 25-30
  • 30+

 

  1. Which of the following choices best represents your family of origin makeup: Choose 1.
  • Single parent
  • Blended family
  • two parents
  • divorced parents
  • one parent widowed

 

  1. How many siblings do you have? Fill in the blank.

 

  1. Marital Status: Choose all that apply.
  • Single
  • Married
  • Divorced
  • Not looking
  • Other
  1. I am happiest when I am: Choose 1.
  • With family
  • With friends
  • By myself

 

  1. How do you choose to spend your weekends? Choose 1.
  • In quiet solitude
  • Outs in the world in social settings
  • With family

 

  1. You are about to move to Montana, but hesitate leaving your home turf which is 300 miles away. Montana seems less expensive, will have better jobs and cleaner air. In this situation what would make you hesitate? Drag the scale to match your preference.
  • distance from my family
  • distance from my friends

 

  1. Which type of schooling do you prefer? Choose 1.
  • Public school
  • Private school
  • Home school

 

  1. You were caught cheating on a test. Who do you confide in first? Choose 1.
  • Coworkers
  • Roommates
  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Friend
  • No one
  1. You just got engaged to be married and are so excited! Who do you share this wonderful news with first? Choose 1.
  • Coworkers
  • Roommates
  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Friends

 

  1. When you moved out for this first time away from your family, how often did you contact them? Choose 1.
  • Once a week
  • Every day
  • Once a month
  • On holidays/reunions
  • Never

 

  1. Which factor do you consider most important in categorizing someone as a close friend? Choose 1-2.

-Trusting relationship

-Frequent contact

-Proximity

-Similarities

-Relative

 

  1.  Do you feel you lean more towards family relations or friendships to help you feel happy on a daily basis? Drag the scale to match your preference.

 

-Family gives me all my happiness ——————-Both sources———————-Friends give me all my happiness. (slider scale)

 

  1. Rate your happiness from 1 to 10. Drag the scale to match your preference.

 

1 (very unhappy)——————-5(typically happy)———————10(always happy)

  1. How often do you feel happy? Choose 1.
  • Very often
  • Often
  • Seldom
  • Never

Figure 1: “I am Happiest When I”

 

Table 1: “I Am Happiest When I Am…” Measuring Attachment Preference to Sibling Group

 

2 Siblings 5 Siblings
Alone 11.54% 14.29%
With Friends 32.69% 8.57%
With Family 55.77% 77.14%

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Expect Great Things of Young People

 

 

-Joseph Smith had a section of the bone in his leg removed without anesthetics. He was also sincere enough to seek deeply for correct religion at age 14, including many hours studying the bible, and when the revelation did come to him, that great first vision, he endured much persecution from the religious leaders of his day, still at the young age of 15.

-Joan of Arc was having visions at a very young age, and was a martyr at age 18.

-Some of the great composers were writing better music in their teens and preteen years than other great musicians could at the height of their careers.

-Several modern prophets have spoken of reading The Book of Mormon from cover to cover at a very young age, such as 8 years.

-Joseph F Smith was a full time missionary at age 16, and an Apostle in his late 20’s.

-Listen to Mozart’s story, including what he played at age 6, and what he composed at age 8, etc. https://youtu.be/Dau-mKCGKXI

-Howard W Hunter played 7 instruments competently when a teenager. (see Presidents of the Church book by Truman G Madsen).
-Joseph Fielding Smith speaking of his father Joseph F. Smith, he said “My father never had time to be a boy.” (p58 of In The Company of Prophets by Arthur Haycock). He had driven an ox team across the plains with his mother when he was just a boy, at age fifteen, orphaned, he was sent on a mission to Hawaii where he served for four and a half years.

-When a 12-Year-Old Plays Better Than You (Two Set Violin) https://youtu.be/yq08X_8BI8c

-Teen (Tim Doner) speaks 20 languages: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km9-DiFaxpU

-There are a series of Ted Talks particularly by teens called “Tedx Teen”.

 

 

 

The Revelatory function of a parent

 

 

 

 

A parent reveals the keys of the mysteries of life eternity and the universe to its children. Mankind wanders, and finds wisdom and knowledge, wishing he would have had it earlier. It is his duty to pass that information on with clarity and great persuasion and love and fun, so his child will receive it. Let the parent also not lose his temper, for the scripture says that in such a case, the child loses confidence in the parent.

Our father in heaven is trying to reveal truth to us. May we be parents of virtue who clearly teach all things to their children. May we emulate father in heaven (and that always means emulate his equal companion whom is our Mother in Heaven).

Elder Maxwell said that to those who ha e eyes to see and wars to hear, it is clear that Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ are revealing the secrets of the universe.

President Nelson when first having become the President of the church said in his first conference address that he was impressed by how clearly the Lord reveals his will for his people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Megan Richardson Parenting Essays

 

 

Meg writes on abortion 2019

Unpopular opinion time but killing the person growing inside you is not your choice. It is not part of you. The umbilical cord literally separates it from you so your blood doesn’t mingle because if it does there are serious consequences for the baby. You had the choice to engage in behavior that created that being, but you do not have the choice to terminate life just because it grew in you. And in cases of rape although you may not have had the choice understand statistics show you will likely suffer PTSD for a very long time if you decide to terminate rather than make the best of an ugly situation. I know most will disagree and that’s fine. I am not here to please everyone. Enjoy clicking on the other articles in your newsfeed praising NY.

 

 

 

 

Meg writes of strong moms 2019

 

I didn’t get where I am today by curling up in a ball and giving up. I am literally alive today because I fight for every breath I take. Strength doesn’t mean a lack of gentleness. It means persevering when you feel the storm beating down on your back. It means dropping to your knees because you have the wisdom to know you literally can’t handle it alone. The world would have you think a strong mom has a right hook and cutting words but truly strong moms kiss owies, wipe tears, and sometimes cry into their pillows before falling asleep and doing it all over again. Thank you strong mamas for being you.

 

 

 

Meg writes on charity 2019

Love makes the world go round. Be brave. Love those that will never understand what you go through. Love those who judge and criticize. Love those who unintentionally hurt you. Love the person who dings your car in the parking lot or wears perfume that gives you a headache. Love the person who knocked over your garbage can or colored on your freshly cleaned sheets. Hate gets you nowhere and love gives you the power to understand others even when they are doing things that hurt you. Charity never faileth.

 

 

Meg on healing:

 

Healing is not about whether you die. Healing is about how fully you live. -Eliot Cowan

 

Meg on trials becoming strengths:

Life is not fair. If it were, so many things in my life would be different. But I would miss out on the life lessons CF teaches me, the awakening to a healthier way to live that GP gave me, the love and patience my children give me, and the empathy and understanding being a foster parent has given me. There are miracles we witness if instead of bemoaning our situation in life, we try to lift as we wish others would lift us. Christ has given me many gifts as the years have gone by, most of which initially look like trials, but I believe as we come to see with an eye single to the glory of God our lives are enhanced. If your tree looks bare this year, thank God for the charity in your heart, the patience being chiseled into you day by day, and the sacrifice of the Savior who made your shortcomings into stepping stones.

 

Meg on fostering

 

If you ever want literally every move you make from what you feed your kids to when you send them to bed, what you use to wipe their bum, when you bathe them, and everything in between to be criticized for the high wage of 67 cents an hour, consider becoming a foster parent. I promise I love the kids, I just hate the system.

 

 

Meg on giving kindness

 

Please please please this holiday season find it in your heart to be kind. You don’t know if the person who just bumped into you can barely keep their eyes open because they have multiple sick babies at home and are sick themselves but still trying to keep up with life’s demands. You don’t know if the person who you just criticized is working 24/7 to provide for not only her children but three others as well. You don’t know if the person you just judged for having unruly kids at the supermarket has kids who are psychologically triggered by holidays and sensory overload but couldn’t get a babysitter. The best gift you can give this season is not wrapped. It is the gift of showing others love rather than judgement, hate, anger, and resentment. Don’t be so concerned about getting the latest toy for your kids that you neglect treating others with respect and kindness.

 

 

Meg on the rewards of being a mother

 

Sometimes I think my job is a thankless one. I tire from the constant barrage of lies, the amount of times a day I break up fistfights, and the never ending digs that I try not to let hurt me. Then as I lay exhausted at the end of the day watching the kids play, Abbie gives me the biggest smile, so proud of her playdough creation, and I feel rewarded. I may not be told thanks but these precious moments are the thanks for all the tears shed in quiet moments.

 

Meg on Suffering with Christ

 

Some days the road we walk is difficult, but I think of Christ and how He desperately wanted His disciples to just sit with Him while He went through the pains of hell, yet they would not. These days with little sleep and lots of difficulties are my way of telling the Lord that even though I too am exhausted to the bone, I will help His children in their time of need. I will not leave the sufferer alone while I slumber. I am not a saint, but I am a Christian and as such I will be His hands to accomplish His work on the earth.

 

Meg on parenting many children and not judging the mothers

 

I used to judge moms with a ton of kids. I felt like they brought their problems on themselves. Now as a foster/adoptive mom hauling around my children and bonus children I get payback a lot. A lot of people judge and make comments whether to my face or behind my back. I get really used to hearing negative comments like “why did she bring all those kids? She clearly can’t control them.” In truth especially right after a placement when we are all still getting used to each other no I can’t control everyone. Unfortunately that’s when I am out in public the most getting them everything they need. We had stake conference today and we had a wild bunch but there were several strangers who stepped up to help out with kids no explanations or questions necessary. I have no clue who they were and don’t know if I will ever see them again but I really appreciate the way they treated my family. If you ever feel like you can’t think of anything to do to help someone, look for the frazzled mom and just help. Oh and also try not to judge. You don’t know the story. Thanks! PSA over.

 

Meg on religious tolerance

 

I took my children to the Krishna Lotus Temple today. We met a wonderful Indian woman who told us about the dieties she worships. It was a great cultural experience but she said something that made me sad. She said she moved from New York and people here were less than welcoming. Please no matter what religion you belong to, teach your children to reach out in love and understanding to people who believe differently than they do. Focus on your similarities. We have the power to unite or divide this nation with our words and our actions. Especially as a mother or father you have the power to shape the political and religious landscape of the future. Think about that while you preach to hate and discriminate against those who choose to worship differently than you do. “We believe in worshipping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.”

 

Meg on natural disasters to teach us charity

 

As inquisitive toddlers often do, my children peppered me with “why”s today as we traveled to Payson and witnessed the fire. Although there are a million answers I thought back to the time in my life when the Santaquin mountain burnt blocks from my childhood home. I recalled the lesson I learned to serve and help all those less fortunate than ourselves. I don’t think the sole reason for the fire or the mudslide following was to teach a girl how to serve but I remember feeling needed even as a kid to help and that fueled my desire to help later in life. You never know the answers God is teaching others. Don’t question just find your own why. If you are having trouble, He will help you.

 

Meg on being a hero and teaching current events

 

This morning I sat my kids down and had a history lesson about the World Trade Center. We talked about what happened but mostly we talked about what it takes to be a hero. There were so many service personnel that lost their lives, so many boat drivers who answered the call to evacuate Manhattan’s stranded, and so many that lost their lives fighting to save our freedom afterward. We may not lose our lives in our fight to be a hero but we make choices that determine our destiny every day. The little choices you make today build you into the person you will be when tragedy strikes and determine how you will answer the call. Are you making the choices that create an unsung hero?

 

Meg on fostering

 

You might be a foster parent if:
Your arms ache from holding two 14 month old babies, both of whom cried for their mama all day and only one of whom was referring to you.
You spent half an hour explaining to a child that most kids don’t like to hurt and so we don’t throw rocks at them even if you think it feels good when they throw them at you.
You have had to finagle seven car seats into one vehicle with room for older kids to get to their strategically placed seats so they can get thrown bottles and toys as you drive.
#Soexhaustedsoworthit

 

Guys, being a foster parent is awesome. It’s hard, but it is so wonderful how you can be filled with so much love for so many different children. Some children you hope go home. Others you hope find a safer situation, but no matter what, you love them fiercely. I am so grateful for the fosters I adopted, the fosters I have had through respite, and those yet to come. They are all amazing!!

 

Meg on writing

 

I gave my personal writing station a makeover and I am loving how the words are flowing! It’s time to breathe a sigh that I survived the emotional roller coaster of the onslaught of words just released. Nothing is more cleansing than a good writing session.

 

Meg on homeschool

 

Today we officially started homeschooling! It felt wonderful to eat breakfast together, turn on an audiobook while we all cleaned for a bit, and say a prayer before we got started on our math, language arts, history, and science for the day. I am so glad for the agency to choose what I think is best for my children and the freedom to carry it out.

 

Meg on God trying us

 

Don’t ever tell the Lord you can’t handle one more thing. He has a habit of proving you wrong. Also He doesn’t take too kindly to you telling Him you are strong enough and to back off for a bit on the refining thing. Just a friendly word of warning 🙂

 

Meg on the Holy Ghost

 

 

One of my assignments for my master of herbalism class this week was to study alternative forms of healing such as Shamanism, yoga, essences, and the like. Although my spiritual path is a bit different than any of the ones I have been studying, I believe we were created to do great things and tap into the power within us. Sometimes we must listen to the voice that tells us to slow down. Other times we must hasten to the help of another, but our greatest strength lies in learning to heed that still, small voice. Our power lies in remembering who we are. Our world moves so fast and too often we don’t take time to ponder, listen, and be still. I am grateful for the illness this week that made me slow down and appreciate life. I hope everyone can find time to tap into spiritual power today. “Be still and know that I am God,” He promises. Listen.

 

 

Meg on Mother’s Day and Challenges of Motherhood, 2019

 

Mother’s day is always hard for me. It was hard during my years of infertility when I longed to be a mom. It was hard after I took in foster children and realized how much I really didn’t know about being a mom, especially to kids who needed so much love. It is hard on days like today when all I want is to be a normal mama enjoying her kids not worrying about how much my joints hurt or wondering if my lungs would stop fighting with me because I spent time outside and my asthma is kicking up. Its hard because I always feel I am coming up short, but I take comfort in Elder Holland’s words, “To all mothers in every circumstance, including those who struggle—and all will—I say, ‘Be peaceful. Believe in God and yourself. You are doing better than you think you are. In fact, you are saviors on Mount Zion, and like the Master you follow, your love ‘never faileth.’”

 

 

Meg on the joy of having a friend as a supervisor, 2019

 

Today I got to go to lunch with my old boss. We talked for an hour and a half before I realized how late it was! Thanks Tenille Frederick Goeringer for being not just a supervisor but a friend. I miss my days working at Seagull primarily because of this lady. I am so lucky to be surrounded by awesome people who encourage me!

 

 

Meg on Notre Dame’s Fire, and Metaphors for Our Lives

 

Notre-Dame was ravaged during the French Revolution and world wars not to mention the years of neglect brought to light by Napoleon and Victor Hugo. It took 300 years to build and went through numerous modifications and renovations for various reasons. Yet through all of this, it is the most visited monument in Paris. Why? Because beauty is born in suffering; the Phoenix rises from the ashes. We are building cathedrals. It may be more painful than we had hoped. We may feel neglected or abandoned more than once in our lives. We may have our world crash down on us much like the centuries old roof of Notre-Dame. Our life may take more modifications than we feel we can handle, but if we just hang on, someday we will be revered as a sacred dwelling for the Lord. You may not have rich philanthropists promising to pay to rebuild you, but one man paid all He had for you so you could be whole again. Please if you need help to rebuild your life, pray, see the bishop, call a friend, and turn tragedy into triumph.

 

 

Meg on Feeling Like She Comes Up Short in Her Duties, and Gratitude for God’s Grace

 

Can I just say that as a mom of five and current foster mom of two who constantly feels like I am coming up short, I loved Elder Holland’s talk because although he gave a gentle chastisement to the chronically late to church he also gave the battle worn woman who drags her kids and a diaper bag into church permission to be late. He told me that my efforts are enough. That God knows I get up three hours before church starts and sometimes we are still late because someone is missing a shoe or there was a diaper blowout or the bottle spilled or the myriad of other things that go wrong Sunday mornings. He gave me permission to just be me and let me know that God was ok with that. God knows exactly what’s going on and He just gave me a free late pass. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father to whom my efforts are enough.

 

…Tonight’s Come Follow Me tidbit on Christ bringing peace in the middle of life’s storms was very needed today. May he bless me with the calm I need to weather all the storms I am currently in haha.

 

…I found this gem when I was putting the finishing touches on my lesson for tomorrow. “No matter how bleak the chapter of our lives may look today, because of the life and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, we may hope and be assured that the ending of the book of our lives will exceed our grandest expectations.”-Dieter F Uchtdorf. Isn’t it marvelous?

 

…Someday I am going to be so sparkly you can hardly look at me because this girl is getting some serious refining and polishing lately.

 

 

Meg on Dealing with Those who Scold You

 

An anonymous benefactor put a rather scalding letter with their opinion of me on my doorstep today in view of all my children. Please if it was you I beg you not to do the same to the next person you find fault in. If your goal is to publicly shame others think how that would feel if others did it to you. I have been through hell and back and will make it through this battle but please respect the feelings of others.

 

 

Meg on the challenge of living with a terminal illness, 2019

 

Five Feet Apart is being ripped to shreds by many in the CF community. I have not seen it nor read the book but I will tell you one thing. My parents raised me to believe I could do and be anything I set my mind to. I was valedictorian, sterling scholar, and had numerous other accolades throughout the years because of this. I even achieved my lifelong dream of being a writer and a mom simultaneously. But I also felt the beast inside me. My teenage dreams were of the boys who helped me when I couldn’t breathe at school or boys who took me dancing because they knew I loved it and then held me up toward the end when my lungs were on fire. I married one of those boys. My heart belongs to the one who sent me heart bamboo when I was in the hospital for Valentines Day our senior year of high school, who half carried me home from a CF fundraiser I hosted, and who talked with me on a hike about the frustrations of insurance long before he knew he would share that burden someday. The amount of times I pictured a guy holding my hand in the ICU is proof that relationships are a little different when you have CF. I am glad someone is talking about it. Are there probably some things wrong with the story? Sure, but it’s high time the world has a window to our struggle. It’s not just a fight to breathe. It’s a fight for the right to a semi normal life in a non-ordinary way. It’s a fight to feel you deserve love and a fight to cherish the moments you have with the ones you love. It’s making decisions that may shorten your life because in the end you want to say you lived, not just survived.

 

 

 

 

Rules of Civility in the Honorable Home

 

 

 

These rules are desired outcomes. Bringing children to these is a matter of patience, persuasion, and non-physical punishments.

 

Conversation with the child after a poor choice has been made:

-I don’t think that was the correct answer / you look like you need a minute to cool down. I would love to talk to you. Please stand here until you are ready to talk.

“Mom, I’m ready to talk”

-What did you do wrong? Why was that a bad choice? What should your consequence be for that choice?

 

Conflict Resolution:

-a child must learn to say to another child “That wasn’t very respectful, but I forgive you.” Life isn’t fair, and they must learn to respond in a Christlike way without parental intervention each time.

-no touching another person in anger

-the parent will seek to notice and reward incidences of positive behavior

 

Etiquette:

-host (usually mother) takes the first bite at a meal

-ask to pass foods at meals

-no touching food which isn’t meant to be; sit close to table flat

-no interrupting someone else who is speaking, especially an adult

-only one person speaks at a time

-no running in the home

-when a child is spoken to, they look the adult in the eye then respond, indicating that they understand and will obey, or that they do not understand, or that they would like to discuss the requirement and potentially obtain a compromise

 

Work:

-you have assigned chores for each day of the week.

-your bed is to be made each morning

-your room is not to have clothing on the floor

-a clean room is a general expectation, and the parent can halt a child’s play at any time if the room is not clean

-occasionally extra jobs are given per consequence, eventually extra jobs are given from necessity. The parent will attempt to find rewards for the extra chores.

-there are general day chores, and chores which apply after each meal.

-children must clean up toys before being invited to any other activity

-“doing your best” on a chore is not sufficient. If your work is not satisfactory, the parent or an older sibling will teach you how to bring up your best to an acceptable level.

 

Schedule:

-there is a bed time. Those who get up after the bed time receive a consequence, usually a house cleaning job.

-daily chores must be completed before free time.

 

Weekly Planning Meeting:

-appointments arranged

-a goal is set for each person

-a reward is set for each person, usually a measurable monetary reward such as a favorite candy

 

Various:

 

-hand washing after using the bathroom, taking out a diaper, or playing outside and prior to eating are required.

-Quiet time is to be observed every afternoon. If you are home you will participate. That means in your room doing a quiet activity such as reading or coloring that does not wake others who may be sleeping. If your actions wake anyone else you will receive a consequence.

-Lying and stealing will not be tolerated and consequences will be given for such behavior in accordance with the item or activity the perpetrator was dishonest regarding.

-You must respect another’s right not to be touched and other personal physical boundaries. If a person tells you to stop you must listen.

-You must respect the property of others. You ask permission to use things that don’t belong to you and you put them away nicely when finished with them.

 

 

 

 

How Children Benefit from Having Many Siblings

 

 

See also the research essay some peers and I wrote at BYU earlier in this text, “Effects of Family of Origin on an Individual’s Attachment Preferences”

 

Note: These are generalizations. Follow the spirit regarding your family size and know that you can create a Zion environment for your children no matter how many of them there are as you turn to God for guidance. I believe, generally speaking, child development is more wholesome when siblings, and even what we call ‘large’ numbers of siblings, are together in a home when compared to single child or small sibling groups. Here are some of my reasons for this conviction.

 

  1. To have friends. Often there aren’t many children around to be friends with, having siblings solves that problem. Further, adults have a hard time having close friendships, and siblings give a great opportunity to have long term close friendships. The celestial kingdom of God will be more greatly desired when the children experience the heaven pre-show in the home. Home is a prototype of what heaven is. Prophets have said that heaven is the extension of the ideal home. Surely, we would picture heaven as a place where children have many companions their age with whom to pleasantly spend their time. They can look back on their childhood and say, “that was fun, I have so many memories of happy times at home.” This will greatly motivate them to make choices which will enable them to the eventual home of the celestial kingdom, after which the home they were reared in was patterned. These high doses of cooperative play will give the kids a lifelong sense of optimism and gratitude for life.
  2. To increase sensory stimulus. Children will learn to speak faster as they hear others speaking more constantly throughout the day. This rapid growth will transfer to other areas such as reading and athletics as well. The children will serve as each other’s tutors, highly available tutors, to assist in one on one learning through the years.
  3. Having many siblings increases the odds that your personality will match one of your siblings’. A boy and a girl can get along in many things, but some things boys just enjoy differently than girls. Further, 2 boys can be of a very different temperament. One boy could like throwing a ball, the other could like playing video games, and thus even though there are 2 people, they often spend time alone. If you have more siblings, you’ll likely find among them people you quite enjoy. The athletic child will have someone to spar with, the thinking child will have someone to philosophize with, the lass with have someone to play school with, or to play dolls with, or to swing with. All children can get along now and then, but the joy of having more personality types in the group brings much satisfaction.
  4. Have alternative sibling role models. If one of your older siblings choses the dark side, you can likely have a different older sibling who chooses the light. Hopefully all your siblings will turn out to be good citizens in this world and the kingdom of God, but if not, the lad can still have someone other than a parent as a positive role model. Bach was the youngest of 8, and came from a very musical family. It is said that they composed and played for one another.
  5. Siblings hold each other accountable. If a single child or a child of 1 or 2 siblings is doing devious things in school or the community or the home, he can often get away with it by bribing the other siblings or being secretive. But when there are many siblings, there are many eyes, and they can help each other be accountable. A most destructive thing is when a child feels unwatched by loved ones, and thus allows themselves to do things which they would not do in front of family. Yes, we all have times alone and we must all pass the test of doing what is right when no one is watching, but children often need extra help in these regards. Though we see a rare exception with Joseph in Egypt, it is rare for all siblings in a large group to conspire together to some evil without a few of them deflecting and reporting the behaviors to the parents or other authority figures.
  6. To avoid negative peer pressure. It isn’t being overly sheltering to provide your kids solid alternatives to potentially negative community influences. After all, the Savior did say “stand in holy places and be not moved”, and “cast not your pearls before swine”. When he said, “be in the world but not of the world”, this doesn’t mean to throw our kids to the wolves without refuge. When there aren’t many people that would be a positive influence, it’s ok to not be a close friend to negative influences, because you’ll always have your siblings as your close friends. There is so much good fun that we don’t need to bother with the bad fun, and siblings can support each other in that because they have been shown the healthy resources from their parents, and they pass those beautiful traditions and preferences and joys onto the younger siblings. Siblings can support each other as they have similar goals of temple attendance, missionary service, and ultimate residence in the celestial kingdom of God.
  7. To have people who are taught the same standards as you. Your parents will teach the same set of standards to you, so you won’t have to challenge each other’s’ standards. Siblings creates a safe scenario, on this topic, for sleepovers without dangerous situations. Often kids first experiment with drugs, pornography, immorality, and other illicit activities in the late hours of the night with their friends. The night can be a fun time and certainly a time you can spend with friends whom aren’t family at times but having the regular friendship of your siblings allows you to not be envious of the kids who spend most every night partying with their friends. To spend all nights thus is not healthy. There is a lot of room for joy and celebration when there are many siblings.
  8. To refine your character flaws. A single child will never learn how to not settle arguments, how to negotiate in play etc. to the extent which a child of siblings will. The child without siblings can leave a friendship if it is bothersome, but a child with siblings must learn the deep forgiveness required to go on living with someone with whom you sometimes get in arguments with. The child who must frequently live amongst others his age will need to say “I’m sorry” often, and “I forgive you” often. He will learn that he can’t always get what he wants for a meal or a chore or a toy, and that he must learn to mutually persuade others like himself rather than demand some gift. He will learn the divine skill of mercy, as he will frequently be required to administer it to his peers.
  9. To gain compassion for others. A sibling will often be put in a position to care for babies, etc. A person can learn the lessons of serving others as they are repeatedly called on to do so in the home.
  10. To become a great teacher. Having siblings means daily doing homework together and helping each other understand concepts in study and play. Little sessions of play time with children not of your family hardly compare to the great teaching which takes place day after day in the home.
  11. To allow the children to play under the supervision of parents. Often children without siblings want to go off and play elsewhere for long amounts of time on a regular basis. If a child has siblings with whom they can play, they can be happy with less frequent playtime outside of the supervision of the parent. It’s hard to know the standards that will be taught to your children when they are at someone else’s home.
  12. Have peers for homeschool! Homeschool is an excellent to raise faithful and educated children and having peers in the homeschool makes everything more exciting. You don’t have to worry about the negative teaching or negative peer pressure found in public schools as you have a group to learn with and from each other in your home. Homeschool is not right for everyone, but many will find this to be a mighty tool in Zion.
  13. Have someone to do chores with. Children will find more joy in doing household chores and duties if they have other children their age to do those chores with. They can encourage each other and teach each other how to do the tasks. They can look forward to the reward of playtime together as they accomplish their tasks, thus motivating them to complete them faster.
  14. Learn management and leadership. An older sibling, or one of the same age who has a current assignment as a leader for the day or for the chore or something, will learn how to motivate others to work, how to measure others’ work, how to appropriately chastise others for not doing their duties, etc.
  15. President Benson speaks of the well-known wisdom that children who come from larger families are often more well-rounded.
  16. Parents aren’t always available or interested in constantly playing children’s games, so children have each other to entertain.
  17. Parents of large sibling groups have developed more skills in parenting and are less likely to be overly exacting of the children, and less likely to be too enabling of the children. They don’t feel pressure to spoil the child with too much material means because the children are happy playing with each other and spend less time thinking for alternative routes to find joy, such as material/financial outlets. The parent of many siblings will see the wisdom in bringing up well rounded children rather than thinking it necessary to make their one child, their ‘one shot at greatness’, to be some superstar to carry on the glory of their name. Yes, a parent will help each child to be their best, but the parent who has become well rounded by dealing intimately with the many different personalities of different children will help the children to be well rounded also. The parent who has seen various personalities in her children can better discern the personality of her children and support them in their differences instead of trying to mold the child to be a copy of themselves, or a copy of their other sibling, or of some other supposed role model child.
  18. A large family is a small government. It is a place where everyone has responsibilities. The amount of messes that are made are such that the cleaning cannot and should not be expected to all be done by the parents both for the parents’ sake and for the sake of the proper development of the child. Thus, the children will learn to work and cooperate more effectively than the children of small households.
  19. It worked for these guys: George Albert Smith was from a family of 11 children. One of the leading protestant reformers was from a family of 12 children. Many prophets today express wishes that they could have had more than they do. President Nelson had 9, and speaks of how glad he is that he didn’t wait until he could reasonably afford them, as he would be missing half of them. Bach was the youngest of 8. Jacob had 12 (ok they had lots of problems but from them came great things). Joseph Smith had 11. Brigham Young had 56. The list could go on and on.

 

 

 

-A few others I’ve heard since writing this list from an Islamic feminist from a family of 11 children who speaks in favor of large sibling groups (What Islam really says about women | Alaa Murabit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FETryXMpDl8&t=57s):

-learn of power structures

-learn of alliances

-talk fast or say less since will get cut off

-have to ask in the right way to get what you want

-have to learn how to keep the peace

 

This essay focuses on the benefits of large sibling groups for the children. An additional list could be written of the benefits for parents when it comes to having a large posterity. First and foremost of these would be the joy of posterity and the blessings in the kingdom of God for raising them. Even though parenting is rewarding in this life, it will be even more rewarding in the life to come with the weaknesses of the flesh are taken away, and we receive strong bodies and minds which aren’t subject to temptation and weakness. Then our children will forever thank and praise us for the services we have rendered them, and they will assist us in building our kingdoms forever. As your children grow to become chiefs themselves, the growth of their kingdoms will automatically build your kingdom. God is at the head, and all the accomplishments of his children are also attributed to him. So it will be when we become Gods. Some more practical benefits for the parent in having many children are tax breaks, built in babysitters, people to help clean the house, people to help tutor your younglings on reading and other skills, and the children having others to play with them instead of constantly nagging you to play. In the Doctrine and Covenants, Jesus Christ tells us that the more souls we bring to God, the more joy we will have: “Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people. And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father! And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!” (D&C 18:14-16)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Prophets Discourage Anger

 

 

 

 

– “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city” (Proverbs 16:32)

-“Understanding the connection between agency and anger is the first step in eliminating it from our lives. We can choose not to become angry. And we can make that choice today, right now: “I will never become angry again.” Ponder this resolution.” (“Agency and Anger” by Lynn G Robins of the Seventy, General Conference April 1998, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng)

-“Anger is an uncivil attempt to make another feel guilty or a cruel way of trying to correct them. It is often mislabeled as discipline but is almost always counterproductive. Therefore the scriptural warning: “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them,” and “fathers provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:19, 21). ” (“Agency and Anger” by Lynn G Robins of the Seventy, General Conference April 1998, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng)

-“Physical abuse is anger gone berserk and is never justified and always unrighteous. ” (“Agency and Anger” by Lynn G Robins of the Seventy, General Conference April 1998, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng)

-“Nor can becoming angry be justified. In Matthew 5, verse 22, the Lord says: “But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment” (emphasis added). How interesting that the phrase “without a cause” is not found in the inspired Joseph Smith Translation (see Matt. 5:24), nor in the 3 Nephi 12:22 [3 Ne. 12:22] version. When the Lord eliminates the phrase “without a cause,” He leaves us without an excuse. “But this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Ne. 11:30). We can “do away” with anger, for He has so taught and commanded us. ” (“Agency and Anger” by Lynn G Robins of the Seventy, General Conference April 1998, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng)

-“When he missed an easy shot, he became angry and stomped and whined. The coach walked over to him and said, “You pull a stunt like that again and you’ll never play for my team” (23). ” (“Agency and Anger” by Lynn G Robins of the Seventy, General Conference April 1998, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng)

-“In the Joseph Smith Translation of Ephesians 4:26 [Eph. 4:26], Paul asks the question, “Can ye be angry, and not sin?” The Lord is very clear on this issue: “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. “Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away” (3 Ne. 11:29–30). This doctrine or command from the Lord presupposes agency and is an appeal to the conscious mind to make a decision. The Lord expects us to make the choice not to become angry. ” (“Agency and Anger” by Lynn G Robins of the Seventy, General Conference April 1998, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/04/agency-and-anger?lang=eng)

-“May we make a conscious decision, each time such a decision must be made, to refrain from anger and to leave unsaid the harsh and hurtful things we may be tempted to say.” (“School Thy Feelings, O My Brother” by Thomas S Monson, General Conference Oct. 2009, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/school-thy-feelings-o-my-brother?lang=eng)

-“Apropos are the words of the poet John Greenleaf Whittier: “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’ (“Maud Muller,” The Complete Poetical Works of John Greenleaf Whittier(1876), 206.)”” (“School Thy Feelings, O My Brother” by Thomas S Monson, General Conference Oct. 2009, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/school-thy-feelings-o-my-brother?lang=eng)

-““Anger doesn’t solve anything. It builds nothing, but it can destroy everything.” (Lawrence Douglas Wilder, quoted in “Early Hardships Shaped Candidates,” Deseret News, Dec. 7, 1991, A2.)” (“School Thy Feelings, O My Brother” by Thomas S Monson, General Conference Oct. 2009, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/school-thy-feelings-o-my-brother?lang=eng)

-“School thy feelings, O my brother;

Train thy warm, impulsive soul.

Do not its emotions smother,

But let wisdom’s voice control.

School thy feelings; there is power

In the cool, collected mind.

Passion shatters reason’s tower,

Makes the clearest vision blind.” “School Thy Feelings,” Hymns, no. 336

 

-“The story is told that reporters were interviewing a man on his birthday. He had reached an advanced age. They asked him how he had done it. He replied, “When my wife and I were married we determined that if we ever got in a quarrel one of us would leave the house. I attribute my longevity to the fact that I have breathed good fresh air throughout my married life.”” (“Slow To Anger” by Gordon B Hinckley, General Conference October 2007, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/slow-to-anger?lang=eng)

-“Anger may be justified in some circumstances. The scriptures tell us that Jesus drove the moneychangers from the temple, saying, “My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves” (Matthew 21:13). But even this was spoken more as a rebuke than as an outburst of uncontrolled anger.” (“Slow To Anger” by Gordon B Hinckley, General Conference October 2007, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/slow-to-anger?lang=eng)

“To be angry is to yield to the influence of Satan. No one can make us angry. It is our choice. If we desire to have a proper spirit with us at all times, we must choose to refrain from becoming angry. I testify that such is possible.” (“School Thy Feelings, O My Brother” by Thomas S Monson, General Conference Oct. 2009, https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/school-thy-feelings-o-my-brother?lang=eng)

 

 

 

 

Abortion

-“As a servant of the Lord, I dutifully warn those who advocate and practice abortion that they incur the wrath of Almighty God” Russell M. Nelson (“Reverence for life”, April 1985).

 

-The time to choose whether or not you are going to have a child is before sexual intercourse, not when a human is already inside you!
-Why don’t we let the human’s in woman wait until they are 18 years old, a legal adult who can make choices, to decide whether they want to be aborted! Don’t let people make that choice for them! The USA is about human rights, including the rights of infants!
-the 20th Century has been the most blood thirsty one in the history of the world because the USA has killed about 50 million people via abortion; this is more than any other nation today, and more than any other nation in the past! Civilizations have been destroyed by God for less!
-LDS Church says unless it’s a case of rape or incest, abortion is contrary to the law of God.
-3 Nephi 1:12-13 we don’t believe that the spirit enters the body just at the moment of birth. This verse could be Jesus speaking as an infant, there are passages of infants speaking marvelous things. “The Book of Mormon account of Christ speaking to Nephi the grandson of Helaman and saying, ‘On the morrow come I into the world,’ is not intended to infer that the spirit does not enter the body until the moment of the actual birth. Rather this revelation to the Nephites was itself being conveyed in a miraculous and unusual way. Quite probably the one uttering the words was speaking in the first person as though he were Christ, in accordance with the law enabling others to act and speak for Deity on the principle of divine investiture of authority.” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie, Doctrinal New Testament Commentary, 1:85.)
–“Life begins when two germ cells unite to become one cell, bringing together twenty-three chromosomes from both the father and from the mother… The onset of life is not a debatable issue, but a fact of science. Approximately twenty-two days after the two cells have united, a little heart begins to beat. At twenty-six days the circulation of blood begins. Scripture declares that the ‘life of the flesh is in the blood’ (Lev. 17:11).” (Elder Russell M. Nelson, Ensign, May 1985, p. 13.)
– “When the mother feels life come to her infant it is the spirit entering the body.” (President Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses 17:143.)
-the Church is against abortion because the spirit is in the body before birth.
-there is pseudepigrapha from the Aztecs which says that they invented a chemical mechanism to stop women from having babies, and that this was in a list of sins listed in reasons for why they were destroyed as a nation. See Mark Peterson lecture on http://www.latterdayconservative.com downloads section.
-Hillary Clinton said that unborn people don’t have Constitutional rights, but the Constitution says in multiple places that ALL persons have the right to life. It makes no such qualification!
-Elder Anderson of the 12 Apostles at the BYU Education Week gave a speech where he condemned our complacency about how baby body parts are sold for prophet. Where do these baby body parts come from? Abortion agencies like “Planned Parenthood” (Which is funded by our tax dollars)(Which company is also put in mostly black ghetto communities targeting that race because the elites are racist fascists to the core).
-The adoption agencies make you pay a small fee like 50$ when you get an abortion to make you think they are doing you a service, really they make hundreds each time, selling the babies to scientists for experiments and making beauty products. That baby fat when smeared onto a face can make a person look a whole lot younger! Disgusting, I know.
-Yahoo!’s website Parenting ran a column (2015) by Hallie Levine titled “If I Knew My Daughter Had Down Syndrome, I Would Have Aborted Her—All Women Should Have That Right.” (Can you imagine Yahoo! publishing a Parenting column titled “If I Knew My Daughter Would Become a Drug Addict, I Would Have Aborted Her” or “If I Knew My Daughter Would Fail to Reach her Full Potential, I Would Have Aborted Her?” Not too likely, is it?)…, the New York Times jumped into the debate (2015), publishing an op-ed by Mark Lawrence Schrad, a Villanova University political scientist and the pro-choice father of a little girl with Down syndrome. His claim? The Ohio law (banning abortion on mere grounds of foreknowledge of Down Syndrome) would lead to mass social chaos in the form of “increased stresses on the family, bankruptcies and an influx of children with disabilities into orphanages and foster care.” There is a barely detectable element of classism in Schrad’s argument. A sophisticated and relatively well-off college professor can handle raising such a child, you see, but it’s unfair to impose such a burden on the lower classes, already so riven by “stresses on the family” and unlikely to be able to handle raising a deformed baby. Let’s just avoid this unpleasantness, shall we, and bow at the convenient and politically superior altar of choice. …It’s hard not to feel sorry for these parents, so blinded by their faith in the religion of abortion that they fail to see the weird ethical corner they have painted themselves into. “The life of my child has value,” they seem to be saying, “but I can understand why you’d want to kill yours.” (Matthew Hennessay of Connecticut)

 

-Some logic against abortion: Debunking the ‘baby or fetus preference’ debate

…for that fetus versus baby kill question the answer is 0 is the exact same thing as a question which says if you had to kill baby a baby b which would you choose the answer is I would kill myself before I would kill any baby. What the leftist is trying to say in this argument is that not all humans are equal and with a conservative is trying to say is that yes, they are all equal. The leftist still will not confess that a fetus is a baby. It is of interest to note that most conservatives consider it to be just to have an abortion when the life of the mother is at risk that is a more valid question is an abortion Justified when the mother will otherwise die. But even that allotment is dangerous, many women have given their lives in childbirth and there’s probably not very many more honorable ways to die than that. Someone could argue that if we save the mother she can go on to Bear 10 more children and therefore exponentially bless the world but the answer to that argument is that the baby if not aborted can grow up to bring 10 more babies into the world as well you say you cannot make one human life greater than another.

When it comes to rape many women make a brave choice to carry those babies to term and raise them that in my opinion sounds like a very Christ-like thing to do however it would also seem fair to not force the woman to do that because she did not choose to have that baby and the death of that baby is on the head of the rapist not the woman.

Now you begin to see you why Book of Mormon identifies committing adultery as the next-door neighbor to the act of murder itself because committing adultery so often temps people to tell babies to hide their crimes before the world finds out

Using birth control is different than using abortion because birth control acts before the egg and sperm are joined together it prevents the egg and sperm from joining together successfully deactivate or separates either of these from the other. But does this mean that birth control is the miracle drug save the human race and liberates the human race? It would seem the opposite the national sin of refusing to Bear children will bring us to hell. But it remains legal to obtain birth control because at that point in the process you are not killing anyone. So the use of chronic birth control is morally wrong but is not legally wrong because we cannot force people to be good we can only force people to not be evil and other words we can force people to not kill each other but we can’t force people 2 actively do good things.

As for the argument which claims that we should not bring more people into the world because there are already destitute impoverished hungry people in Africa that we apparently can’t take care of, is a flawed argument because when you pull away the fancy dress this argument is really just saying that because some babies are not taking care of we should tell other babies. Finish my personal philosophy that you don’t want there to be more children on this Earth than you do that in other ways than killing children. Killing Mass numbers of people is called genocide and it’s not okay. Anyone who promotes genocide should be locked up in a jail cell because they have demonstrated that they want to kill others and are not safe to be free in society. And anyone who does kill a baby through abortion has committed murder and needs to be treated to the full extent of the law it’s received the same punishment as another murder. An abortion is a quiet secret murder it’s the easiest kind of get away with, but does that make it okay to kill someone? The answer is no. The only times we are just fighting killing someone is when they are trying to kill us, literally trying to kill us literally threatening Our Lives. And this ties back into the rare exceptions we make for women whose baby is about to kill them if they don’t report it that in such instances there may be cases by the mother is morally justified in terminating the child rather than being terminated herself. This is only applicable because of the principle that one human life is not better than another.

The argument that abortion of mentally ill and particularly autistic children should be allowed is flawed because you do not have the choice to make decisions for that human being. Unless that human being is going to kill you you are not allowed to kill it. If you are not interested in this human being to be in your home that’s sad but you can give it to an adoption agency of some kind because every human being would rather live than not lived. I think it would be interesting to wait until a person is 18 years old when they are legal adult and ask them if they want to die. If a person has mental retardation to where they will never become an adult mentally speaking and legally speaking, then this means that they can never consent to be terminated. That’s rather than being the easiest Target a mentally ill person should be the most safeguarded human being on this planet.

 

Modern Prophets Discourage Delaying Childbirth

-“Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons. Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife. Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children. Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God.” (LDS Topics section of Official Church Website https://www.lds.org/topics/print/birth-control)
-“Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son are, by nature, creators. As the sons and daughters of God, we have the potential to become like Them. The Father and the Son have entrusted us with a portion of Their creative power and provided specific guidelines for the proper use of that sacred ability to create life and establish an eternal family. How we feel about and use that sacred power in this life will determine in large measure whether additional creative power will be ours in the life to come.” (By Elder David A. Bednar Area Authority Seventy From a devotional address given at Ricks College on 11 January 2000. Published also in the Ensign, September 2001 see https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)
-early in the church, the need to have children raised in homes where the gospel is was so desperate, that we practiced polygamy. I was in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) and they had us stand up if we had polygamist ancestors. At least half of the large congregation of missionaries stood. The speaker said, “That is why we practiced polygamy.” Today we don’t do polygamy, but the principle remains that blessed is the child who is raised in a home where the gospel is. Recall what Joseph Smith said, “a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.” (see LDS.org Guide to the Scriptures: Sacrifice; https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/sacrifice?lang=eng)
-“In the eternal perspective, the blessings obtained by sacrifice are greater than anything that is given up.” (see LDS.org Guide to the Scriptures: Sacrifice; https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/sacrifice?lang=eng)
-Prophets have said that raising a righteous family in and of itself is enough to qualify parents for the Celestial Kingdom highest degree
-you never know when you’ll be barren, so get them while you can.
– “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.” (“Children” Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
-Prophets have taught that the only people you rule over in eternity are your own children. They teach that Heavenly Father rules over not a single person other than his own posterity.
-God said you’ll have joy in the day of the Lord if you have children;
-God said if you bring many souls to me how much greater will be your joy than if you just bring one
-Grandma had 13 and was able to influence all of them just fine.
-when around others they learn to be more independent and not hanging on parents all the time
-when around those with similar values, a child is more likely to thrive. You can’t trust the baby sitters of other families. You need older children of your own to be the baby sitters.
-Brian when could not find people with similar values to play with just played with his siblings; they have always been there for him
-the families with 2 children whose personalities clash are worse off, as they’ll turn to other families’ children for association. Children are bond to argue with each other, and if they have other siblings to go to in those cases, similar to their age and gender, they’ll be less likely to turn to other families for their needs.
-they need one on one time with parents? Yes, but not that much! They are happy as can be to be of the community of the family, and studies show that children from larger families are more balanced and strong overall (see talk by President Benson quoted later in this article)
-President Benson has said that children from small families are less balanced and healthy than children from large families overall.
-the idea of “quality not quantity” I do reject! You think you can change the worth of a child by the amount of money you shove down his throat? That sounds diabolical to me! No you don’t want to have the government pay for your children; be responsible, but at the same time don’t get lost in these ideas of “salvation by opportunity”.  No, God gives to all what he deems fit for them
-Joseph Smith said that it is LUDACRIS to consider that we shall dwell where God the Father and the Son are without having gone through extremely difficult things. Parenthood is a refiner’s fire!
-President Kimball was speaking to a couple in mourning for being barren, not being able to have children. He told them that they are better off than the people who can have them but don’t.
-when the cry of the 2nd Coming comes, there is no time for preparation.  (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)
– President Kimball saw heaven in the temple where the 8th of 8 children was being sealed to a spouse. The man thought himself unsuccessful in life, but it was one of the greatest success stories I’d ever heard. (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)
-President Kimball saw heaven in a home where a Navajo family barren unable to have children, had adopted 18 orphans. (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)
-President Kimball saw heaven another time with in a home with mismatched chairs and old worn rugs and many children home all cooperated in interdependence, they didn’t apologize for the meal furniture or children. This was great to see in our day of only 1-2 children in a home, and they oft spoiled and bratty. The woman wasn’t one that people would paint a portrait of, but had handsome well picked clothes, and kept hair, and a smile. The man was a working man.  (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)
-can’t handle tons of kids? Remember what President Eyring says, “I can’t be a perfect servant every hour, but I can do better than I thought I could.” Also, hire some maids! In this sense, it’s better for a man to get a good paying job more so than a degree in family sciences. Let him have a job which can afford his wife to stay at home and raise the children where possible.
-“As we look into the eyes of a child, we see a fellow son or daughter of God who stood with us in the premortal life. It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children. When a child is born to a husband and wife, they are fulfilling part of our Heavenly Father’s plan to bring children to earth. The Lord said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39) Before immortality, there must be mortality. The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father’s plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture reads, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.”(Genesis 1:28) In our day prophets and apostles have declared, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”(“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129.) This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (According to the annual American Community Survey, released by the U.S. Census Bureau, “Utah still has the nation’s largest households, highest fertility rate, lowest median age, youngest age at marriage and most stay-at-home moms” (“Who Are Utahns? Survey Shows We’re Highest, Lowest, Youngest,” Salt Lake Tribune, Sept. 22, 2011, A1, A8).) We express deep gratitude for the enormous faith shown by husbands and wives (especially our wives) in their willingness to have children. When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions—decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.” (“Children” Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
–“Where once the standards of the Church and the standards of society were mostly compatible, now there is a wide chasm between us, and it’s growing ever wider. …
“The Savior of mankind described Himself as being in the world but not of the world. We also can be in the world but not of the world as we reject false concepts and false teachings and remain true to that which God has commanded.” (April 2011 Gen. Conf., Pres. Thomas S. Monson; quoted in talk “Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
-“Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family.” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
-“As the world increasingly asks, “Are these all yours?” we thank you for creating within the Church a sanctuary for families, where we honor and help mothers with children. To a righteous father, there are no words sufficient to express the gratitude and love he feels for his wife’s incalculable gift of bearing and caring for their children.” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
-“Elder Mason had another experience just weeks after his marriage that helped him prioritize his family responsibilities. He said: “Marie and I had rationalized that to get me through medical school it would be necessary for her to remain in the workplace. Although this was not what we [wanted] to do, children would have to come later. [While looking at a Church magazine at my parents’ home,] I saw an article by Elder Spencer W. Kimball, then of the Quorum of the Twelve, [highlighting] responsibilities associated with marriage. According to Elder Kimball, one sacred responsibility was to multiply and replenish the earth. My parents’ home was [close to] the Church Administration Building. I immediately walked to the offices, and 30 minutes after reading his article, I found myself sitting across the desk from Elder Spencer W. Kimball.” (This wouldn’t be so easy today.) “I explained that I wanted to become a doctor. There was no alternative but to postpone having our family. Elder Kimball listened patiently and then responded in a soft voice, ‘Brother Mason, would the Lord want you to break one of his important commandments in order for you to become a doctor? With the help of the Lord, you can have your family and still become a doctor. Where is your faith?’” Elder Mason continued: “Our first child was born less than a year later. Marie and I worked hard, and the Lord opened the windows of heaven.” The Masons were blessed with two more children before he graduated from medical school four years later.9 Across the world, this is a time of economic instability and financial uncertainty. In April general conference, President Thomas S. Monson said: “If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions.” (Thomas S. Monson, Liahona and Ensign, May 2011, 67.) Elder Kimball’s piercing question, “Where is your faith?” turns us to the holy scriptures. It was not in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve bore their first child. Leaving the garden, “Adam [and Eve] began to till the earth. … Adam knew his wife, and she [bore] … sons and daughters, and [acting in faith] they began to multiply and to replenish the earth.” (Moses 5:1, 2) It was not in their Jerusalem home, with gold, silver, and precious things, that Lehi and Sariah, acting in faith, bore their sons Jacob and Joseph. It was in the wilderness. Lehi spoke of his son Jacob as “my first-born in the days of my tribulation in the wilderness.” (2 Nephi 2:1) Lehi said of Joseph, “Thou wast born in the wilderness of [our] afflictions; yea, in the days of [our] greatest sorrow did thy mother bear thee.”13 (2 Nephi 3:1) In the book of Exodus, a man and woman married and, acting in faith, had a baby boy. There was no welcoming sign on the front door to announce his birth. They hid him because Pharaoh had instructed that every newborn male Israelite should be “cast into the river.” (Exodus 1:22) You know the rest of the story: the baby lovingly laid in a little ark made of bulrushes, placed in the river, watched over by his sister, found by Pharaoh’s daughter, and cared for by his own mother as his nurse. The boy was returned to Pharaoh’s daughter, who took him as her son and called him Moses. In the most beloved story of a baby’s birth, there was no decorated nursery or designer crib—only a manger for the Savior of the world. In “the best of times [and] … the worst of times,” (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (Signet Classic, 1997), 13.) the true Saints of God, acting in faith, have never forgotten, dismissed, or neglected “God’s commandment … to multiply and replenish the earth.” (Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129.) We go forward in faith—realizing the decision of how many children to have and when to have them is between a husband and wife and the Lord. We should not judge one another on this matter. The bearing of children is a sensitive subject that can be very painful for righteous women who do not have the opportunity to marry and have a family. To you noble women, our Heavenly Father knows your prayers and desires. How grateful we are for your remarkable influence, including reaching out with loving arms to children who need your faith and strength. The bearing of children can also be a heartbreaking subject for righteous couples who marry and find that they are unable to have the children they so anxiously anticipated or for a husband and wife who plan on having a large family but are blessed with a smaller family. We cannot always explain the difficulties of our mortality. Sometimes life seems very unfair—especially when our greatest desire is to do exactly what the Lord has commanded. As the Lord’s servant, I assure you that this promise is certain: “Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities, [as] they keep the covenants they have made with God.” (Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 1.3.3.) ” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
-“Brothers and sisters, we should not be judgmental with one another in this sacred and private responsibility. “And [Jesus] took a child … in his arms [and] said … “Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth … him that sent me.”(Mark 9:36–37) What a wonderful blessing we have to receive sons and daughters of God into our home. Let us humbly and prayerfully seek to understand and accept God’s commandments, reverently listening for the voice of His Holy Spirit. Families are central to God’s eternal plan. I testify of the great blessing of children and of the happiness they will bring us in this life and in the eternities, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”  (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)
-4 Nephi 1:10 One of the marks of a righteous civilization is that they “multiply exceedingly fast”. They love each other and know what they have should be promulgated throughout the earth every way possible. Have children, lots of them, and don’t wait around about it. This “multiplying exceedingly fast” is recorded just before the record that they became “an exceedingly fair and delightsome people”. Why did they become thus? Because they multiplied exceedingly fast. It’s not the only factor, but it is nevertheless a critical factor.  “children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps. 127:3) “the Lord thy God…he will do thee good, and multiply thee above thy fathers” (Deut. 30:5) “I, the Lord God said: I will greatly multiply thy…conception…thou shalt bring forth children” (Moses 4:22; Gen. 3:16) stars … So shall thy seed be: Gen. 15:5 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Ex. 32:13 ; Deut. 1:10 ; Heb. 11:12 . ) I will multiply thy seed exceedingly: Gen. 16:10 . ( Gen. 26:24 ; Josh. 24:10 . ) thou shalt be a father of many nations: Gen. 17:4 . ( Gen. 48:4 ; Rom. 4:18 . ) she shall be a mother of nations: Gen. 17:16 . in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed: Gen. 22:18 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Gen. 28:14 ; Acts 3:25 ; 1 Ne. 15:18 ; 1 Ne. 22:9 ; D&C 124:58 . ) make thy seed as the sand of the sea: Gen. 32:12 .
-Psalm 127: 3–5 Isaiah 54:13 D&C 68:25–28 Moses 2:27–28 these are scriptures on not postponing children taken from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 10. https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf
-The ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity. —Elder Dallin H. Oaks from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf
-President Joseph F. Smith “Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligations with respect to motherhood, and they are obligations that cannot be disregarded without invoking divine displeasure. In 1 Timothy 2:13–15, we are told that ‘Adam was first formed, then Eve. . . .’ Can she be saved without child-bearing? She indeed takes an awful risk if she wilfully disregards what is a pronounced requirement of God” (Gospel Doctrine, 288–89). (from page 14 Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)
-President David O. McKay “Love realizes his sweetest happiness and his most divine consummation in the home where the coming of children is not restricted, where they are made most welcome, and where the duties of parenthood are accepted as a co-partnership with the eternal Creator. “In all this, however, the mother’s health should be guarded. In the realm of wifehood, the woman should reign supreme” (Gospel Ideals, 469). (Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)
-President Spencer W. Kimball “Tomorrow when I repeat the phrases that will bind you for eternity, I shall say the same impressive words that the Lord said to that handsome youth and his lovely bride in the Garden of Eden: ‘Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.’ . . . “. . . You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits. . . . And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work” (“John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, June 1975, 8). “Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor—that of the bearing and rearing of children. Too many young people set their minds, determining they will not marry or have children until they are more secure, until the military service period is over; until the college degree is secured; until the occupation is more well-defined; until the debts are paid; or until it is more convenient. They have forgotten that the first commandment is to ‘be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.’ (Genesis 1:28.) And so brides continue their employment and husbands encourage it, and contraceptives are used to prevent conception. Relatives and friends and even mothers sometimes encourage birth control for their young newlyweds. But the excuses are many, mostly weak. The wife is not robust; the family budget will not feed extra mouths; or the expense of the doctor, hospital, and other incidentals is too great; it will disturb social life; it would prevent two salaries; and so abnormal living prevents the birth of children. The Church cannot approve nor condone the measures which so greatly limit the family” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 328–29).
-“Brothers and sisters, both the Church’s temples and our personal temples must be used to accomplish the righteous purposes for which they were created. Our physical body is a marvelous blessing and a timeless trust. The most sacred of all our divine powers is to become a co-creator with Heavenly Father in providing physical bodies for His spirit sons and daughters and in establishing a righteous and Christ-centered family. Nothing is more holy; nothing deserves more reverence; nothing is more central to the plan of happiness. And our very souls are at stake. I hope we now better understand why “to receive a physical body” is the first element of the answer to the important question “Why are we here on earth?” The doctrines Lucifer works most diligently to distort and attack are the ones that really matter the most to us individually, to our families, and to the world. The great plan of happiness requires that each of us obtain a physical body and makes possible a forever family. Consider the popular philosophy that many voices in our modern world would persuade us to believe: “Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin” (2 Ne. 28:8). Such an ideology is a lie inspired by the great deceiver. Where is the adversary presently directing his most direct and diabolical attacks? Upon our beliefs about and uses of the physical body and upon the family. Remember, Satan does not have a body and he cannot have a family. He desires that all of us would become miserable like unto himself. And he relentlessly works to distort the two doctrines he hates the most.” (Sep. 2001; “Ye Are the Temple of God” By Elder David A. Bednar, Area Authority Seventy; https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)
-“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? … It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can (DBY, 197).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“Many of the sisters grieve because they are not blessed with offspring. You will see the time when you will have millions of children around you. If you are faithful to your covenants, you will be mothers of nations (DBY,200).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“The world teaches birth control. Tragically, many of our sisters subscribe to its pills and practices when they could easily provide earthly tabernacles for more of our Father’s children. We know that every spirit assigned to this earth will come, whether through us or someone else. There are couples in the Church who think they are getting along just fine with their limited families but who will someday suffer the pains of remorse when they meet the spirits that might have been part of their posterity. The first commandment given to man was to multiply and replenish the earth with children. That commandment has never been altered, modified, or canceled. The Lord did not say to multiply and replenish the earth if it is convenient, or if you are wealthy, or after you have gotten your schooling, or when there is peace on earth, or until you have four children. The Bible says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: “. . . Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. . .” (Ps. 127:3, 5.) We believe God is glorified by having numerous children and a program of perfection for them. So also will God glorify that husband and wife who have a large posterity and who have tried to raise them up in righteousness.” (President Ezra Taft Benson Conference Report, April 1969, Pg.12)
As parents, what is our attitude regarding the sacred obligations of parenthood? One of the major purposes of marriage is children. Nations which refuse to accept this God-given obligation sink into oblivion. Will our sons and daughters want children because of our attitude and example? (So Shall Ye Reap, p. 106.)
We can’t build a happy home, we can’t build a happy married life, on the foundation of immorality. It can’t be done. So I would beseech our young people to reserve for the marriage relationship those sweet and lovely and intimate associations. Not only that, but when those associations come, let them be primarily for the purpose of procreation, for the having of a family, because it is not pleasing in the sight of God to enjoy the pleasures of those associations and refuse to accept the responsibility of parenthood. (God, Family, Country, pp. 196-97.)
Do not postpone the blessings of honorable parenthood following marriage. When God said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, He didn’t insert any provisions. (London Area Conference, 19-20 June 1976.)
A modern trend is to rationalize the commandment to procreate, saying that the earth cannot support this great number of unrestricted births, or that it is not financially possible to support a great number of children today. The Lord said to the Prophet Joseph, referring to the productive capacity of the earth, “For the earth is full and there is enough and to spare” (D&C 104:17). (Miami, Florida, 19 March 1976.)
A major reason why there is famine in some parts of the world is because evil men have used the vehicle of government to abridge the freedom that men need to produce abundantly. True to form, many of the people who desire to frustrate God’s purposes of giving mortal tabernacles to His spirit children through worldwide birth control are the very same people who support the kinds of government that perpetuate famine. They advocate an evil to cure the results of the wickedness they support. (CR April 1969, Improvement Era 72 [June 1969]: 44.)
…Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)
The undue postponement of parenthood is bound to bring disappointment and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Yes, of course, one can always find excuses. The young husband is going through school. I know how difficult it is. I remember our first year of married life on seventy dollars a month for both of us. I thank the Lord for my noble companion and her fervent determination to put first things first.
It thrills me to witness young couples where the husband is struggling through medical school or dental school or some other school and they have the courage and strength and the faith to know that in some way the God of Heaven will assist them if they do their duty and have their families.
So, I would ask our young people to think seriously about these things, pray about them, fast about them. The Lord will give them the answers, because He wants them to have the blessings of a righteous posterity. Sometimes marriage may be postponed to the point where, for physical and other reasons, parenthood is denied. Oh, what a loss when the time comes! It is worth practically any sacrifice to have those sweet spirits come into the home and to have them come early, that the parents might enjoy them for a longer period, that they might enjoy their parents for a longer period, and that the children might enjoy their grandparents for a longer period. (God, Family, Country, pp. 197-98.)
…consider these words seriously when you think of those political leaders who are promoting birth control and abortion: “O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12; 2 Nephi 13:12). Let me warn the sisters in all seriousness that you who submit yourselves to an abortion or to an operation that precludes you from safely having additional healthy children are jeopardizing your exaltation and your future membership in the kingdom of God. (God, Family, Country, p. 224.)
We realize that some women, through no fault of their own, are not able to bear children. To these lovely sisters, every prophet of God has promised that they will be blessed with children in the eternities and that posterity will not be denied them. Through pure faith, pleading prayers, fasting, and special priesthood blessings, many of these same lovely sisters, with their noble companions at their sides, have had miracles take place in their lives and have been blessed with children. Others have prayerfully chosen to adopt children, and to these wonderful couples we salute you for the sacrifices and love you have given to those children you have chosen to be your own. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)
…I know the special blessings of a large and happy family, for my dear parents had a quiver full of children (Psalm 127:5). Being the oldest of eleven children, I saw the principles of unselfishness, mutual cooperation, loyalty to each other, and a host of other virtues developed in a large and wonderful family with my noble mother as the queen of that home.
Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, “We will wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we have obtained a few of the material conveniences,” and on and on. This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing of children.
Do not curtail the number of children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children — not possessions, not position, not prestige — are our greatest jewels. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)) (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, Pg. 539-43)
-“…Providing opportunity for the spirit children of our Father in Heaven to come to earth and work out their own salvation is one of our sacred privileges and obligations. We teach that among the choicest of eternal riches are children. ” (President Heber J. Grant Gospel Standards, Pg.154)
-“God established families. The Lord organized the whole program in the beginning with a father who procreates, provides, and loves and directs, and a mother who conceives and bears and nurtures and feeds and trains. The Lord could have organized it otherwise but chose to have a unit with responsibility and purposeful associations where children train and discipline each other and come to love, honor, and appreciate each other. The family is the great plan of life as conceived and organized by our Father in Heaven.
To any thoughtful person it must be obvious that intimate association without marriage is sin; that children without parenthood and family life is tragedy; that society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness and oblivion.
…do not limit your family as the world does.
Don’t think you will love the later ones less or have fewer material things for them. Perhaps, like Jacob, you might love the eleventh one most. Young folk, have your family, love them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and happy all the days of your eternal lives.
Have large families regardless of social norms. In America and elsewhere in the world, the family limitation program is gaining much strength. Latter-day Saints do not believe in this. We believe in following the admonition of the Lord in having large families and rearing them righteously. We hope that our Latter-day Saints will not trade children for accommodation and luxury.
When you go to the temple for sealing, you will note that the Lord continues to command his people to live this commandment. It is not easy. It is much easier to limit the family to one or two, but great blessings come to those who struggle through the years with the small children. When they have reared them righteously, they will have crowns throughout eternity. The time will come when those men and women who have neglected their duties because they wanted luxuries will be very jealous of the joys and happiness of those who sacrificed in the early years of marriage. Certainly we do not just wish to bring children in the world and turn them loose to go wild. We must rear them in righteousness. Generally, you will find that the people that come from the large families are generally the best trained and the most faithful.
Motherhood and fatherhood are primary. Now, it is wise for every young woman to be grateful for her womanhood and her privilege to create, with her husband and the Eternal God as her partners. To be a mother, to be a wife of a good man — what a great joy! While she is waiting for that holy, sacred hour, let her be happy and content to develop her mind and accumulate knowledge and prepare herself emotionally and spiritually for the happy times.
For the young man, his education is important, his mission vital; but his proper marriage and his proper life to be a righteous father and to properly provide for and give leadership to a family — that is wonderful, a wonderful role in life to play.
Motherhood is a noble work. Motherhood is a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s work, a consecration and devotion to the rearing and fostering, the nurturing of body, mind, and spirit of those who kept their first estate and who came to this earth for their second estate to learn and be tested and to work toward godhood.
Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord’s spirit children, and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments. Could there be a more sacred trust than to be a trustee for honorable, well-born, well-developed children?
So our beloved mother Eve began the human race with gladness, wanting children, glad for the joy that they would bring to her, willing to assume the problems connected with a family, but also the joys.
To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be tenfold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home — which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.
I wish to say without equivocation that a woman will find no greater satisfaction and joy and peace and make no greater contribution to mankind than in being a wise and worthy woman and raising good children.
When we sing that doctrinal hymn and anthem of affection, “O My Father,” we get a sense of the ultimate in maternal modesty, of the restrained, queenly elegance of our heavenly mother, and knowing how profoundly our mortal mothers have shaped us here, do we suppose her influence on us as individuals to be less if we live so as to return there?
God has placed women at the very headwaters of the human stream. So much of what our men and our institutions seek to do downstream in the lives of erring individuals is done to compensate for early failures. Likewise, so much of life’s later rejoicing is a reflection of a woman’s work well done at the headwaters of the home.
Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously wait.
When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved, your accomplishments supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy through time and eternity of your sisters who have spent themselves in selfish pursuits.
Technology frees time for better child rearing. Today’s women, especially in the United States and some other countries, have ease, comfort, leisure, conveniences, and time, such as no other women in history have had.
What has she done with her new-found liberties and freedoms and opportunities and time? Has she perfected her own life? Is she more dutiful and faithful to her reduced home duties than was her great-grandmother with her multiplicity of arduous ones? Is today’s woman a better wife to her husband? Is the modern, electrically driven home of today a happier haven of refuge than the four walls of the last centuries? Is she today a better, more congenial neighbor than yesterday’s woman? Does she have more children now that she has more time, better facilities, and more help? Does she train her children better than her ancestors did? Does she herself have more faith and piety than the women of old? And does she better instill into her children the faith which will make gods of them?
God bless the women, the wonderful women of every time and age and place, who establish first in their lives their Lord, his work, and their families.
Women who are deliberately childless will regret it. I am not sorry for women who sacrifice their lives for children. I am not sorry for those women who have many children. But I am sorry … for women who come to the Judgment Day who have never assumed the responsibility of rearing children, who have been afraid of pain, resistant to sacrifice. They are the ones whose hearts will be heavy.
I know there are many women who could not have children — God bless them!
Childbearing should not be delayed for convenience. After marriage young wives should be occupied in bearing and rearing children. I know of no scriptures or authorities which authorize young wives to delay their families or to go to work to put their husbands through college. Young married couples can make their way and reach their educational heights, if they are determined.
Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor — that of the bearing and rearing of children…
How do you suppose that the Lord would look upon a man and a woman whose marriage seems to be largely for the purpose of living together and sex gratification without the responsibilities of marriage? How do you think that the Lord looks upon those who use the contraceptives because in their selfish life it is not the convenient moment to bear children? How do you feel the Lord looks upon those who would trade flesh-and-blood children for pianos or television or furniture or an automobile, and is this not actually the case when people will buy these luxuries and yet cannot afford to have their children? Are there not numerous people who first buy the luxury article and then find they cannot pay the doctor or a hospital bill incident to childbirth? How do you think the Lord feels about women who forego the pleasures and glories of motherhood that they might retain their figures, that their social life might not be affected, that they might avoid the deprivations, pains, and agonies of childbearing and berthing? How do you think the Lord feels as he views healthy parents who could have children but who deliberately close the doors by operation or by contraceptives, close the doors upon spirits eager to enter into mortal bodies?
Not everyone can have children. We realize, of course, there are some women who cannot have children, some men who cannot reproduce. The Lord will take care of all that if we have done everything in our power, if we have done what we could to make ourselves normal and productive and to follow the commandments of the Lord.
Few couples need remain childless. Men and women who have been unable to have children should build their faith. Many a barren woman like Sarah has had children through special blessings of the Lord. She was blessed in having a son — a son to a barren woman.
Sometimes operations or adjustments or hormones may make parenthood possible. Frequently fears and frictions and tenseness are causes for barrenness and sterility. Such people should do everything in their power to put themselves in a position to have their babies. Adoption of parentless children brings joy to many hearts. Few, if any, parents need be childless through their years.
Mother’s health should he considered. In family life, men must and should be considerate of their wives, not only in the bearing of children, but in caring for them through childhood. The mother’s health must be conserved, and the husband’s consideration for his wife is his first duty, and self-control a dominant factor in all their relationships.
Sterilization as a medical measure is a serious personal responsibility. On … sterilization or other surgery to prevent conception … the Church has felt that it was the individual responsibility of the couple; and while the Church leaves it to the individual to determine whether the ill health of the mother is sufficient to warrant the surgery which would make pregnancy impossible, yet it is a definite personal responsibility. In your case, since the surgery has already been completed, it cannot be undone, so it must be accepted as a fact and life can go on. Both parents should give themselves totally and fully to the rearing of their six children which they now have in a loving home with ideal surroundings.
Sterilization to avoid the inconvenience of children is sinful. We marry for eternity. We are serious about this. We become parents and bring wanted children into the world and rear and train them to righteousness.
We are aghast at the reports of young people going to surgery to limit their families and the reputed number of parents who encourage this vasectomy. Remember that the coming of the Lord approaches, and some difficult-to-answer questions will be asked by a divine Judge who will be hard to satisfy with silly explanations and rationalizations. He will judge justly, you may be sure.
Sterilization and tying of tubes and such are sins, and except under special circumstances it cannot be approved.
The world can provide for growing population. Many people, some of them innocently caught up in the whirlpool of delusion errors, are worrying about the earth failing to provide for the oncoming generations. They take such means to influence the thinking of the people and repeat it so often that many of us were gullible and accepted it. We tend to believe what the world says. We often do not even ask what the Lord’s program is.”
(The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, Pg. 324-31)
-“It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so.” (President Spencer W. Kimball Conference Report, April 1979, Pg. 6)
-“Paul speaks of continence—a word almost forgotten by our world. Still in the dictionary, it means self-restraint, in sexual activities especially. Many good people, being influenced by the bold spirit of the times, are now seeking surgery for the wife or the husband so they may avoid pregnancies and comply with the strident voice demanding a reduction of children. It was never easy to bear and rear children, but easy things do not make for growth and development. But loud, blatant voices today shout “fewer children” and offer the Pill, drugs, surgery, and even ugly abortion to accomplish that. Strange the proponents of depopulating the world seem never to have thought of continence!” (President Spencer W. Kimball Conference Report, April 1971, Pg. 7)
-“[W]e declare it is a grievous sin before God to adopt restrictive measures in disobedience to God’s divine command from the beginning of time to “multiply and replenish the earth.” Surely those who project such measures to prevent life or to destroy life before or after birth will reap the whirlwind of God’s retribution, for God will not be mocked. (President Harold B. Lee CR1972Oct:63)
-“Seeking the pleasure of conjugality without a willingness to assume the responsibilities of rearing a family is one of the onslaughts that now batter at the structure of the American home. Intelligence and mutual consideration should be ever-present factors in determining the coming of children to the home.” (President David O. McKay Conference Report, April 1969, Pg.5-6)
-“True motherhood is the noblest call of the world, and we look with sorrow upon the practice here in our own United States of limiting families, a tendency creeping into our own Church.” (President David O. McKay Church News, June 11, 1952)
-“When the husband and wife are healthy, and free from inherited weaknesses and diseases that might be transmitted with injury to their offspring the use of contraceptives is to be condemned. (President David O. McKay Conference Report, October 1943, Pg. 30)
-“I regret, I think it is a crying evil, that there should exist a sentiment or a feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. I think that is a crime wherever it occurs, where husband and wife are in possession of health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity. I believe that where people undertake to curtail or prevent the birth of their children that they are going to reap disappointment by and by. I have no hesitancy in saying that I believe this is one of the greatest crimes of the world today, this evil practice. (President Joseph F. Smith Relief Society Magazine, Vol. 4, June 1917, Pg. 314)
-“Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fullness of joy, and if we will obtain a fullness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires — life eternal.” (President Joseph F. Smith Gospel Doctrine, Pg. 276)
-“THE BLESSINGS OF BIRTH INTO MORTALITY. Nothing should be held in greater sacredness and honor than the covenant by which the spirits of men — the offspring of God in the spirit — are privileged to come into this world in mortal tabernacles. It is through this principle that the blessing of immortal glory is made possible. The greatest punishment ever given was proclaimed against Lucifer and his angels. To be denied the privilege of mortal bodies forever is the greatest curse of all. These spirits can have no progress, no hope of resurrection and eternal life! Doomed are they to eternal misery for their rebellion!
And then to think that we are not only privileged, but also commanded to assist our Father in the great work of redemption by giving to his children, as we have obtained these blessings ourselves, the right to live and continue on even to perfection! No innocent soul should be condemned to come into this world under a handicap of illegitimacy. Every child has the right to be well born! Every individual who denies them that right is guilty of a mortal sin.
The importance of these mortal tabernacles is apparent from the knowledge we have of eternal life. Spirits cannot be made perfect without the body of flesh and bones. The body and its spirit are brought to immortality and the blessings of salvation through the resurrection. After the resurrection there can be no separation again, body and spirit become inseparably connected that man may receive a fullness of joy. In no other way, other than birth into this life and the resurrection, can spirits become like our Eternal Father.
MAN COMMANDED TO BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY. The obligations which married couples take upon themselves should conform in every particular to the commandments given by the Lord.
In the beginning, the Lord said when he gave Eve to Adam, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.” This earth was created for the very purpose that the spirit children of our Father might have the privilege of the temporal existence, receiving bodies of flesh and bones as tabernacles for the spirits which occupy them, and then, through the atonement of Jesus Christ, receive the resurrection in which the spirit and the body become inseparably connected so that man may live again. . . .
Marriage is an eternal covenant, not to come to an end as taught so generally throughout the world when the covenanting parties are dead, but to endure forever. The real purpose of life is that the spirits of men thus clothed in bodies of flesh and bones may, through obedience to the gospel, come back into the presence of the Father and the Son, to receive the fullness of exaltation,
The Lord has revealed that when a man and a woman are married according to his law, children born to them will be theirs throughout all eternity.
The covenant given to Adam to multiply was renewed after the flood with Noah and his children after him. The Lord said to Noah: “And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying. And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you.”
This covenant is still binding, although mankind has departed from the way of eternal life and has rejected the covenant of marriage which the Lord revealed.
BIRTH CONTROL IS WICKEDNESS. The abuse of this holy covenant has been the primary cause for the downfall of nations. When the sacred vows of marriage are broken and the real purpose of marriage abused, as we find it so prevalent in the world today, then destruction is inevitable.
No nation can endure for any length of time, if the marriage covenants are abused and treated with contempt. The anger of the Almighty was kindled against ancient nations for their immorality. There is nothing that should be held in greater sacredness than this covenant by which the spirits of men are clothed with mortal tabernacles.
When a man and a woman are married and they agree, or covenant, to limit their offspring to two or three, and practice devices to accomplish this purpose, they are guilty of iniquity which eventually must be punished. Unfortunately this evil doctrine is being taught as a virtue by many people who consider themselves cultured and highly educated. It has even crept in among members of the Church and has been advocated in some of the classes within the Church.
It should be understood definitely that this kind of doctrine is not only not advocated by the authorities of the Church, but also is condemned by them as wickedness in the sight of the Lord.
President Joseph F. Smith has said in relation to this question: “Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fullness of joy, and if we will obtain a fullness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires — eternal life.”
SPIRITS DESIRE BIRTH IN RIGHTEOUS FAMILIES. President Brigham Young has this to say about birth control, an abomination practiced by so-called civilized nations, but nations who have forsaken the ways of life:
“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.”
If these iniquitous practices find their place in our hearts and we are guilty, then when we arrive on the other side — and discover that we have deprived ourselves of eternal blessings and are accused by those who were assigned to come to us, because, as President Young has said, they were forced to take bodies in the families of the wicked — how will we feel? Moreover, may we not lose our own salvation if we violate this divine law?
BIRTH CONTROL LEADS TO DAMNATION. …
When young people marry and refuse to fulfill this commandment given in the beginning of the world — and just as much in force today — they rob themselves of the greatest eternal blessing. If the love of the world and the wicked practices of the world mean more to a man and a woman than to keep the commandment of the Lord in this respect, then they shut themselves off from the eternal blessing of increase. Those who willfully and maliciously design to break this important commandment shall be damned. They cannot have the Spirit of the Lord.
Small families is the rule today. Husbands and wives refuse to take upon themselves the responsibilities of family life. Many of them do not care to be bothered with children. Yet this commandment given to Adam has never been abrogated or set aside. If we refuse to live by the covenants we make, especially in the house of the Lord, then we cannot receive the blessings of those covenants in eternity. If the responsibilities of parenthood are willfully avoided here, then how can the Lord bestow upon the guilty the blessings of eternal increase? It cannot be, and they shall be denied such blessings.”
(President Joseph Fielding Smith Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 2, Pg. 85-9)
-“If we notice the situation of the nations of Europe at the present time, we see the land burdened with an overplus population, and groaning beneath its inhabitants, while the greatest industry, perseverance, economy, and care, do not suffice to provide for the craving wants of nature. And so fearfully does this prevail in many parts, that parents are afraid to fulfill the first great law of God, “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth;” and by desperate circumstances are almost forced to the unnatural wish of not propagating their species; while, corrupted with a correspondent depravity with that which reigns among nations, they are found using suicidal measures to prevent an otherwise numerous progeny from increasing their father’s misery, and inheriting his misfortunes. And yet, while this is the case, there are immense districts of rich soil, covering millions of square miles, inhabited only by a few untutored savages, or the wild beast of the forest; and such is the infatuation of man that in many districts of country, which were once the seats of the most powerful empires, and where flourished the mightiest nations, there is nothing but desolation and wildness. Such are Ninevah and Babylon, on the Asiatic Continent; and Otolum, and many others discovered by Stephens and Catherwood, in Central America; and recently discovered ruins — unequaled in the old world — a little above the head of the California Gulf. Not only their cities, but their lands are desolate, deserted, and forsaken, and the same evils that once existed there are transferred to another soil, all bespeaking plainly that we want a great, governing, ruling principle to regulate the affairs of the world, and assist poor, feeble, erring humanity.” (President John Taylor The Government of God, Chapter 2)
-“…This is the reason why the doctrine of plurality of wives was revealed, that the noble spirits which are waiting for tabernacles might be brought forth. (President Brigham Young Discourses of Brigham Young, Pg.197)
-“To check the increase of our race has its advocates among the influential and powerful circles of society in our nation and in other nations. The same practice existed forty-five years ago, and various devices were used by married persons to prevent the expenses and responsibilities of a family of children, which they must have incurred had they suffered nature’s laws to rule preeminent. That which was practiced then in fear and against reproving conscience, is now boldly trumpeted abroad as one of the best means of ameliorating the miseries and sorrows of humanity. Infanticide is very prevalent in our nation. It is a crime that comes within the purview of the law, and is therefore not so boldly practiced as is the other equally great crime, which, no doubt, to a great extent, prevents the necessity of infanticide. The unnatural style of living, the extensive use of narcotics, the attempts to destroy and dry up the fountains of life, are fast destroying the American element of the nation; it is passing away before the increase of the more healthy, robust, honest, and less sinful class of the people which are pouring into the country daily from the Old World. The wife of the servant man is the mother of eight or ten healthy children, while the wife of his master is the mother of one or two poor, sickly children, devoid of vitality and constitution, and, if daughters, unfit, in their turn, to be mothers, and the health and vitality which nature has denied them through the irregularities of their parents are not repaired in the least by their education. (President Brigham Young Journal of Discourses, Vol. 12, Pg. 120-21)
-“Now I think you bishops, you presidents of stakes, and you presidents of the quorums of the priesthood, ought to consider these things (speaking of God’s command that we have children) most carefully, and be prepared to teach the people that which the Lord would have them taught, and when our teachers go to visit them in their homes, let them teach the revelations of the Living God and magnify their callings.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Conference Report, October 1946, pp. 35-39) (http://scriptures.byu.edu/gettalk.php?ID=253)

—feedback and response:

One brought up issues of women’s health, women’s desires other than childbearing, the earth being over populated, etc. This is my response:

Thanks for your thoughts. I think there is much work to be done in the foster program, if you’re from Utah, they’re hurting for foster and adoptive parents. That’s one way to not tax the mother’s health so much. Further, as we serve God and obey him, he will reveal sciences of health, so women can, like Eve, bear 52 children (said Brigham Young regarding Eve). As for the earth is full argument, I think there is sufficient grounds in the D&C to side step that one. I agree that each woman should make her own choice in this matter, and that if a woman feels very inclined to have a career and smaller family, it could be God’s will for her at that time. As for having children before finishing school, my mission president counseled us to not set barriers to marriage such as degrees savings jobs etc. I feel it is good council – it’s not a life of luxury, but it can work. In a recent conference report titled “Children” Elder Anderson spoke of President Kimball admonishing a medical school student to not put off this commandment of childbearing. Students can save money in the summer for tuition, work during school, etc. Sometimes the mother can supplement the income while the father watches the children and studies, etc. As for the math of not sustaining everyone having 12, first the saints are less than 1% of the population and they are who this is geared toward, and second there’s space exploration. If we serve God and please him, he will open the way for millions of earths to be inhabited. That issue doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I foresee a soon approaching millennium where families are given high priority and the great sciences of creation are better understood so we can hasten the work of salvation and exaltation!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exponential Exaltation via Childbearing

 

 

Evidence of the Superior Individual Global Impact of bearing a Large Posterity

 

-for exclusive arithmetical evidence (the core of this theory) not featured on this page, see attached Excel Document here:

Exponential Exaltation Theory by Nate Richardson, Updated 2-17-18, RichardsonStudies.com

 

I’ve calculated 6 generations (240 years) into the future
to show the amount of impact you would have with your efforts alone
vs your efforts combined with your posterity’s efforts to bless the human race.
Further, we analyze the logically based theological implications of large posterity.

I’ve taken into account the cost of time spent child rearing (CR) in calculating overall non-CR related service to humanity. Though some say that CR is inherently good for the human race, I’ll show that even those who prefer saving the human race in other methods will further their cause exponentially further and faster by spending a portion of their life contribution in CR.

I’ve done calculations of various scenarios, manipulating variables such as number of posterity, the tendency for posterity to multiply at standard of 3 regardless of how many you raise, the scenario of posterity not repopulating at all, the tendency of 1/3 of posterity to not contribute, etc.

-Naturally, the most humane course of action is to give the max service once can to the human race.
-Should you give your entire life to a good cause, not letting child rearing (CR) get in the way, or should you give part of your life to a good cause and another part to CR?
-Hypothesis: Service to the human race is exponentialized & maximized via using the majority of your adult service in the CR field (where possible).

-If you give all of your adult life toward a special cause to increase world peace, you’ve given the equivalent of a lifetime of service to better the world.
If you give 1/2 of your adult life toward a special cause to increase world peace, you’ve give the equivalent of half a lifetime of service to better the world.
But if you give 1/2 to increase world peace, and 1/2 to raising a child, that child will grow up and give 1/2 to world peace, and your fruits will equal a lifetime of service to better the world.
But then the child you raised raises more children…

-Divinity consists of 2 factors: 1.Benevolence 2. Increase.
The large posterity theory expedites both aspects.

  1. Benevolence:
    a. It’s benevolent to help others experience life by birthing and training them
    b. Though you’ll have less time for non-CR benevolent projects the more children you raise, the combined efforts of your posterity will be exponentially larger than what you could have given even if you spent all your time in the good non-CR cause of your choice.
    c. Results in Chart A show that the more children you have, the more service you give to the human race, even when only spending 10% of your adult life in a non-child rearing good service.
    d. Because of item 6, even if CR isn’t innately good service, it leads to more good non-CR service than courses which exclude or limit CR.
    e. This means if a scientist etc. wants to promote science etc. for the good of the human race, he will study science etc., and have as many children as he can.
    f. The united efforts of the scientist’s etc. children will advance science etc. further than he could alone with his mere 100 years of mortal existence.
    g. Some may say, “but my 1 lifetime of non-CR related benevolent service will exponentially increase, since any good creates an eternal ripple effect of good.” This is true, but the more lives of service you give (via increasing CR), the more eternal ripples you create.
  2. Increase:
    a. The more children you raise the larger the exponent of their increase through time.
    b. To be exalted, lets estimate that you need enough children to justify creating an earth whereon they may dwell.
    c. One site estimates 108 billion people have lived on this earth.
    d. The larger your posterity, the more exponential your growth.
    e. Weather your posterity is large or small, you’ll still be exalted if righteous.
    f. The larger posterity, the sooner your growth will reach exaltation quotas.
    g. God’s work and his glory are seeing to our exaltation and eternal life (Moses 1:39). How does God increase in glory? Having more children, & helping them advance.
    h. Our mortal posterity not only add to God’s eternal kingdom, but to our eternal kingdom, our posterity having joint residence in our eternal kingdom and Gods’ eternal kingdom. Thus it’s urgent to have children now, not just as resurrected persons later.
    For a detailed explanation of item 2h, see my document “Children: An Inheritance from The Lord: What and Why is a Parent Now and In Eternity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chart pasted here, not sure if all is visible in this format, this appears to be a screen shot of the chart, so REDO THE FORMAT.

 

 

 

(redo that excel doc)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Family Creation Analogous to The Fall and Atonement: Path to Salvation

-Here we define “Family Creation” as 1. marriage and 2. childbearing
-We often speak of the Fall of Adam & Eve as a fall “forward”. It was a good thing. That is a core doctrine of the restored gospel. They were stuck and the only way to advance was to fall forward, and praise God that they did so!
-I speak of another fall forward needed to get us going somewhere in life. That is marriage.
-There are many people whom you could marry, that doesn’t matter so much who you marry, but
what you do after you marry. Most divorces are not from selecting the wrong person, but from
failure to maintain the marriage. Like a car, it needs maintenance.
-Don’t worry about looks too much, in the resurrection will come the beauty, and the greatest beauty comes to the most righteous. Brigham Young taught that those who reach exaltation will become as beautiful as the angels that surround the throne of God.
-Mission Presidents are council ed not to say the 6 months after mission deadline for marriage, but the general council from church leaders on marriage is that it should not be postponed. Your next mission after your church mission is your soul mission, namely to get married.
-I would say it’s a good idea to have a general idea of pulling the trigger on marriage near
the 21st year for men, and near the 19th year for women. The spirit can righteously dictate other things like med school for women etc. etc. but I suggest a regular standard for society to be near these ages unless the person is righteously prompted otherwise. I further suggest delaying family creation is dangerous if done for selfish reasons. Men are the proposers, but women can also help expedite the process by presenting themselves as available. This is not done through immodesty, that is the way of the world to present oneself for mating. The Lords way is by
expressing interest in someone. I for one, generally speaking, married the woman who was most interested in me, who loved me the most. Who manifested trust and willingness to follow my lead. There is not one right person for you to marry, but there is one right way to marry, and that is the Lord’s way in the temple. Usually there are more than one perfectly viable option, leaving you with some room to make your own selection among multiple equally wonderful candidates.
-I also had prayed for a wife and the Lord presented a qualified candidate promptly, so I
proposed, we married a few months later, and we’re happy with many adopted children. I
returned from a mission a few months before my 22nd birthday, engaged before my 22nd birthday, and married shortly after it.
-Your case may be different, but one thing is certain: don’t put restraints on the Lord. Tell
him that you’ll be willing to create a family as soon as viable opportunities present
themselves. Don’t insist to him that you require a certain degree, salary, knowledge base,
position or possession before marriage. Elder Holland and President Hinckley have related that at the time of their marriage they only had a few hundred dollars saved up. If money is your worry, know that married people are wiser with money than single people generally speaking.
-It doesn’t much matter who you marry, marry someone with faith in the Lord and a testimony of the restoration in the Lords house; but other than that, any of Gods children can be
compatible as they live the gospel together. Marriage is like the Fall of Adam: it needs to
happen for things to get going. Sure you won’t pick the perfect person because the perfect
doesn’t exist, but pick and get on with it. Marriage is about building each other. No building will really take place until marriage. Running around playing games with different persons is minimally helpful to yourself or society or the kingdom of God. If you have anxiety about picking the right person so you please the Lord, remember the Lord loves all his children, and you really can’t go wrong so long as you marry a faithful member of the church. Divorces do happen in those marriages, but it is rare. Use your best judgement but don’t damn your progress by remaining in this limbo any longer than reasonable. Remember the Lord doesn’t give a spirit of fear. In the book To The Rescue about President Monson, he submits that he wishes he would have married earlier. He had met Francis years before marrying her and wishes he had proposed earlier. The longer you, Adam and Eve, wait around in Eden, the worse. Everyone and everything is waiting for you to make the fall forward, get this rolling. There are risks, danger, pain, depression, chaos, drama, that’s why we call it the fall. But there is no other way. This is Holiness to the Lord.
-Children didn’t come from natural means and fertility specialists failed us time and again, so we became foster parents. I wish we certified earlier knowing now the great joy it brings, but it wasn’t until about the 3rd year of our marriage that occurred. A few months after
certification, 4 children came to our home whom we adopted. A 5th was adopted a few months
after that a 5th came and was adopted and sealed to us. Generally speaking the foster programs are in dire need for parents, and it’s a wonderful way to attempt living the law of
consecration.
-Are you ready for Calvary, for Golgotha? Marriage is an atonement, a preparatory atonement
for the greatest atonement we will perform, saving our children. A prophet has said that anyone can go on a mission and preach the gospel, but the true challenge is the raise a righteous family. When Christ was doing his atonement, meaning giving all he could as was required of him, he asked “why?” He said in essence, Father, let this pass if possible. This is harder than I could have ever imagined. Never the less he partook and finished. Even so will you in your sacrifice of giving all you can as asked of you. You are willing, but your flesh is weak. Are you ready for Golgotha? No, you’re not. But you’ll go anyway. Great leaders have taught that showing up is 90% of success, there is some truth to this. Show up and be willing, no matter how daunting. Family creation is both heaven and hell. Like the song of Reaching the Impossible Dream, you must be willing to march through hell for a heavenly cause. It will rake your soul, figuring out at one ment with your spouse and children, but it’s the path to salvation.
-Some call marriage the atonement of men, and this is very true in many ways. However, there
is a critical aspect of marriage which many neglect which is a fundamental part of that
atonement. We refer here to childbearing. Social studies show that married adults are better
off economically, and in every other way. It makes sense to marry when you’re doing pleasure
calculations. Its child bearing when things get more difficult. Child bearing is also where
the greatest heights of pleasure are found, but the pleasure of child rearing is a pearl of
great price hidden in a field, largely unknown and unappreciated by the world, though not
unknown and underappreciated in the Lord’s church.
-For an article suggesting a scenario where even earlier family creation is fathomable, see my article “Early Marriage and Parenthood Theory”

-For an article suggesting that childbearing exponentially increases the service you give to the world and expedites one’s exaltation, see “Exponential Exaltation Theory”

 

 

 

 

 

Birth Control

Warning: use official church manuals to find official church doctrine on this topic. These statements represent council but not necessarily doctrines of the church. For example, the Bishop handbook says not to council couples on when to have children or how many to have and that sex is for not only reproduction but also functions as a tool for marital unity. Birth control is not outlawed by the Church of Jesus Christ. However, one must consider whether he is ignoring the divine mandate to ‘multiply and replenish the earth’.

-4 Nephi 1:10 One of the marks of a righteous civilization is that they “multiply exceedingly fast”. They love each other and know what they have should be promulgated throughout the earth every way possible. Have children, lots of them, and don’t wait around about it. This “multiplying exceedingly fast” is recorded just before the record that they became “an exceedingly fair and delightsome people”. Why did they become thus? Because they multiplied exceedingly fast. It’s not the only factor, but it is nevertheless a critical factor. “children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps. 127:3) “the Lord thy God…he will do thee good, and multiply thee above thy fathers” (Deut. 30:5) “I, the Lord God said: I will greatly multiply thy…conception…thou shalt bring forth children” (Moses 4:22; Gen. 3:16) stars … So shall thy seed be: Gen. 15:5 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Ex. 32:13 ; Deut. 1:10 ; Heb. 11:12 . ) I will multiply thy seed exceedingly: Gen. 16:10 . ( Gen. 26:24 ; Josh. 24:10 . ) thou shalt be a father of many nations: Gen. 17:4 . ( Gen. 48:4 ; Rom. 4:18 . ) she shall be a mother of nations: Gen. 17:16 . in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed: Gen. 22:18 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Gen. 28:14 ; Acts 3:25 ; 1 Ne. 15:18 ; 1 Ne. 22:9 ; D&C 124:58 . ) make thy seed as the sand of the sea: Gen. 32:12 .

-Psalm 127: 3–5 Isaiah 54:13 D&C 68:25–28 Moses 2:27–28 these are scriptures on not postponing children taken from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 10. https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

-The ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity. —Elder Dallin H. Oaks from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

-“Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons.

Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife.

Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children. Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God.” (LDS Topics section of Official Church Website https://www.lds.org/topics/print/birth-control)

-see also http://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Birth_Control

–“We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into a herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine’s body to having none.
All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 181).

-“Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son are, by nature, creators. As the sons and daughters of God, we have the potential to become like Them. The Father and the Son have entrusted us with a portion of Their creative power and provided specific guidelines for the proper use of that sacred ability to create life and establish an eternal family. How we feel about and use that sacred power in this life will determine in large measure whether additional creative power will be ours in the life to come.” (By Elder David A. Bednar Area Authority Seventy From a devotional address given at Ricks College on 11 January 2000. Published also in the Ensign, September 2001 see https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)

-early in the church, the need to have children raised in homes where the gospel is was so desperate, that we practiced polygamy. I was in the MTC (Missionary Training Center) and they had us stand up if we had polygamist ancestors. At least half of the large congregation of missionaries stood. The speaker said, “That is why we practiced polygamy.” Today we don’t do polygamy, but the principle remains that blessed is the child who is raised in a home where the gospel is. Recall what Joseph Smith said, “a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has the power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.” (see LDS.org Guide to the Scriptures: Sacrifice; https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/sacrifice?lang=eng)

-“In the eternal perspective, the blessings obtained by sacrifice are greater than anything that is given up.” (see LDS.org Guide to the Scriptures: Sacrifice; https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/sacrifice?lang=eng)

-Prophets have said that raising a righteous family in and of itself is enough to qualify parents for the Celestial Kingdom highest degree

-you never know when you’ll be barren, so get them while you can.

–“One of the ‘plain and precious’ truths restored in this dispensation is that ‘the spirit and the body are the soul of man’ (D&C 88:15) and that when the spirit and body are separated, men and women ‘cannot receive a fulness of joy’ (D&C 93:34). That is the reason why obtaining a body is so fundamentally important in the first place, why sin of any kind is such a serious matter (namely because it is sin that ultimately brings both physical and spiritual death), and why the resurrection of the body is so central to the great triumph of Christ’s Atonement. The body is an essential part of the soul. This distinctive and very important Latter-day Saint doctrine underscores why sexual sin is so serious. We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life, ‘the very key’ (Elder Holland of the 12 Apostles in Conference Report, Apr. 1972, 139; or Ensign, July 1972, 113) (Also quoted by Elder David A. Bednar Area Authority Seventy From a devotional address given at Ricks College on 11 January 2000. Published also in the Ensign, September 2001 see https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)

– “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.” (“Children” Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

-Prophets have taught that the only people you rule over in eternity are your own children. They teach that Heavenly Father rules over not a single person other than his own posterity.

-God said you’ll have joy in the day of the Lord if you have children;

-God said if you bring many souls to me how much greater will be your joy than if you just bring one

-Grandma had 13 and was able to influence all of them just fine.

-when around others they learn to be more independent and not hanging on parents all the time

-when around those with similar values, a child is more likely to thrive. You can’t trust the baby sitters of other families. You need older children of your own to be the baby sitters.

-Brian when could not find people with similar values to play with just played with his siblings; they have always been there for him

-the families with 2 children whose personalities clash are worse off, as they’ll turn to other families’ children for association. Children are bond to argue with each other, and if they have other siblings to go to in those cases, similar to their age and gender, they’ll be less likely to turn to other families for their needs.

-they need one on one time with parents? Yes, but not that much! They are happy as can be to be of the community of the family, and studies show that children from larger families are more balanced and strong overall (see talk by President Benson quoted later in this article)

-President Benson has said that children from small families are less balanced and healthy than children from large families overall.

-the idea of “quality not quantity” I do reject! You think you can change the worth of a child by the amount of money you shove down his throat? That sounds diabolical to me! No you don’t want to have the government pay for your children; be responsible, but at the same time don’t get lost in these ideas of “salvation by opportunity”. No, God gives to all what he deems fit for them

-Joseph Smith said that it is LUDACRIS to consider that we shall dwell where God the Father and the Son are without having gone through extremely difficult things. Parenthood is a refiner’s fire!

-President Kimball was speaking to a couple in mourning for being barren, not being able to have children. He told them that they are better off than the people who can have them but don’t.

-when the cry of the 2nd Coming comes, there is no time for preparation. (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)

– President Kimball saw heaven in the temple where the 8th of 8 children was being sealed to a spouse. The man thought himself unsuccessful in life, but it was one of the greatest success stories I’d ever heard. (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)

-President Kimball saw heaven in a home where a Navajo family barren unable to have children, had adopted 18 orphans. (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)

-President Kimball saw heaven another time with in a home with mismatched chairs and old worn rugs and many children home all cooperated in interdependence, they didn’t apologize for the meal furniture or children. This was great to see in our day of only 1-2 children in a home, and they oft spoiled and bratty. The woman wasn’t one that people would paint a portrait of, but had handsome well picked clothes, and kept hair, and a smile. The man was a working man. (see President Spencer W. Kimball, in book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle”)

-can’t handle tons of kids? Remember what President Eyring says, “I can’t be a perfect servant every hour, but I can do better than I thought I could.” Also, hire some maids! In this sense, it’s better for a man to get a good paying job more so than a degree in family sciences. Let him have a job which can afford his wife to stay at home and raise the children where possible.

-“As we look into the eyes of a child, we see a fellow son or daughter of God who stood with us in the premortal life. It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children. When a child is born to a husband and wife, they are fulfilling part of our Heavenly Father’s plan to bring children to earth. The Lord said, “This is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39) Before immortality, there must be mortality. The family is ordained of God. Families are central to our Heavenly Father’s plan here on earth and through the eternities. After Adam and Eve were joined in marriage, the scripture reads, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.”(Genesis 1:28) In our day prophets and apostles have declared, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.”(“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129.) This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (According to the annual American Community Survey, released by the U.S. Census Bureau, “Utah still has the nation’s largest households, highest fertility rate, lowest median age, youngest age at marriage and most stay-at-home moms” (“Who Are Utahns? Survey Shows We’re Highest, Lowest, Youngest,” Salt Lake Tribune, Sept. 22, 2011, A1, A8).) We express deep gratitude for the enormous faith shown by husbands and wives (especially our wives) in their willingness to have children. When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. These are sacred decisions—decisions that should be made with sincere prayer and acted on with great faith.” (“Children” Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

–“Where once the standards of the Church and the standards of society were mostly compatible, now there is a wide chasm between us, and it’s growing ever wider. …

“The Savior of mankind described Himself as being in the world but not of the world. We also can be in the world but not of the world as we reject false concepts and false teachings and remain true to that which God has commanded.” (April 2011 Gen. Conf., Pres. Thomas S. Monson; quoted in talk “Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

-“Many voices in the world today marginalize the importance of having children or suggest delaying or limiting children in a family.” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

-“As the world increasingly asks, “Are these all yours?” we thank you for creating within the Church a sanctuary for families, where we honor and help mothers with children. To a righteous father, there are no words sufficient to express the gratitude and love he feels for his wife’s incalculable gift of bearing and caring for their children.” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

-“Elder Mason had another experience just weeks after his marriage that helped him prioritize his family responsibilities. He said: “Marie and I had rationalized that to get me through medical school it would be necessary for her to remain in the workplace. Although this was not what we [wanted] to do, children would have to come later. [While looking at a Church magazine at my parents’ home,] I saw an article by Elder Spencer W. Kimball, then of the Quorum of the Twelve, [highlighting] responsibilities associated with marriage. According to Elder Kimball, one sacred responsibility was to multiply and replenish the earth. My parents’ home was [close to] the Church Administration Building. I immediately walked to the offices, and 30 minutes after reading his article, I found myself sitting across the desk from Elder Spencer W. Kimball.” (This wouldn’t be so easy today.) “I explained that I wanted to become a doctor. There was no alternative but to postpone having our family. Elder Kimball listened patiently and then responded in a soft voice, ‘Brother Mason, would the Lord want you to break one of his important commandments in order for you to become a doctor? With the help of the Lord, you can have your family and still become a doctor. Where is your faith?’” Elder Mason continued: “Our first child was born less than a year later. Marie and I worked hard, and the Lord opened the windows of heaven.” The Masons were blessed with two more children before he graduated from medical school four years later.9 Across the world, this is a time of economic instability and financial uncertainty. In April general conference, President Thomas S. Monson said: “If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions.” (Thomas S. Monson, Liahona and Ensign, May 2011, 67.) Elder Kimball’s piercing question, “Where is your faith?” turns us to the holy scriptures. It was not in the Garden of Eden that Adam and Eve bore their first child. Leaving the garden, “Adam [and Eve] began to till the earth. … Adam knew his wife, and she [bore] … sons and daughters, and [acting in faith] they began to multiply and to replenish the earth.” (Moses 5:1, 2) It was not in their Jerusalem home, with gold, silver, and precious things, that Lehi and Sariah, acting in faith, bore their sons Jacob and Joseph. It was in the wilderness. Lehi spoke of his son Jacob as “my first-born in the days of my tribulation in the wilderness.” (2 Nephi 2:1) Lehi said of Joseph, “Thou wast born in the wilderness of [our] afflictions; yea, in the days of [our] greatest sorrow did thy mother bear thee.”13 (2 Nephi 3:1) In the book of Exodus, a man and woman married and, acting in faith, had a baby boy. There was no welcoming sign on the front door to announce his birth. They hid him because Pharaoh had instructed that every newborn male Israelite should be “cast into the river.” (Exodus 1:22) You know the rest of the story: the baby lovingly laid in a little ark made of bulrushes, placed in the river, watched over by his sister, found by Pharaoh’s daughter, and cared for by his own mother as his nurse. The boy was returned to Pharaoh’s daughter, who took him as her son and called him Moses. In the most beloved story of a baby’s birth, there was no decorated nursery or designer crib—only a manger for the Savior of the world. In “the best of times [and] … the worst of times,” (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (Signet Classic, 1997), 13.) the true Saints of God, acting in faith, have never forgotten, dismissed, or neglected “God’s commandment … to multiply and replenish the earth.” (Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129.) We go forward in faith—realizing the decision of how many children to have and when to have them is between a husband and wife and the Lord. We should not judge one another on this matter. The bearing of children is a sensitive subject that can be very painful for righteous women who do not have the opportunity to marry and have a family. To you noble women, our Heavenly Father knows your prayers and desires. How grateful we are for your remarkable influence, including reaching out with loving arms to children who need your faith and strength. The bearing of children can also be a heartbreaking subject for righteous couples who marry and find that they are unable to have the children they so anxiously anticipated or for a husband and wife who plan on having a large family but are blessed with a smaller family. We cannot always explain the difficulties of our mortality. Sometimes life seems very unfair—especially when our greatest desire is to do exactly what the Lord has commanded. As the Lord’s servant, I assure you that this promise is certain: “Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities, [as] they keep the covenants they have made with God.” (Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 1.3.3.) ” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

-“Brothers and sisters, we should not be judgmental with one another in this sacred and private responsibility. “And [Jesus] took a child … in his arms [and] said … “Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth … him that sent me.”(Mark 9:36–37) What a wonderful blessing we have to receive sons and daughters of God into our home. Let us humbly and prayerfully seek to understand and accept God’s commandments, reverently listening for the voice of His Holy Spirit. Families are central to God’s eternal plan. I testify of the great blessing of children and of the happiness they will bring us in this life and in the eternities, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.” (“Children” by Elder Anderson, Conf. Report, Oct. 2011; https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng)

-4 Nephi 1:10 One of the marks of a righteous civilization is that they “multiply exceedingly fast”. They love each other and know what they have should be promulgated throughout the earth every way possible. Have children, lots of them, and don’t wait around about it. This “multiplying exceedingly fast” is recorded just before the record that they became “an exceedingly fair and delightsome people”. Why did they become thus? Because they multiplied exceedingly fast. It’s not the only factor, but it is nevertheless a critical factor. “children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps. 127:3) “the Lord thy God…he will do thee good, and multiply thee above thy fathers” (Deut. 30:5) “I, the Lord God said: I will greatly multiply thy…conception…thou shalt bring forth children” (Moses 4:22; Gen. 3:16) stars … So shall thy seed be: Gen. 15:5 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Ex. 32:13 ; Deut. 1:10 ; Heb. 11:12 . ) I will multiply thy seed exceedingly: Gen. 16:10 . ( Gen. 26:24 ; Josh. 24:10 . ) thou shalt be a father of many nations: Gen. 17:4 . ( Gen. 48:4 ; Rom. 4:18 . ) she shall be a mother of nations: Gen. 17:16 . in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed: Gen. 22:18 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Gen. 28:14 ; Acts 3:25 ; 1 Ne. 15:18 ; 1 Ne. 22:9 ; D&C 124:58 . ) make thy seed as the sand of the sea: Gen. 32:12 .

-Psalm 127: 3–5 Isaiah 54:13 D&C 68:25–28 Moses 2:27–28 these are scriptures on not postponing children taken from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 10. https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

-The ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity. —Elder Dallin H. Oaks from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

-President Joseph F. Smith “Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligations with respect to motherhood, and they are obligations that cannot be disregarded without invoking divine displeasure. In 1 Timothy 2:13–15, we are told that ‘Adam was first formed, then Eve. . . .’ Can she be saved without child-bearing? She indeed takes an awful risk if she willfully disregards what is a pronounced requirement of God” (Gospel Doctrine, 288–89). (from page 14 Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)

-President David O. McKay “Love realizes his sweetest happiness and his most divine consummation in the home where the coming of children is not restricted, where they are made most welcome, and where the duties of parenthood are accepted as a co-partnership with the eternal Creator. “In all this, however, the mother’s health should be guarded. In the realm of wifehood, the woman should reign supreme” (Gospel Ideals, 469). (Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)

-President Spencer W. Kimball “Tomorrow when I repeat the phrases that will bind you for eternity, I shall say the same impressive words that the Lord said to that handsome youth and his lovely bride in the Garden of Eden: ‘Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.’ . . . “. . . You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits. . . . And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work” (“John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, June 1975, 8). “Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor—that of the bearing and rearing of children. Too many young people set their minds, determining they will not marry or have children until they are more secure, until the military service period is over; until the college degree is secured; until the occupation is more well-defined; until the debts are paid; or until it is more convenient. They have forgotten that the first commandment is to ‘be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.’ (Genesis 1:28.) And so brides continue their employment and husbands encourage it, and contraceptives are used to prevent conception. Relatives and friends and even mothers sometimes encourage birth control for their young newlyweds. But the excuses are many, mostly weak. The wife is not robust; the family budget will not feed extra mouths; or the expense of the doctor, hospital, and other incidentals is too great; it will disturb social life; it would prevent two salaries; and so abnormal living prevents the birth of children. The Church cannot approve nor condone the measures which so greatly limit the family” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 328–29).

-“The body that has been given to us was for the purpose of allowing the spirit to exalt itself to a nobler condition. The lightning that is seen flashing from cloud to cloud, from mountain top to mountain top, is an electrical force that may tear down buildings, set fire to property, and destroy life. Conduct electricity through the dynamo wire, and motor, and behold its wonderful results working for the service of man, accomplishing something under the control of a physical instrument, it thus becomes a power for good. So with steam, if allowed to evaporate freely it does little good, but restrain it in the boiler, send it through the engine, and under its power you may travel across the continent or sail from shore to shore. And so, too, with this highest, most potent of all spiritual forces, the intelligence that is in man; enshrine it in a spiritual body, that it may have the experiences of spiritual life; and then give it a physical body, that it may enter into and obtain the joy and experiences of physical life, and you have enlarged its powers immeasurably” (Elder Melvin J. Ballard (1873–1939), a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in Conference Report, Oct. 1912, 107).

-“Brothers and sisters, both the Church’s temples and our personal temples must be used to accomplish the righteous purposes for which they were created. Our physical body is a marvelous blessing and a timeless trust. The most sacred of all our divine powers is to become a co-creator with Heavenly Father in providing physical bodies for His spirit sons and daughters and in establishing a righteous and Christ-centered family. Nothing is more holy; nothing deserves more reverence; nothing is more central to the plan of happiness. And our very souls are at stake. I hope we now better understand why “to receive a physical body” is the first element of the answer to the important question “Why are we here on earth?” The doctrines Lucifer works most diligently to distort and attack are the ones that really matter the most to us individually, to our families, and to the world. The great plan of happiness requires that each of us obtain a physical body and makes possible a forever family. Consider the popular philosophy that many voices in our modern world would persuade us to believe: “Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin” (2 Ne. 28:8). Such an ideology is a lie inspired by the great deceiver. Where is the adversary presently directing his most direct and diabolical attacks? Upon our beliefs about and uses of the physical body and upon the family. Remember, Satan does not have a body and he cannot have a family. He desires that all of us would become miserable like unto himself. And he relentlessly works to distort the two doctrines he hates the most.” (Sep. 2001; “Ye Are the Temple of God” By Elder David A. Bednar, Area Authority Seventy; https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)

-“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? … It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can (DBY, 197).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)

-“Many of the sisters grieve because they are not blessed with offspring. You will see the time when you will have millions of children around you. If you are faithful to your covenants, you will be mothers of nations (DBY,200).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)

–More on this topic: See Boyd K. Packer, “‘Ye Are the Temple of God” Ensign, Nov. 2000, 72–74; John S. Tanner, “The Body as a Blessing” Ensign, July 1993, 7–11; Russell M. Nelson, “The Magnificence of Man” Ensign, Jan. 1988, 64–69., see also President Boyd K Packer, “The Fountain of Life”

( https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

for the address see http://www.podfeed.net/episode/The+Fountain+of+Life+Boyd+K.+Packer/1761621

or http://www.byutv.org/watch/f6816669-24fc-46d3-ae39-2b5d085ea5ce/byu-devotional-address-boyd-k-packer-32992)

-“The world teaches birth control. Tragically, many of our sisters subscribe to its pills and practices when they could easily provide earthly tabernacles for more of our Father’s children. We know that every spirit assigned to this earth will come, whether through us or someone else. There are couples in the Church who think they are getting along just fine with their limited families but who will someday suffer the pains of remorse when they meet the spirits that might have been part of their posterity. The first commandment given to man was to multiply and replenish the earth with children. That commandment has never been altered, modified, or canceled. The Lord did not say to multiply and replenish the earth if it is convenient, or if you are wealthy, or after you have gotten your schooling, or when there is peace on earth, or until you have four children. The Bible says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: “. . . Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. . .” (Ps. 127:3, 5.) We believe God is glorified by having numerous children and a program of perfection for them. So also will God glorify that husband and wife who have a large posterity and who have tried to raise them up in righteousness.” (President Ezra Taft Benson Conference Report, April 1969, Pg.12)

As parents, what is our attitude regarding the sacred obligations of parenthood? One of the major purposes of marriage is children. Nations which refuse to accept this God-given obligation sink into oblivion. Will our sons and daughters want children because of our attitude and example? (So Shall Ye Reap, p. 106.)

We can’t build a happy home, we can’t build a happy married life, on the foundation of immorality. It can’t be done. So I would beseech our young people to reserve for the marriage relationship those sweet and lovely and intimate associations. Not only that, but when those associations come, let them be primarily for the purpose of procreation, for the having of a family, because it is not pleasing in the sight of God to enjoy the pleasures of those associations and refuse to accept the responsibility of parenthood. (God, Family, Country, pp. 196-97.)

Do not postpone the blessings of honorable parenthood following marriage. When God said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, He didn’t insert any provisions. (London Area Conference, 19-20 June 1976.)

A modern trend is to rationalize the commandment to procreate, saying that the earth cannot support this great number of unrestricted births, or that it is not financially possible to support a great number of children today. The Lord said to the Prophet Joseph, referring to the productive capacity of the earth, “For the earth is full and there is enough and to spare” (D&C 104:17). (Miami, Florida, 19 March 1976.)

A major reason why there is famine in some parts of the world is because evil men have used the vehicle of government to abridge the freedom that men need to produce abundantly. True to form, many of the people who desire to frustrate God’s purposes of giving mortal tabernacles to His spirit children through worldwide birth control are the very same people who support the kinds of government that perpetuate famine. They advocate an evil to cure the results of the wickedness they support. (CR April 1969, Improvement Era 72 [June 1969]: 44.)

…Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)

The undue postponement of parenthood is bound to bring disappointment and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Yes, of course, one can always find excuses. The young husband is going through school. I know how difficult it is. I remember our first year of married life on seventy dollars a month for both of us. I thank the Lord for my noble companion and her fervent determination to put first things first.

It thrills me to witness young couples where the husband is struggling through medical school or dental school or some other school and they have the courage and strength and the faith to know that in some way the God of Heaven will assist them if they do their duty and have their families.

So, I would ask our young people to think seriously about these things, pray about them, fast about them. The Lord will give them the answers, because He wants them to have the blessings of a righteous posterity. Sometimes marriage may be postponed to the point where, for physical and other reasons, parenthood is denied. Oh, what a loss when the time comes! It is worth practically any sacrifice to have those sweet spirits come into the home and to have them come early, that the parents might enjoy them for a longer period, that they might enjoy their parents for a longer period, and that the children might enjoy their grandparents for a longer period. (God, Family, Country, pp. 197-98.)

…consider these words seriously when you think of those political leaders who are promoting birth control and abortion: “O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12; 2 Nephi 13:12). Let me warn the sisters in all seriousness that you who submit yourselves to an abortion or to an operation that precludes you from safely having additional healthy children are jeopardizing your exaltation and your future membership in the kingdom of God. (God, Family, Country, p. 224.)

We realize that some women, through no fault of their own, are not able to bear children. To these lovely sisters, every prophet of God has promised that they will be blessed with children in the eternities and that posterity will not be denied them. Through pure faith, pleading prayers, fasting, and special priesthood blessings, many of these same lovely sisters, with their noble companions at their sides, have had miracles take place in their lives and have been blessed with children. Others have prayerfully chosen to adopt children, and to these wonderful couples we salute you for the sacrifices and love you have given to those children you have chosen to be your own. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)

Some well-known persons advocate drastic steps by government action to limit population growth. They contend that the world must stabilize its population, or many must starve. In short, the only course that can save mankind from disaster lurking just around the corner is the worldwide adoption by government of population restriction policies.

This, I firmly believe, is an unrealistic and dangerous oversimplification. It is inconceivable to me that the problem of food and people either will, or can, be solved in this way. For one thing, the right to marry and have a family, and to determine the size of one’s family in accordance with one’s conscience and legitimate desires is so fundamental that I just can’t visualize people permitting government to tamper with it. The whole thing smacks of government interference at its totalitarian worst. It is not the business of government to enter this area.

Moreover, the available facts do not support the notion that mankind must become increasingly sterile or starve. Those who are fond of projecting population trends into the future never seem willing to do the same for food production trends. They concentrate their gaze on the people side of the equation and blind themselves to the food side. It is true that there has been a population explosion of sorts in recent decades. But there has been an even greater agricultural technological explosion — not only in the United States but also in the world in general. The population explosion is running substantially behind the agricultural explosion — -and the agricultural explosion is just beginning except where hampered by government interference. (Title of Liberty, pp. 127-28.)

…I know the special blessings of a large and happy family, for my dear parents had a quiver full of children (Psalm 127:5). Being the oldest of eleven children, I saw the principles of unselfishness, mutual cooperation, loyalty to each other, and a host of other virtues developed in a large and wonderful family with my noble mother as the queen of that home.

Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, “We will wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we have obtained a few of the material conveniences,” and on and on. This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing of children.

Do not curtail the number of children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children — not possessions, not position, not prestige — are our greatest jewels. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)) (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, Pg. 539-43)

-“…Providing opportunity for the spirit children of our Father in Heaven to come to earth and work out their own salvation is one of our sacred privileges and obligations. We teach that among the choicest of eternal riches are children. ” (President Heber J. Grant Gospel Standards, Pg.154)

-“God established families. The Lord organized the whole program in the beginning with a father who procreates, provides, and loves and directs, and a mother who conceives and bears and nurtures and feeds and trains. The Lord could have organized it otherwise but chose to have a unit with responsibility and purposeful associations where children train and discipline each other and come to love, honor, and appreciate each other. The family is the great plan of life as conceived and organized by our Father in Heaven.

To any thoughtful person it must be obvious that intimate association without marriage is sin; that children without parenthood and family life is tragedy; that society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness and oblivion.

…do not limit your family as the world does.

Don’t think you will love the later ones less or have fewer material things for them. Perhaps, like Jacob, you might love the eleventh one most. Young folk, have your family, love them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and happy all the days of your eternal lives.

Have large families regardless of social norms. In America and elsewhere in the world, the family limitation program is gaining much strength. Latter-day Saints do not believe in this. We believe in following the admonition of the Lord in having large families and rearing them righteously. We hope that our Latter-day Saints will not trade children for accommodation and luxury.

When you go to the temple for sealing, you will note that the Lord continues to command his people to live this commandment. It is not easy. It is much easier to limit the family to one or two, but great blessings come to those who struggle through the years with the small children. When they have reared them righteously, they will have crowns throughout eternity. The time will come when those men and women who have neglected their duties because they wanted luxuries will be very jealous of the joys and happiness of those who sacrificed in the early years of marriage. Certainly we do not just wish to bring children in the world and turn them loose to go wild. We must rear them in righteousness. Generally, you will find that the people that come from the large families are generally the best trained and the most faithful.

Motherhood and fatherhood are primary. Now, it is wise for every young woman to be grateful for her womanhood and her privilege to create, with her husband and the Eternal God as her partners. To be a mother, to be a wife of a good man — what a great joy! While she is waiting for that holy, sacred hour, let her be happy and content to develop her mind and accumulate knowledge and prepare herself emotionally and spiritually for the happy times.

For the young man, his education is important, his mission vital; but his proper marriage and his proper life to be a righteous father and to properly provide for and give leadership to a family — that is wonderful, a wonderful role in life to play.

Motherhood is a noble work. Motherhood is a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s work, a consecration and devotion to the rearing and fostering, the nurturing of body, mind, and spirit of those who kept their first estate and who came to this earth for their second estate to learn and be tested and to work toward godhood.

Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord’s spirit children, and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments. Could there be a more sacred trust than to be a trustee for honorable, well-born, well-developed children?

So our beloved mother Eve began the human race with gladness, wanting children, glad for the joy that they would bring to her, willing to assume the problems connected with a family, but also the joys.

To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be ten fold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home — which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.

I wish to say without equivocation that a woman will find no greater satisfaction and joy and peace and make no greater contribution to mankind than in being a wise and worthy woman and raising good children.

When we sing that doctrinal hymn and anthem of affection, “O My Father,” we get a sense of the ultimate in maternal modesty, of the restrained, queenly elegance of our heavenly mother, and knowing how profoundly our mortal mothers have shaped us here, do we suppose her influence on us as individuals to be less if we live so as to return there?

God has placed women at the very headwaters of the human stream. So much of what our men and our institutions seek to do downstream in the lives of erring individuals is done to compensate for early failures. Likewise, so much of life’s later rejoicing is a reflection of a woman’s work well done at the headwaters of the home.

Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously wait.

When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved, your accomplishments supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy through time and eternity of your sisters who have spent themselves in selfish pursuits.

Technology frees time for better child rearing. Today’s women, especially in the United States and some other countries, have ease, comfort, leisure, conveniences, and time, such as no other women in history have had.

What has she done with her new-found liberties and freedoms and opportunities and time? Has she perfected her own life? Is she more dutiful and faithful to her reduced home duties than was her great-grandmother with her multiplicity of arduous ones? Is today’s woman a better wife to her husband? Is the modern, electrically driven home of today a happier haven of refuge than the four walls of the last centuries? Is she today a better, more congenial neighbor than yesterday’s woman? Does she have more children now that she has more time, better facilities, and more help? Does she train her children better than her ancestors did? Does she herself have more faith and piety than the women of old? And does she better instill into her children the faith which will make gods of them?

God bless the women, the wonderful women of every time and age and place, who establish first in their lives their Lord, his work, and their families.

Women who are deliberately childless will regret it. I am not sorry for women who sacrifice their lives for children. I am not sorry for those women who have many children. But I am sorry … for women who come to the Judgment Day who have never assumed the responsibility of rearing children, who have been afraid of pain, resistant to sacrifice. They are the ones whose hearts will be heavy.

I know there are many women who could not have children — God bless them!

Childbearing should not be delayed for convenience. After marriage young wives should be occupied in bearing and rearing children. I know of no scriptures or authorities which authorize young wives to delay their families or to go to work to put their husbands through college. Young married couples can make their way and reach their educational heights, if they are determined.

Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor — that of the bearing and rearing of children…

How do you suppose that the Lord would look upon a man and a woman whose marriage seems to be largely for the purpose of living together and sex gratification without the responsibilities of marriage? How do you think that the Lord looks upon those who use the contraceptives because in their selfish life it is not the convenient moment to bear children? How do you feel the Lord looks upon those who would trade flesh-and-blood children for pianos or television or furniture or an automobile, and is this not actually the case when people will buy these luxuries and yet cannot afford to have their children? Are there not numerous people who first buy the luxury article and then find they cannot pay the doctor or a hospital bill incident to childbirth? How do you think the Lord feels about women who forego the pleasures and glories of motherhood that they might retain their figures, that their social life might not be affected, that they might avoid the deprivations, pains, and agonies of childbearing and berthing? How do you think the Lord feels as he views healthy parents who could have children but who deliberately close the doors by operation or by contraceptives, close the doors upon spirits eager to enter into mortal bodies?

Not everyone can have children. We realize, of course, there are some women who cannot have children, some men who cannot reproduce. The Lord will take care of all that if we have done everything in our power, if we have done what we could to make ourselves normal and productive and to follow the commandments of the Lord.

Few couples need remain childless. Men and women who have been unable to have children should build their faith. Many a barren woman like Sarah has had children through special blessings of the Lord. She was blessed in having a son — a son to a barren woman.

Sometimes operations or adjustments or hormones may make parenthood possible. Frequently fears and frictions and tenseness are causes for barrenness and sterility. Such people should do everything in their power to put themselves in a position to have their babies. Adoption of parentless children brings joy to many hearts. Few, if any, parents need be childless through their years.

Mother’s health should he considered. In family life, men must and should be considerate of their wives, not only in the bearing of children, but in caring for them through childhood. The mother’s health must be conserved, and the husband’s consideration for his wife is his first duty, and self-control a dominant factor in all their relationships.

Sterilization as a medical measure is a serious personal responsibility. On … sterilization or other surgery to prevent conception … the Church has felt that it was the individual responsibility of the couple; and while the Church leaves it to the individual to determine whether the ill health of the mother is sufficient to warrant the surgery which would make pregnancy impossible, yet it is a definite personal responsibility. In your case, since the surgery has already been completed, it cannot be undone, so it must be accepted as a fact and life can go on. Both parents should give themselves totally and fully to the rearing of their six children which they now have in a loving home with ideal surroundings.

Sterilization to avoid the inconvenience of children is sinful. We marry for eternity. We are serious about this. We become parents and bring wanted children into the world and rear and train them to righteousness.

We are aghast at the reports of young people going to surgery to limit their families and the reputed number of parents who encourage this vasectomy. Remember that the coming of the Lord approaches, and some difficult-to-answer questions will be asked by a divine Judge who will be hard to satisfy with silly explanations and rationalizations. He will judge justly, you may be sure.

Sterilization and tying of tubes and such are sins, and except under special circumstances it cannot be approved.

The world can provide for growing population. Many people, some of them innocently caught up in the whirlpool of delusion errors, are worrying about the earth failing to provide for the oncoming generations. They take such means to influence the thinking of the people and repeat it so often that many of us were gullible and accepted it. We tend to believe what the world says. We often do not even ask what the Lord’s program is. “

(The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, Pg. 324-31)

-“It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so.” (President Spencer W. Kimball Conference Report, April 1979, Pg. 6)

-“Paul speaks of continence—a word almost forgotten by our world. Still in the dictionary, it means self-restraint, in sexual activities especially. Many good people, being influenced by the bold spirit of the times, are now seeking surgery for the wife or the husband so they may avoid pregnancies and comply with the strident voice demanding a reduction of children. It was never easy to bear and rear children, but easy things do not make for growth and development. But loud, blatant voices today shout “fewer children” and offer the Pill, drugs, surgery, and even ugly abortion to accomplish that. Strange the proponents of depopulating the world seem never to have thought of continence!” (President Spencer W. Kimball Conference Report, April 1971, Pg. 7)

-“[W]e declare it is a grievous sin before God to adopt restrictive measures in disobedience to God’s divine command from the beginning of time to “multiply and replenish the earth.” Surely those who project such measures to prevent life or to destroy life before or after birth will reap the whirlwind of God’s retribution, for God will not be mocked. (President Harold B. Lee CR1972Oct:63)

-“Seeking the pleasure of conjugality without a willingness to assume the responsibilities of rearing a family is one of the onslaughts that now batter at the structure of the American home. Intelligence and mutual consideration should be ever-present factors in determining the coming of children to the home.” (President David O. McKay Conference Report, April 1969, Pg.5-6)

-“True motherhood is the noblest call of the world, and we look with sorrow upon the practice here in our own United States of limiting families, a tendency creeping into our own Church.” (President David O. McKay Church News, June 11, 1952)

-“When the husband and wife are healthy, and free from inherited weaknesses and diseases that might be transmitted with injury to their offspring the use of contraceptives is to be condemned. (President David O. McKay Conference Report, October 1943, Pg. 30)

-“I regret, I think it is a crying evil, that there should exist a sentiment or a feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. I think that is a crime wherever it occurs, where husband and wife are in possession of health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity. I believe that where people undertake to curtail or prevent the birth of their children that they are going to reap disappointment by and by. I have no hesitancy in saying that I believe this is one of the greatest crimes of the world today, this evil practice. (President Joseph F. Smith Relief Society Magazine, Vol. 4, June 1917, Pg. 314)

-“Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fullness of joy, and if we will obtain a fullness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires — life eternal.” (President Joseph F. Smith Gospel Doctrine, Pg. 276)

-“THE BLESSINGS OF BIRTH INTO MORTALITY. Nothing should be held in greater sacredness and honor than the covenant by which the spirits of men — the offspring of God in the spirit — are privileged to come into this world in mortal tabernacles. It is through this principle that the blessing of immortal glory is made possible. The greatest punishment ever given was proclaimed against Lucifer and his angels. To be denied the privilege of mortal bodies forever is the greatest curse of all. These spirits can have no progress, no hope of resurrection and eternal life! Doomed are they to eternal misery for their rebellion!

And then to think that we are not only privileged, but also commanded to assist our Father in the great work of redemption by giving to his children, as we have obtained these blessings ourselves, the right to live and continue on even to perfection! No innocent soul should be condemned to come into this world under a handicap of illegitimacy. Every child has the right to be well born! Every individual who denies them that right is guilty of a mortal sin.

The importance of these mortal tabernacles is apparent from the knowledge we have of eternal life. Spirits cannot be made perfect without the body of flesh and bones. The body and its spirit are brought to immortality and the blessings of salvation through the resurrection. After the resurrection there can be no separation again, body and spirit become inseparably connected that man may receive a fullness of joy. In no other way, other than birth into this life and the resurrection, can spirits become like our Eternal Father.

MAN COMMANDED TO BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY. The obligations which married couples take upon themselves should conform in every particular to the commandments given by the Lord.

In the beginning, the Lord said when he gave Eve to Adam, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.” This earth was created for the very purpose that the spirit children of our Father might have the privilege of the temporal existence, receiving bodies of flesh and bones as tabernacles for the spirits which occupy them, and then, through the atonement of Jesus Christ, receive the resurrection in which the spirit and the body become inseparably connected so that man may live again. . . .

Marriage is an eternal covenant, not to come to an end as taught so generally throughout the world when the covenanting parties are dead, but to endure forever. The real purpose of life is that the spirits of men thus clothed in bodies of flesh and bones may, through obedience to the gospel, come back into the presence of the Father and the Son, to receive the fullness of exaltation,

The Lord has revealed that when a man and a woman are married according to his law, children born to them will be theirs throughout all eternity.

The covenant given to Adam to multiply was renewed after the flood with Noah and his children after him. The Lord said to Noah: “And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying. And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you.”

This covenant is still binding, although mankind has departed from the way of eternal life and has rejected the covenant of marriage which the Lord revealed.

BIRTH CONTROL IS WICKEDNESS. The abuse of this holy covenant has been the primary cause for the downfall of nations. When the sacred vows of marriage are broken and the real purpose of marriage abused, as we find it so prevalent in the world today, then destruction is inevitable.

No nation can endure for any length of time, if the marriage covenants are abused and treated with contempt. The anger of the Almighty was kindled against ancient nations for their immorality. There is nothing that should be held in greater sacredness than this covenant by which the spirits of men are clothed with mortal tabernacles.

When a man and a woman are married and they agree, or covenant, to limit their offspring to two or three, and practice devices to accomplish this purpose, they are guilty of iniquity which eventually must be punished. Unfortunately this evil doctrine is being taught as a virtue by many people who consider themselves cultured and highly educated. It has even crept in among members of the Church and has been advocated in some of the classes within the Church.

It should be understood definitely that this kind of doctrine is not only not advocated by the authorities of the Church, but also is condemned by them as wickedness in the sight of the Lord.

President Joseph F. Smith has said in relation to this question: “Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fullness of joy, and if we will obtain a fullness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires — eternal life.”

SPIRITS DESIRE BIRTH IN RIGHTEOUS FAMILIES. President Brigham Young has this to say about birth control, an abomination practiced by so-called civilized nations, but nations who have forsaken the ways of life:

“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.”

If these iniquitous practices find their place in our hearts and we are guilty, then when we arrive on the other side — and discover that we have deprived ourselves of eternal blessings and are accused by those who were assigned to come to us, because, as President Young has said, they were forced to take bodies in the families of the wicked — how will we feel? Moreover, may we not lose our own salvation if we violate this divine law?

BIRTH CONTROL LEADS TO DAMNATION. …

When young people marry and refuse to fulfill this commandment given in the beginning of the world — and just as much in force today — they rob themselves of the greatest eternal blessing. If the love of the world and the wicked practices of the world mean more to a man and a woman than to keep the commandment of the Lord in this respect, then they shut themselves off from the eternal blessing of increase. Those who willfully and maliciously design to break this important commandment shall be damned. They cannot have the Spirit of the Lord.

Small families is the rule today. Husbands and wives refuse to take upon themselves the responsibilities of family life. Many of them do not care to be bothered with children. Yet this commandment given to Adam has never been abrogated or set aside. If we refuse to live by the covenants we make, especially in the house of the Lord, then we cannot receive the blessings of those covenants in eternity. If the responsibilities of parenthood are willfully avoided here, then how can the Lord bestow upon the guilty the blessings of eternal increase? It cannot be, and they shall be denied such blessings.”

(President Joseph Fielding Smith Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 2, Pg. 85-9)

-“If we notice the situation of the nations of Europe at the present time, we see the land burdened with an overplus population, and groaning beneath its inhabitants, while the greatest industry, perseverance, economy, and care, do not suffice to provide for the craving wants of nature. And so fearfully does this prevail in many parts, that parents are afraid to fulfill the first great law of God, “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth;” and by desperate circumstances are almost forced to the unnatural wish of not propagating their species; while, corrupted with a correspondent depravity with that which reigns among nations, they are found using suicidal measures to prevent an otherwise numerous progeny from increasing their father’s misery, and inheriting his misfortunes. And yet, while this is the case, there are immense districts of rich soil, covering millions of square miles, inhabited only by a few untutored savages, or the wild beast of the forest; and such is the infatuation of man that in many districts of country, which were once the seats of the most powerful empires, and where flourished the mightiest nations, there is nothing but desolation and wildness. Such are Ninevah and Babylon, on the Asiatic Continent; and Otolum, and many others discovered by Stephens and Catherwood, in Central America; and recently discovered ruins — unequaled in the old world — a little above the head of the California Gulf. Not only their cities, but their lands are desolate, deserted, and forsaken, and the same evils that once existed there are transferred to another soil, all bespeaking plainly that we want a great, governing, ruling principle to regulate the affairs of the world, and assist poor, feeble, erring humanity.” (President John Taylor The Government of God, Chapter 2)

-“…This is the reason why the doctrine of plurality of wives was revealed, that the noble spirits which are waiting for tabernacles might be brought forth. (President Brigham Young Discourses of Brigham Young, Pg.197)

-“To check the increase of our race has its advocates among the influential and powerful circles of society in our nation and in other nations. The same practice existed forty-five years ago, and various devices were used by married persons to prevent the expenses and responsibilities of a family of children, which they must have incurred had they suffered nature’s laws to rule preeminent. That which was practiced then in fear and against reproving conscience, is now boldly trumpeted abroad as one of the best means of ameliorating the miseries and sorrows of humanity. Infanticide is very prevalent in our nation. It is a crime that comes within the purview of the law, and is therefore not so boldly practiced as is the other equally great crime, which, no doubt, to a great extent, prevents the necessity of infanticide. The unnatural style of living, the extensive use of narcotics, the attempts to destroy and dry up the fountains of life, are fast destroying the American element of the nation; it is passing away before the increase of the more healthy, robust, honest, and less sinful class of the people which are pouring into the country daily from the Old World. The wife of the servant man is the mother of eight or ten healthy children, while the wife of his master is the mother of one or two poor, sickly children, devoid of vitality and constitution, and, if daughters, unfit, in their turn, to be mothers, and the health and vitality which nature has denied them through the irregularities of their parents are not repaired in the least by their education. (President Brigham Young Journal of Discourses, Vol. 12, Pg. 120-21)

-“Now I think you bishops, you presidents of stakes, and you presidents of the quorums of the priesthood, ought to consider these things (speaking of God’s command that we have children) most carefully, and be prepared to teach the people that which the Lord would have them taught, and when our teachers go to visit them in their homes, let them teach the revelations of the Living God and magnify their callings.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Conference Report, October 1946, pp. 35-39) (http://scriptures.byu.edu/gettalk.php?ID=253)

 

 

 

 

 

Childbearing

 

 

 

-For more on this subject, see my document “Children: Why to have lots of them and not wait around about it” at this link: http://richardsonstudies.com/2018/01/01/children-why-to-have-lots-of-them-and-not-wait-around-about-it-quotes-and-commentary-by-nate-richardson-updated-1-1-18/

-4 Nephi 1:10 One of the marks of a righteous civilization is that they “multiply exceedingly fast”. They love each other and know what they have should be promulgated throughout the earth every way possible. Have children, lots of them, and don’t wait around about it. This “multiplying exceedingly fast” is recorded just before the record that they became “an exceedingly fair and delightsome people”. Why did they become thus? Because they multiplied exceedingly fast. It’s not the only factor, but it is nevertheless a critical factor.  “children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps. 127:3) “the Lord thy God…he will do thee good, and multiply thee above thy fathers” (Deut. 30:5) “I, the Lord God said: I will greatly multiply thy…conception…thou shalt bring forth children” (Moses 4:22; Gen. 3:16) stars … So shall thy seed be: Gen. 15:5 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Ex. 32:13 ; Deut. 1:10 ; Heb. 11:12 . ) I will multiply thy seed exceedingly: Gen. 16:10 . ( Gen. 26:24 ; Josh. 24:10 . ) thou shalt be a father of many nations: Gen. 17:4 . ( Gen. 48:4 ; Rom. 4:18 . ) she shall be a mother of nations: Gen. 17:16 . in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed: Gen. 22:18 . ( Gen. 26:4 ; Gen. 28:14 ; Acts 3:25 ; 1 Ne. 15:18 ; 1 Ne. 22:9 ; D&C 124:58 . ) make thy seed as the sand of the sea: Gen. 32:12 .

-Psalm 127: 3–5 Isaiah 54:13 D&C 68:25–28 Moses 2:27–28 these are scriptures on not postponing children taken from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 10. https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

-The ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity. —Elder Dallin H. Oaks from the Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

-President Joseph F. Smith “Motherhood lies at the foundation of happiness in the home, and of prosperity in the nation. God has laid upon men and women very sacred obligations with respect to motherhood, and they are obligations that cannot be disregarded without invoking divine displeasure. In 1 Timothy 2:13–15, we are told that ‘Adam was first formed, then Eve. . . .’ Can she be saved without child-bearing? She indeed takes an awful risk if she willfully disregards what is a pronounced requirement of God” (Gospel Doctrine, 288–89). (from page 14 Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)

-President David O. McKay “Love realizes his sweetest happiness and his most divine consummation in the home where the coming of children is not restricted, where they are made most welcome, and where the duties of parenthood are accepted as a co-partnership with the eternal Creator. “In all this, however, the mother’s health should be guarded. In the realm of wifehood, the woman should reign supreme” (Gospel Ideals, 469). (Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)

-President Spencer W. Kimball “Tomorrow when I repeat the phrases that will bind you for eternity, I shall say the same impressive words that the Lord said to that handsome youth and his lovely bride in the Garden of Eden: ‘Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth.’ . . . “. . . You came to get for yourself a mortal body that could become perfected, immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God in providing bodies for other spirits. . . . And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course, it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial start with a family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work” (“John and Mary, Beginning Life Together,” New Era, June 1975, 8). “Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor—that of the bearing and rearing of children. Too many young people set their minds, determining they will not marry or have children until they are more secure, until the military service period is over; until the college degree is secured; until the occupation is more well-defined; until the debts are paid; or until it is more convenient. They have forgotten that the first commandment is to ‘be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.’ (Genesis 1:28.) And so brides continue their employment and husbands encourage it, and contraceptives are used to prevent conception. Relatives and friends and even mothers sometimes encourage birth control for their young newlyweds. But the excuses are many, mostly weak. The wife is not robust; the family budget will not feed extra mouths; or the expense of the doctor, hospital, and other incidentals is too great; it will disturb social life; it would prevent two salaries; and so abnormal living prevents the birth of children. The Church cannot approve nor condone the measures which so greatly limit the family” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 328–29).

-These are excerpts from Elder Anderson General Conference Report Oct. 2011 “Children”: It is a crowning privilege of a husband and wife who are able to bear children to provide mortal bodies for these spirit children of God. We believe in families, and we believe in children…Before immortality, there must be mortality…The family is ordained of God…“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.” (he here quoted “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129)..This commandment has not been forgotten or set aside in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. (in footnote he quotes According to the annual American Community Survey, released by the U.S. Census Bureau, “Utah still has the nation’s largest households, highest fertility rate, lowest median age, youngest age at marriage and most stay-at-home moms” (“Who Are Utahns? Survey Shows We’re Highest, Lowest, Youngest,” Salt Lake Tribune, Sept. 22, 2011, A1, A8).)…When to have a child and how many children to have are private decisions to be made between a husband and wife and the Lord. “Where once the standards of the Church and the standards of society were mostly compatible, now there is a wide chasm between us, and it’s growing ever wider. …

Last April, President Thomas S. Monson declared: “The Savior of mankind described Himself as being in the world but not of the world. We also can be in the world but not of the world as we reject false concepts and false teachings and remain true to that which God has commanded.”(Thomas S. Monson, “Priesthood Power,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2011, 66, 67.)…

My daughters recently referred me to a blog written by a Christian mother (not of our faith) with five children. She commented: “[Growing] up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood. … Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get.” She then adds: “Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.” (Rachel Jankovic, “Motherhood Is a Calling (and Where Your Children Rank),” July 14, 2011, desiringgod.org.)…As the world increasingly asks, “Are these all yours?” we thank you for creating within the Church a sanctuary for families, where we honor and help mothers with children… (how he tells the story of a man meeting with President Kimball) I found myself sitting across the desk from Elder Spencer W. Kimball.” (This wouldn’t be so easy today.)

“I explained that I wanted to become a doctor. There was no alternative but to postpone having our family. Elder Kimball listened patiently and then responded in a soft voice, ‘Brother Mason, would the Lord want you to break one of his important commandments in order for you to become a doctor? With the help of the Lord, you can have your family and still become a doctor. Where is your faith?’”… In April general conference, President Thomas S. Monson said: “If you are concerned about providing financially for a wife and family, may I assure you that there is no shame in a couple having to scrimp and save. It is generally during these challenging times that you will grow closer together as you learn to sacrifice and to make difficult decisions.” (quoted Thomas S. Monson, Liahona and Ensign, May 2011, 67.)…It was not in their Jerusalem home, with gold, silver, and precious things, that Lehi and Sariah, acting in faith, bore their sons Jacob and Joseph. It was in the wilderness. Lehi spoke of his son Jacob as “my first-born in the days of my tribulation in the wilderness.” ( 2 Nephi 2:1) Lehi said of Joseph, “Thou wast born in the wilderness of [our] afflictions; yea, in the days of [our] greatest sorrow did thy mother bear thee.”(2 Nephi 3:1.)…In the most beloved story of a baby’s birth, there was no decorated nursery or designer crib—only a manger for the Savior of the world…In “the best of times [and] … the worst of times,”(from Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities (Signet Classic, 1997), 13.) the true Saints of God, acting in faith, have never forgotten, dismissed, or neglected “God’s commandment … to multiply and replenish the earth.” (quoted  Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2010, 129.)…As the Lord’s servant, I assure you that this promise is certain: “Faithful members whose circumstances do not allow them to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and parenthood in this life will receive all promised blessings in the eternities, [as] they keep the covenants they have made with God.” (quoted Handbook 2: Administering the Church (2010), 1.3.3.)…“And [Jesus] took a child … in his arms [and] said …“Whosoever shall receive one of such children in my name, receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me, receiveth … him that sent me.” (Mark 9:36–37) What a wonderful blessing we have to receive sons and daughters of God into our home. … I testify of the great blessing of children and of the happiness they will bring us in this life and in the eternities, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. (These are excerpts from Elder Anderson General Conference Report Oct. 2011 “Children” https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/children?lang=eng#17-PD50029123_000_2030)

-“Those who are physically able have the blessing, joy, and obligation to bear children and to raise a family. This blessing should not be postponed for selfish reasons.

Sexual relations within marriage are not only for the purpose of procreation, but also a means of expressing love and strengthening emotional and spiritual ties between husband and wife.

Husband and wife are encouraged to pray and counsel together as they plan their families. Issues to consider include the physical and mental health of the mother and father and their capacity to provide the basic necessities of life for their children.

Decisions about birth control and the consequences of those decisions rest solely with each married couple. Elective abortion as a method of birth control, however, is contrary to the commandments of God.” (LDS Topics section of Official Church Website https://www.lds.org/topics/print/birth-control)

-see also http://eom.byu.edu/index.php/Birth_Control

–“We came to this earth that we might have a body and present it pure before God in the celestial kingdom. The great principle of happiness consists in having a body. The devil has no body, and herein is his punishment. He is pleased when he can obtain the tabernacle of man, and when cast out by the Savior he asked to go into a herd of swine, showing that he would prefer a swine’s body to having none.

All beings who have bodies have power over those who have not. The devil has no power over us only as we permit him. The moment we revolt at anything which comes from God, the devil takes power” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 181).

-“Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son are, by nature, creators. As the sons and daughters of God, we have the potential to become like Them. The Father and the Son have entrusted us with a portion of Their creative power and provided specific guidelines for the proper use of that sacred ability to create life and establish an eternal family. How we feel about and use that sacred power in this life will determine in large measure whether additional creative power will be ours in the life to come.” (By Elder David A. Bednar Area Authority Seventy From a devotional address given at Ricks College on 11 January 2000. Published also in the Ensign, September 2001 see https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)

–“One of the ‘plain and precious’ truths restored in this dispensation is that ‘the spirit and the body are the soul of man’ (D&C 88:15) and that when the spirit and body are separated, men and women ‘cannot receive a fulness of joy’ (D&C 93:34). That is the reason why obtaining a body is so fundamentally important in the first place, why sin of any kind is such a serious matter (namely because it is sin that ultimately brings both physical and spiritual death), and why the resurrection of the body is so central to the great triumph of Christ’s Atonement.

The body is an essential part of the soul. This distinctive and very important Latter-day Saint doctrine underscores why sexual sin is so serious. We declare that one who uses the God-given body of another without divine sanction abuses the very soul of that individual, abuses the central purpose and processes of life, ‘the very key’ (Elder Holland of the 12 Apostles in Conference Report, Apr. 1972, 139; or Ensign,July 1972, 113) (Also quoted by Elder David A. Bednar Area Authority Seventy From a devotional address given at Ricks College on 11 January 2000. Published also in the Ensign, September 2001 see https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/09/ye-are-the-temple-of-god?lang=eng)

-Brothers and sisters, both the Church’s temples and our personal temples must be used to accomplish the righteous purposes for which they were created. Our physical body is a marvelous blessing and a timeless trust. The most sacred of all our divine powers is to become a co-creator with Heavenly Father in providing physical bodies for His spirit sons and daughters and in establishing a righteous and Christ-centered family. Nothing is more holy; nothing deserves more reverence; nothing is more central to the plan of happiness. And our very souls are at stake.

I hope we now better understand why “to receive a physical body” is the first element of the answer to the important question “Why are we here on earth?” The doctrines Lucifer works most diligently to distort and attack are the ones that really matter the most to us individually, to our families, and to the world. The great plan of happiness requires that each of us obtain a physical body and makes possible a forever family. Consider the popular philosophy that many voices in our modern world would persuade us to believe: “Eat, drink, and be merry; nevertheless, fear God—he will justify in committing a little sin” (2 Ne. 28:8). Such an ideology is a lie inspired by the great deceiver. Where is the adversary presently directing his most direct and diabolical attacks? Upon our beliefs about and uses of the physical body and upon the family. Remember, Satan does not have a body and he cannot have a family. He desires that all of us would become miserable like unto himself. And he relentlessly works to distort the two doctrines he hates the most.

-“The body that has been given to us was for the purpose of allowing the spirit to exalt itself to a nobler condition. The lightning that is seen flashing from cloud to cloud, from mountain top to mountain top, is an electrical force that may tear down buildings, set fire to property, and destroy life. Conduct electricity through the dynamo wire, and motor, and behold its wonderful results working for the service of man, accomplishing something under the control of a physical instrument, it thus becomes a power for good. So with steam, if allowed to evaporate freely it does little good, but restrain it in the boiler, send it through the engine, and under its power you may travel across the continent or sail from shore to shore. And so, too, with this highest, most potent of all spiritual forces, the intelligence that is in man; enshrine it in a spiritual body, that it may have the experiences of spiritual life; and then give it a physical body, that it may enter into and obtain the joy and experiences of physical life, and you have enlarged its powers immeasurably” (Elder Melvin J. Ballard (1873–1939), a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles in Conference Report, Oct. 1912, 107).

-“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? … It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can (DBY,197).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)

-“Many of the sisters grieve because they are not blessed with offspring. You will see the time when you will have millions of children around you. If you are faithful to your covenants, you will be mothers of nations (DBY,200).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)

More on this topic: See Boyd K. Packer, “‘Ye Are the Temple of God’ ”Ensign, Nov. 2000, 72–74; John S. Tanner, “The Body as a Blessing” Ensign, July 1993, 7–11; Russell M. Nelson“The Magnificence of Man” Ensign, Jan. 1988, 64–69., see also President Boyd K Packer, “The Fountain of Life”

https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

for the address see  http://www.podfeed.net/episode/The+Fountain+of+Life+Boyd+K.+Packer/1761621

or  http://www.byutv.org/watch/f6816669-24fc-46d3-ae39-2b5d085ea5ce/byu-devotional-address-boyd-k-packer-32992)

-“The world teaches birth control. Tragically, many of our sisters subscribe to its pills and practices when they could easily provide earthly tabernacles for more of our Father’s children. We know that every spirit assigned to this earth will come, whether through us or someone else. There are couples in the Church who think they are getting along just fine with their limited families but who will someday suffer the pains of remorse when they meet the spirits that might have been part of their posterity. The first commandment given to man was to multiply and replenish the earth with children. That commandment has never been altered, modified, or canceled. The Lord did not say to multiply and replenish the earth if it is convenient, or if you are wealthy, or after you have gotten your schooling, or when there is peace on earth, or until you have four children. The Bible says, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: “. . . Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them. . .” (Ps. 127:3, 5.) We believe God is glorified by having numerous children and a program of perfection for them. So also will God glorify that husband and wife who have a large posterity and who have tried to raise them up in righteousness.” (President Ezra Taft Benson Conference Report, April 1969, Pg.12)

-“Man enters into a lawful marriage covenant and propagates his own posterity. To fulfill this purpose, God ordained marriage. The Lord declared that: “Marriage is ordained of God . . . that the earth might answer the end of its creation; And that it might be filled with the measure of man, according to his creation before the world was made.” (D&C 49:15-17.)…

In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints chastity will never be out of date. We have one standard for men and women, and that standard is moral purity. We oppose and abhor the damnable practice of wholesale abortion and every other unholy and impure act which strikes at the very foundation of the home and family, our most basic institutions. (God, Family, Country, p. 364.)

As parents, what is our attitude regarding the sacred obligations of parenthood? One of the major purposes of marriage is childrenNations which refuse to accept this God-given obligation sink into oblivion. Will our sons and daughters want children because of our attitude and example? (So Shall Ye Reap, p. 106.)

We can’t build a happy home, we can’t build a happy married life, on the foundation of immorality. It can’t be done. So I would beseech our young people to reserve for the marriage relationship those sweet and lovely and intimate associations. Not only that, but when those associations come, let them be primarily for the purpose of procreation, for the having of a family, because it is not pleasing in the sight of God to enjoy the pleasures of those associations and refuse to accept the responsibility of parenthood. (God, Family, Country, pp. 196-97.)

Do not postpone the blessings of honorable parenthood following marriage. When God said it was our responsibility to multiply and replenish the earth, that marriage was primarily for that purpose, He didn’t insert any provisions. (London Area Conference, 19-20 June 1976.)

A modern trend is to rationalize the commandment to procreate, saying that the earth cannot support this great number of unrestricted births, or that it is not financially possible to support a great number of children today. The Lord said to the Prophet Joseph, referring to the productive capacity of the earth, “For the earth is full and there is enough and to spare” (D&C 104:17). (Miami, Florida, 19 March 1976.)

A major reason why there is famine in some parts of the world is because evil men have used the vehicle of government to abridge the freedom that men need to produce abundantly. True to form, many of the people who desire to frustrate God’s purposes of giving mortal tabernacles to His spirit children through worldwide birth control are the very same people who support the kinds of government that perpetuate famine. They advocate an evil to cure the results of the wickedness they support. (CR April 1969, Improvement Era 72 [June 1969]: 44.)

…Yes, blessed is the husband and wife who have a family of children. The deepest joys and blessings in life are associated with family, parenthood, and sacrifice. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)

The undue postponement of parenthood is bound to bring disappointment and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Yes, of course, one can always find excuses. The young husband is going through school. I know how difficult it is. I remember our first year of married life on seventy dollars a month for both of us. I thank the Lord for my noble companion and her fervent determination to put first things first.

It thrills me to witness young couples where the husband is struggling through medical school or dental school or some other school and they have the courage and strength and the faith to know that in some way the God of Heaven will assist them if they do their duty and have their families.

So, I would ask our young people to think seriously about these things, pray about them, fast about them. The Lord will give them the answers, because He wants them to have the blessings of a righteous posterity. Sometimes marriage may be postponed to the point where, for physical and other reasons, parenthood is denied. Oh, what a loss when the time comes! It is worth practically any sacrifice to have those sweet spirits come into the home and to have them come early, that the parents might enjoy them for a longer period, that they might enjoy their parents for a longer period, and that the children might enjoy their grandparents for a longer period. (God, Family, Country, pp. 197-98.)

…consider these words seriously when you think of those political leaders who are promoting birth control and abortion: “O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12; 2 Nephi 13:12). Let me warn the sisters in all seriousness that you who submit yourselves to an abortion or to an operation that precludes you from safely having additional healthy children are jeopardizing your exaltation and your future membership in the kingdom of God. (God, Family, Country, p. 224.)

We realize that some women, through no fault of their own, are not able to bear children. To these lovely sisters, every prophet of God has promised that they will be blessed with children in the eternities and that posterity will not be denied them. Through pure faith, pleading prayers, fasting, and special priesthood blessings, many of these same lovely sisters, with their noble companions at their sides, have had miracles take place in their lives and have been blessed with children. Others have prayerfully chosen to adopt children, and to these wonderful couples we salute you for the sacrifices and love you have given to those children you have chosen to be your own. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)

Some well-known persons advocate drastic steps by government action to limit population growth. They contend that the world must stabilize its population or many must starve. In short, the only course that can save mankind from disaster lurking just around the corner is the worldwide adoption by government of population restriction policies.

This, I firmly believe, is an unrealistic and dangerous oversimplification. It is inconceivable to me that the problem of food and people either will, or can, be solved in this way. For one thing, the right to marry and have a family, and to determine the size of one’s family in accordance with one’s conscience and legitimate desires is so fundamental that I just can’t visualize people permitting government to tamper with it. The whole thing smacks of government interference at its totalitarian worst. It is not the business of government to enter this area.

Moreover, the available facts do not support the notion that mankind must become increasingly sterile or starve. Those who are fond of projecting population trends into the future never seem willing to do the same for food production trends. They concentrate their gaze on the people side of the equation and blind themselves to the food side. It is true that there has been a population explosion of sorts in recent decades. But there has been an even greater agricultural technological explosion — not only in the United States but also in the world in general. The population explosion is running substantially behind the agricultural explosion — -and the agricultural explosion is just beginning except where hampered by government interference. (Title of Liberty, pp. 127-28.)

…I know the special blessings of a large and happy family, for my dear parents had a quiver full of children (Psalm 127:5). Being the oldest of eleven children, I saw the principles of unselfishness, mutual cooperation, loyalty to each other, and a host of other virtues developed in a large and wonderful family with my noble mother as the queen of that home.

Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you not to postpone having your children, being co-creators with our Father in Heaven. Do not use the reasoning of the world, such as, “We will wait until we can better afford having children, until we are more secure, until John has completed his education, until he has a better paying job, until we have a larger home, until we have obtained a few of the material conveniences,” and on and on. This is the reasoning of the world and is not pleasing in the sight of God. Mothers who enjoy good health, have your children and have them early. And, husbands, always be considerate of your wives in the bearing of children.

Do not curtail the number of children for personal or selfish reasons. Material possessions, social convenience, and so-called professional advantages are nothing compared to a righteous posterity. In the eternal perspective, children — not possessions, not position, not prestige — are our greatest jewels. (“To the Mothers in Zion,” Parents’ Fireside, Salt Lake City, Utah, 22 February 1987.)) (Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, Pg. 539-43)

-“…Providing opportunity for the spirit children of our Father in Heaven to come to earth and work out their own salvation is one of our sacred privileges and obligations. We teach that among the choicest of eternal riches are children. ” (President Heber J. Grant Gospel Standards, Pg.154)

-“God established families. The Lord organized the whole program in the beginning with a father who procreates, provides, and loves and directs, and a mother who conceives and bears and nurtures and feeds and trains. The Lord could have organized it otherwise but chose to have a unit with responsibility and purposeful associations where children train and discipline each other and come to love, honor, and appreciate each other. The family is the great plan of life as conceived and organized by our Father in Heaven.

To any thoughtful person it must be obvious that intimate association without marriage is sin; that children without parenthood and family life is tragedy; that society without basic family life is without foundation and will disintegrate into nothingness and oblivion.

…do not limit your family as the world does.

Don’t think you will love the later ones less or have fewer material things for them. Perhaps, like Jacob, you might love the eleventh one most. Young folk, have your family, love them, sacrifice for them, teach them righteousness, and you will be blessed and happy all the days of your eternal lives.

Have large families regardless of social norms. In America and elsewhere in the world, the family limitation program is gaining much strength. Latter-day Saints do not believe in this. We believe in following the admonition of the Lord in having large families and rearing them righteously. We hope that our Latter-day Saints will not trade children for accommodation and luxury.

When you go to the temple for sealing, you will note that the Lord continues to command his people to live this commandment. It is not easy. It is much easier to limit the family to one or two, but great blessings come to those who struggle through the years with the small children. When they have reared them righteously, they will have crowns throughout eternity. The time will come when those men and women who have neglected their duties because they wanted luxuries will be very jealous of the joys and happiness of those who sacrificed in the early years of marriage. Certainly we do not just wish to bring children in the world and turn them loose to go wild. We must rear them in righteousness. Generally, you will find that the people that come from the large families are generally the best trained and the most faithful.

Motherhood and fatherhood are primary. Now, it is wise for every young woman to be grateful for her womanhood and her privilege to create, with her husband and the Eternal God as her partners. To be a mother, to be a wife of a good man — what a great joy! While she is waiting for that holy, sacred hour, let her be happy and content to develop her mind and accumulate knowledge and prepare herself emotionally and spiritually for the happy times.

For the young man, his education is important, his mission vital; but his proper marriage and his proper life to be a righteous father and to properly provide for and give leadership to a family — that is wonderful, a wonderful role in life to play.

Motherhood is a noble work. Motherhood is a holy calling, a sacred dedication for carrying out the Lord’s work, a consecration and devotion to the rearing and fostering, the nurturing of body, mind, and spirit of those who kept their first estate and who came to this earth for their second estate to learn and be tested and to work toward godhood.

Mothers have a sacred role. They are partners with God, as well as with their own husbands, first in giving birth to the Lord’s spirit children, and then in rearing those children so they will serve the Lord and keep his commandments. Could there be a more sacred trust than to be a trustee for honorable, well-born, well-developed children?

So our beloved mother Eve began the human race with gladness, wanting children, glad for the joy that they would bring to her, willing to assume the problems connected with a family, but also the joys.

To be a righteous woman during the winding-up scenes on this earth, before the Second Coming of our Savior, is an especially noble calling. The righteous woman’s strength and influence today can be ten fold what it might be in more tranquil times. She has been placed here to help to enrich, to protect, and to guard the home — which is society’s basic and most noble institution. Other institutions in society may falter and even fail, but the righteous woman can help to save the home, which may be the last and only sanctuary some mortals know in the midst of storm and strife.

I wish to say without equivocation that a woman will find no greater satisfaction and joy and peace and make no greater contribution to mankind than in being a wise and worthy woman and raising good children.

When we sing that doctrinal hymn and anthem of affection, “O My Father,” we get a sense of the ultimate in maternal modesty, of the restrained, queenly elegance of our heavenly mother, and knowing how profoundly our mortal mothers have shaped us here, do we suppose her influence on us as individuals to be less if we live so as to return there?

God has placed women at the very headwaters of the human stream. So much of what our men and our institutions seek to do downstream in the lives of erring individuals is done to compensate for early failures. Likewise, so much of life’s later rejoicing is a reflection of a woman’s work well done at the headwaters of the home.

Come home, wives, to your children, born and unborn. Wrap the motherly cloak about you and, unembarrassed, help in a major role to create bodies for the immortal souls who anxiously wait.

When you have fully complemented your husband in home life and borne the children, growing up full of faith, integrity, responsibility, and goodness, then you have achieved, your accomplishments supreme, without peer, and you will be the envy through time and eternity of your sisters who have spent themselves in selfish pursuits.

Technology frees time for better child rearing. Today’s women, especially in the United States and some other countries, have ease, comfort, leisure, conveniences, and time, such as no other women in history have had.

What has she done with her new-found liberties and freedoms and opportunities and time? Has she perfected her own life? Is she more dutiful and faithful to her reduced home duties than was her great-grandmother with her multiplicity of arduous ones? Is today’s woman a better wife to her husband? Is the modern, electrically driven home of today a happier haven of refuge than the four walls of the last centuries? Is she today a better, more congenial neighbor than yesterday’s woman? Does she have more children now that she has more time, better facilities, and more help? Does she train her children better than her ancestors did? Does she herself have more faith and piety than the women of old? And does she better instill into her children the faith which will make gods of them?

God bless the women, the wonderful women of every time and age and place, who establish first in their lives their Lord, his work, and their families.

Women who are deliberately childless will regret itI am not sorry for women who sacrifice their lives for children. I am not sorry for those women who have many children. But I am sorry … for women who come to the Judgment Day who have never assumed the responsibility of rearing children, who have been afraid of pain, resistant to sacrifice. They are the ones whose hearts will be heavy.

I know there are many women who could not have children — God bless them!

Childbearing should not be delayed for convenience. After marriage young wives should be occupied in bearing and rearing children. I know of no scriptures or authorities which authorize young wives to delay their families or to go to work to put their husbands through college. Young married couples can make their way and reach their educational heights, if they are determined.

Supreme happiness in marriage is governed considerably by a primary factor — that of the bearing and rearing of children…

How do you suppose that the Lord would look upon a man and a woman whose marriage seems to be largely for the purpose of living together and sex gratification without the responsibilities of marriage? How do you think that the Lord looks upon those who use the contraceptives because in their selfish life it is not the convenient moment to bear children? How do you feel the Lord looks upon those who would trade flesh-and-blood children for pianos or television or furniture or an automobile, and is this not actually the case when people will buy these luxuries and yet cannot afford to have their children? Are there not numerous people who first buy the luxury article and then find they cannot pay the doctor or a hospital bill incident to childbirth? How do you think the Lord feels about women who forego the pleasures and glories of motherhood that they might retain their figures, that their social life might not be affected, that they might avoid the deprivations, pains, and agonies of childbearing and berthing? How do you think the Lord feels as he views healthy parents who could have children but who deliberately close the doors by operation or by contraceptives, close the doors upon spirits eager to enter into mortal bodies?

Not everyone can have children. We realize, of course, there are some women who cannot have children, some men who cannot reproduce. The Lord will take care of all that if we have done everything in our power, if we have done what we could to make ourselves normal and productive and to follow the commandments of the Lord.

Few couples need remain childless. Men and women who have been unable to have children should build their faith. Many a barren woman like Sarah has had children through special blessings of the Lord. She was blessed in having a son — a son to a barren woman.

Sometimes operations or adjustments or hormones may make parenthood possible. Frequently fears and frictions and tenseness are causes for barrenness and sterility. Such people should do everything in their power to put themselves in a position to have their babies. Adoption of parentless children brings joy to many hearts. Few, if any, parents need be childless through their years.

Mother’s health should he considered. In family life, men must and should be considerate of their wives, not only in the bearing of children, but in caring for them through childhood. The mother’s health must be conserved, and the husband’s consideration for his wife is his first duty, and self-control a dominant factor in all their relationships.

Sterilization as a medical measure is a serious personal responsibility. On … sterilization or other surgery to prevent conception … the Church has felt that it was the individual responsibility of the couple; and while the Church leaves it to the individual to determine whether the ill health of the mother is sufficient to warrant the surgery which would make pregnancy impossible, yet it is a definite personal responsibility. In your case, since the surgery has already been completed, it cannot be undone, so it must be accepted as a fact and life can go on. Both parents should give themselves totally and fully to the rearing of their six children which they now have in a loving home with ideal surroundings.

Sterilization to avoid the inconvenience of children is sinful. We marry for eternity. We are serious about this. We become parents and bring wanted children into the world and rear and train them to righteousness.

We are aghast at the reports of young people going to surgery to limit their families and the reputed number of parents who encourage this vasectomy. Remember that the coming of the Lord approaches, and some difficult-to-answer questions will be asked by a divine Judge who will be hard to satisfy with silly explanations and rationalizations. He will judge justly, you may be sure.

Sterilization and tying of tubes and such are sins, and except under special circumstances it cannot be approved.

The world can provide for growing population. Many people, some of them innocently caught up in the whirlpool of delusion errors, are worrying about the earth failing to provide for the oncoming generations. They take such means to influence the thinking of the people and repeat it so often that many of us were gullible and accepted it. We tend to believe what the world says. We often do not even ask what the Lord’s program is. “

(The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, Pg. 324-31)

-“It is an act of extreme selfishness for a married couple to refuse to have children when they are able to do so.” (President Spencer W. Kimball Conference Report, April 1979, Pg. 6)

-“Paul speaks of continence—a word almost forgotten by our world. Still in the dictionary, it means self-restraint, in sexual activities especially. Many good people, being influenced by the bold spirit of the times, are now seeking surgery for the wife or the husband so they may avoid pregnancies and comply with the strident voice demanding a reduction of children. It was never easy to bear and rear children, but easy things do not make for growth and development. But loud, blatant voices today shout “fewer children” and offer the Pill, drugs, surgery, and even ugly abortion to accomplish that. Strange the proponents of depopulating the world seem never to have thought of continence!” (President Spencer W. Kimball Conference Report, April 1971, Pg. 7)

-“[W]e declare it is a grievous sin before God to adopt restrictive measures in disobedience to God’s divine command from the beginning of time to “multiply and replenish the earth.” Surely those who project such measures to prevent life or to destroy life before or after birth will reap the whirlwind of God’s retribution, for God will not be mocked. (President Harold B. Lee CR1972Oct:63)

-“Seeking the pleasure of conjugality without a willingness to assume the responsibilities of rearing a family is one of the onslaughts that now batter at the structure of the American home. Intelligence and mutual consideration should be ever-present factors in determining the coming of children to the home.” (President David O. McKay Conference Report, April 1969, Pg.5-6)

-“True motherhood is the noblest call of the world, and we look with sorrow upon the practice here in our own United States of limiting families, a tendency creeping into our own Church.” (President David O. McKay Church News, June 11, 1952)

-“When the husband and wife are healthy, and free from inherited weaknesses and diseases that might be transmitted with injury to their offspring the use of contraceptives is to be condemned. (President David O. McKay Conference Report, October 1943, Pg. 30)

-“I regret, I think it is a crying evil, that there should exist a sentiment or a feeling among any members of the Church to curtail the birth of their children. I think that is a crime wherever it occurs, where husband and wife are in possession of health and vigor and are free from impurities that would be entailed upon their posterity. I believe that where people undertake to curtail or prevent the birth of their children that they are going to reap disappointment by and by. I have no hesitancy in saying that I believe this is one of the greatest crimes of the world today, this evil practice. (President Joseph F. Smith Relief Society Magazine, Vol. 4, June 1917, Pg. 314)

-“Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fullness of joy, and if we will obtain a fullness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires — life eternal.” (President Joseph F. Smith Gospel Doctrine, Pg. 276)

-“THE BLESSINGS OF BIRTH INTO MORTALITY. Nothing should be held in greater sacredness and honor than the covenant by which the spirits of men — the offspring of God in the spirit — are privileged to come into this world in mortal tabernacles. It is through this principle that the blessing of immortal glory is made possibleThe greatest punishment ever given was proclaimed against Lucifer and his angels. To be denied the privilege of mortal bodies forever is the greatest curse of all. These spirits can have no progress, no hope of resurrection and eternal life! Doomed are they to eternal misery for their rebellion!

And then to think that we are not only privileged, but also commanded to assist our Father in the great work of redemption by giving to his children, as we have obtained these blessings ourselves, the right to live and continue on even to perfection! No innocent soul should be condemned to come into this world under a handicap of illegitimacy. Every child has the right to be well born! Every individual who denies them that right is guilty of a mortal sin.

The importance of these mortal tabernacles is apparent from the knowledge we have of eternal life. Spirits cannot be made perfect without the body of flesh and bones. The body and its spirit are brought to immortality and the blessings of salvation through the resurrection. After the resurrection there can be no separation again, body and spirit become inseparably connected that man may receive a fullness of joy. In no other way, other than birth into this life and the resurrection, can spirits become like our Eternal Father.

MAN COMMANDED TO BE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY. The obligations which married couples take upon themselves should conform in every particular to the commandments given by the Lord.

In the beginning, the Lord said when he gave Eve to Adam, “Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it.” This earth was created for the very purpose that the spirit children of our Father might have the privilege of the temporal existence, receiving bodies of flesh and bones as tabernacles for the spirits which occupy them, and then, through the atonement of Jesus Christ, receive the resurrection in which the spirit and the body become inseparably connected so that man may live again. . . .

Marriage is an eternal covenant, not to come to an end as taught so generally throughout the world when the covenanting parties are dead, but to endure forever. The real purpose of life is that the spirits of men thus clothed in bodies of flesh and bones may, through obedience to the gospel, come back into the presence of the Father and the Son, to receive the fullness of exaltation,

The Lord has revealed that when a man and a woman are married according to his law, children born to them will be theirs throughout all eternity.

The covenant given to Adam to multiply was renewed after the flood with Noah and his children after him. The Lord said to Noah: “And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein. And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying. And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you.”

This covenant is still binding, although mankind has departed from the way of eternal life and has rejected the covenant of marriage which the Lord revealed.

BIRTH CONTROL IS WICKEDNESS. The abuse of this holy covenant has been the primary cause for the downfall of nations. When the sacred vows of marriage are broken and the real purpose of marriage abused, as we find it so prevalent in the world today, then destruction is inevitable.

No nation can endure for any length of time, if the marriage covenants are abused and treated with contempt. The anger of the Almighty was kindled against ancient nations for their immorality. There is nothing that should be held in greater sacredness than this covenant by which the spirits of men are clothed with mortal tabernacles.

When a man and a woman are married and they agree, or covenant, to limit their offspring to two or three, and practice devices to accomplish this purpose, they are guilty of iniquity which eventually must be punished. Unfortunately this evil doctrine is being taught as a virtue by many people who consider themselves cultured and highly educated. It has even crept in among members of the Church and has been advocated in some of the classes within the Church.

It should be understood definitely that this kind of doctrine is not only not advocated by the authorities of the Church, but also is condemned by them as wickedness in the sight of the Lord.

President Joseph F. Smith has said in relation to this question: “Those who have taken upon themselves the responsibility of wedded life should see to it that they do not abuse the course of nature; that they do not destroy the principle of life within them, nor violate any of the commandments of God. The command which he gave in the beginning to multiply and replenish the earth is still in force upon the children of men. Possibly no greater sin could be committed by the people who have embraced this gospel than to prevent or to destroy life in the manner indicated. We are born into the world that we may have life, and we live that we may have a fullness of joy, and if we will obtain a fullness of joy, we must obey the law of our creation and the law by which we may obtain the consummation of our righteous hopes and desires — eternal life.”

SPIRITS DESIRE BIRTH IN RIGHTEOUS FAMILIES. President Brigham Young has this to say about birth control, an abomination practiced by so-called civilized nations, but nations who have forsaken the ways of life:

There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can.”

If these iniquitous practices find their place in our hearts and we are guilty, then when we arrive on the other side — and discover that we have deprived ourselves of eternal blessings and are accused by those who were assigned to come to us, because, as President Young has said, they were forced to take bodies in the families of the wicked — how will we feel? Moreover, may we not lose our own salvation if we violate this divine law?

BIRTH CONTROL LEADS TO DAMNATION. …

When young people marry and refuse to fulfill this commandment given in the beginning of the world — and just as much in force today — they rob themselves of the greatest eternal blessing. If the love of the world and the wicked practices of the world mean more to a man and a woman than to keep the commandment of the Lord in this respect, then they shut themselves off from the eternal blessing of increase. Those who willfully and maliciously design to break this important commandment shall be damned. They cannot have the Spirit of the Lord.

Small families is the rule today. Husbands and wives refuse to take upon themselves the responsibilities of family life. Many of them do not care to be bothered with children. Yet this commandment given to Adam has never been abrogated or set aside. If we refuse to live by the covenants we make, especially in the house of the Lord, then we cannot receive the blessings of those covenants in eternity. If the responsibilities of parenthood are willfully avoided here, then how can the Lord bestow upon the guilty the blessings of eternal increase? It cannot be, and they shall be denied such blessings.”

(President Joseph Fielding Smith Doctrines of Salvation, Vol. 2, Pg. 85-9)

-“If we notice the situation of the nations of Europe at the present time, we see the land burdened with an overplus population, and groaning beneath its inhabitants, while the greatest industry, perseverance, economy, and care, do not suffice to provide for the craving wants of nature. And so fearfully does this prevail in many parts, that parents are afraid to fulfill the first great law of God, “Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth;” and by desperate circumstances are almost forced to the unnatural wish of not propagating their species; while, corrupted with a correspondent depravity with that which reigns among nations, they are found using suicidal measures to prevent an otherwise numerous progeny from increasing their father’s misery, and inheriting his misfortunes. And yet, while this is the case, there are immense districts of rich soil, covering millions of square miles, inhabited only by a few untutored savages, or the wild beast of the forest; and such is the infatuation of man that in many districts of country, which were once the seats of the most powerful empires, and where flourished the mightiest nations, there is nothing but desolation and wildness. Such are Ninevah and Babylon, on the Asiatic Continent; and Otolum, and many others discovered by Stephens and Catherwood, in Central America; and recently discovered ruins — unequaled in the old world — a little above the head of the California Gulf. Not only their cities, but their lands are desolate, deserted, and forsaken, and the same evils that once existed there are transferred to another soil, all bespeaking plainly that we want a great, governing, ruling principle to regulate the affairs of the world, and assist poor, feeble, erring humanity.” (President John Taylor The Government of God, Chapter 2)

-“…This is the reason why the doctrine of plurality of wives was revealed, that the noble spirits which are waiting for tabernacles might be brought forth. (President Brigham Young Discourses of Brigham Young, Pg.197)

-“To check the increase of our race has its advocates among the influential and powerful circles of society in our nation and in other nations. The same practice existed forty-five years ago, and various devices were used by married persons to prevent the expenses and responsibilities of a family of children, which they must have incurred had they suffered nature’s laws to rule preeminent. That which was practiced then in fear and against reproving conscience, is now boldly trumpeted abroad as one of the best means of ameliorating the miseries and sorrows of humanity. Infanticide is very prevalent in our nationIt is a crime that comes within the purview of the law, and is therefore not so boldly practiced as is the other equally great crime, which, no doubt, to a great extent, prevents the necessity of infanticide. The unnatural style of living, the extensive use of narcotics, the attempts to destroy and dry up the fountains of life, are fast destroying the American element of the nation; it is passing away before the increase of the more healthy, robust, honest, and less sinful class of the people which are pouring into the country daily from the Old World. The wife of the servant man is the mother of eight or ten healthy children, while the wife of his master is the mother of one or two poor, sickly children, devoid of vitality and constitution, and, if daughters, unfit, in their turn, to be mothers, and the health and vitality which nature has denied them through the irregularities of their parents are not repaired in the least by their education. (President Brigham Young Journal of Discourses, Vol. 12, Pg. 120-21)

-“Now I think you bishops, you presidents of stakes, and you presidents of the quorums of the priesthood, ought to consider these things (speaking of God’s command that we have children) most carefully, and be prepared to teach the people that which the Lord would have them taught, and when our teachers go to visit them in their homes, let them teach the revelations of the Living God and magnify their callings.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Conference Report, October 1946, pp. 35-39) (http://scriptures.byu.edu/gettalk.php?ID=253)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eternal Parenting: An Inheritance from The Lord

Audio video format: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pIn7K__QOQ

Are our children ours or do we return them to God later? Well, a bit of both. Join me for this thrilling exploration of eternal promises related to parents and their children, including the doctrine of adoption, which sheds more light on the eternal mysteries of who God is and how to become like him!

The meaning of this title is that we inherit children from the Lord and we keep them. They are not just on loan. Our children we raise on earth will be a part of our eternal kingdom. We existed in the beginning like God and may become like him.

topics: intelligence, pre-mortality, spirit creation, body creation, continuation of families, children being your kingdom, blood redemption & blood as symbol of life, Godhead as each being fathers, earthly parents functioning as Holy Ghost representative parents, Jesus Christ as a parent to his people, what it means to join a family, joint-residency in eternal kingdoms of heaven (earthly parents’ kingdom and heavenly parents’ kingdom and Christ’s kingdom), life is a definitive eternal placement test, heavenly and earthly parents give exclusive rewards to their people/children, seek to understand the universe

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-Subheadings of this article include:
1. OUR CHILDREN WILL CONSTITUTE OUR ETERNAL KINGDOM, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE HEAVENLY FATHERS SPIRIT CHILDREN
2. ADOPTIVE PARENTS EQUAL TO BIOLOGICAL
3. MANKIND EXISTING IN THE BEGINNING CAUSES HUMAN INDEPENDENCE; GODHEAD AS PARENTS, EARTH PARENTS REPRESENTING HOLY GHOST
4. PARENTING IS AN ATONEMENT, REDEEMING OTHER (CHILDREN) UNTO YOUR ETERNAL KINGDOM, BLOOD AS A SYMBOL FOR LIFE
5. THIS LIFE IS A DEFINITIVE ETERNAL PLACEMENT TEST, WE ALL GET EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT
6. CELESTIAL KINGDOM IS DIFFICULT TO OBTAIN, THE JOINT OPERATION OF JUSTICE AND MERCY DON’T ELIMINATE RIGHTEOUS REQUIREMENTS
7. SACRIFICE ALL BUT DESPAIR NOT FOR YOUR CHILDREN, GODS KINGDOM IS GREAT AT EVERY LEVEL
8. SEEK & FIND UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNIVERSE

-OUR CHILDREN WILL CONSTITUTE OUR ETERNAL KINGDOM, EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE HEAVENLY FATHERS SPIRIT CHILDREN: Prophets have taught that the constituents of Gods kingdom are his children, and that he rules over no person save he is their parent. Our kids even though they are the spirit children of heavenly father they really do contribute to our kingdoms because for one the prophets of said so and for two if ever you suffer for someone it’s like buying them, redeeming them, owning them, another word for redeemer is purchaser. Even if your children elect a kingdom of God other than the Celestial, they will forever serve you because of what you have done for them, and thus build your kingdom. So our children’s spirits were created by Heavenly Father, and they will always belong to his kingdom because he helped them use their spirits and suffered to train them, similarly each person has co-residency in the eternal kingdom of their earthly parents, them having taught their children how to use their bodies, and having suffered to train them. We also belong to the kingdom of Jesus Christ, he having made it possible for us to have resurrected bodies, and having suffered to train us. See footnote 1 for a scripture showing how Jesus becomes one of our parents alongside Heavenly Father & Mother and our earthly father & mother.
Heavenly Father & Mother are our parents in clothing our intelligence in spirits and sacrificing for our behalf (Elder Holland did a question and answer session at the Missionary Training Center while I attended, one of the questions was “Why does God love us?” His answer was that he loves us because he raised us from his knee in premortality. From this answer we get a beautiful picture of each of us having established in pre-mortality an intimate parent child relationship with Heavenly Father),
earthly parents are parents in clothing and otherwise training spirits with bodies and sacrificing on their behalf, Jesus Christ is a parent in enabling us to have resurrected bodies and sacrificing on our behalf.
I’ve heard it said that our children are on loan from Heavenly Father and aren’t our own, this is true in a sense, but in another sense, they are very much ours. We are involved in their creation. Think not that after this mortal life our families will be dissolved, and all will return to equality before God the father. No, but family organization will continue to exist there! See D&C 130:2 says ” And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.” These doctrines are the foundation of the long standing religious biblical and LDS idea that a person should have as many children as they can. Both parents and children benefit. Parents are sealed to their children, that is strong language, the strongest we know of, and it’s the same language we hear when learning about our forever relationship to Christ as his children as mentioned in Mosiah 5.

-ADOPTIVE PARENTS EQUAL TO BIOLOGICAL: What of adoptive parents who didn’t sire their children? They’re still involved in the creation of those children as they are training the children how to use their bodies righteously. Elder Holland in a recent General Conference said women don’t just bear their children once, but throughout the lifespan. Further, Jesus Christ is something of an adoptive parent of ours. We take upon ourselves his name, and by that name will we be called at the last day. His name is the name written on the foreheads of the exalted. Taking upon you his name represents joining his club, his way of life, and in so joining and committing to fidelity to his ways, he offers his club members exclusive access to his grace. The doctrine of being adopted into the House of Israel is well known. The scriptures say many times that Christ came to save not everyone, but to save HIS people. Matt 1:21 says “he shall save his people from their sins.” Mosiah 18:20 reads “Yea, even he commanded them that they should preach nothing save it were repentance and faith on the Lord, who had redeemed his people.” When we raise a child, they take upon them our family name, they walk after our ways, and we offer them exclusive insider access to our wealth, our time, our knowledge, our everything.
I’ve heard recently that the atoms in our bodies replace themselves / exchange every 5 years, so we really do become new people as life goes on.
This reminds me of a story of a centennial reporting on being married to the same man over 60 years. She told the reporter that he was mistaken, she had been married to 5 different men throughout her lifetime, not one. The reporter was embarrassed and thought he was in error coming to see this woman. The woman laughed and said something like, ‘let me clarify. I’ve been married to this same person, but he has changed; he is not the same as he was when I married him.’ This story illustrates the very real ability of being born again.

-MANKIND EXISTING IN THE BEGINNING CAUSES HUMAN INDEPENDENCE;
GODHEAD AS PARENTS,
EARTH PARENTS REPRESENTING HOLY GHOST:
Though we have joint residency in the kingdoms of our several parents (heavenly and earthly), we are independent beings destined for our own kingdoms. The D&C teaches that we also existed in the beginning with God, and will thus have no end, and thus are capable of independence in spite of forever worshiping God and our earthly parents. God consists of the Godhead and Heavenly Mother. Elohim the Hebrew word for God strictly translated means gods, Hebrew scholars suggest that this being used in singular form suggests that Elohim refers to God and his wife, or is representative of the enormity of Gods power.
Holy Ghost as a parent? In a way, earthly parents represent the Holy Ghost to their children, witnessing of God to their children. This completes the divine parent’s analogy: Heavenly Father & Mother are your parents, Jesus Christ is your parent, and your earthly parents by being filled with the Holy Ghost are your parents also.

See footnote 2 for a scripture about intelligences existing before earth and them being taken in by the great one being God.

See footnote 3 for a scripture about us being in the beginning with God.

Here are LDS Prophets teaching about intelligence being clothed with spirits by God in premortality:
Spencer W. Kimball, then a member of the Quorum of the Twelve, said, “Our spirit matter was eternal and co-existent with God, but it was organized into spirit bodies by our Heavenly Father” (Spencer W. Kimball, The Miracle of Forgiveness, p. 5, Salt Lake City, 1969). Marion G. Romney said, “Through that birth process, self-existing intelligence was organized into individual spirit beings” (Ensign 8 [Nov. 1978]:14). Bruce R. McConkie, an apostle, said: “Abraham used the name intelligences to apply to the spirit children of the Eternal Father. The intelligence or spirit element became intelligences after the spirits were born as individual entities (Abr. 3:22-24). Use of this name designates both the primal element from which the spirit offspring were created and also their inherited capacity to grow in grace, knowledge, power, and intelligence itself, until such intelligences, gaining the fulness of all things, become like their Father, the Supreme Intelligence” [Bruce R. McConkie, Mormon Doctrine, p. 387].

-PARENTING IS AN ATONEMENT, REDEEMING OTHER (CHILDREN) UNTO YOUR ETERNAL KINGDOM,
& BLOOD AS A SYMBOL FOR LIFE: the atoning blood of Jesus Christ is Jesus shedding his blood which meant giving his life; and so when we give our life force or energy, our attention and concentration to our children, it’s like giving our blood for them; in the Old Testament and elsewhere we learn that blood is symbolic of life itself, this is why the law of Moses forbid drinking the blood of an animal, that being the life force of the animal. it’s wearing out our lives for them, so this means it’s atoning and redeeming them when it comes to parenting children. The word Redeemer comes from buying back; buying that means you own them (in a sense), and they will be a part of your kingdom even if they rebelled and go to the lower kingdoms of God they will still serve you and minister to you on your behalf and will be a pleasant person for you for eternity because of what you’ve done for them, so you don’t need to spend all your time worrying about whether or not your children will or will not make it to the top kingdom of God, they will make it to a kingdom of God, and they will be happy. All except a few sons of Perdition will make it to one of the kingdoms of God; but wo to them who repent not of their sins and do not therefore qualify for Gods greatest blessings.
Why most everyone going to Gods kingdom:
The idea of suffering in purgatory before going to heaven if you didn’t live quite as you should is actually quite correct, except we know that the candidate will receive a lower eternal inheritance if he repents not, despite suffering in purgatory or what we more perfectly call it, the world of spirits, which is the same thing as hell, the prison section of that world anyway. The only permanent hell is a place called outer darkness, and it is reserved for the Devil and his angels, namely the sons of perdition, those who rejected God in premortality, and those who deeply betray God in this life, and who deeply betrayed him in the prior. Outer Darkness is primarily a place for those who fell in premortality. Those who made it to mortality, they are basically all of them going to some place in the kingdom of God, though not all places in that kingdom are equal. There are 3 levels, and in the highest of those, another 3 sub-levels. To get the highest there, you must marry. D&C 131:1-4 shows this clearly: “1 In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; 2 And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; 3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. 4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.”

The atonement/divine intervention you make for others starts not at marriage, but at childbirth. Women still make the same amount of money being single or married, but when they’re a mother, they don’t make as much money (this study sited in A Case for Marriage by Waite and Gallagher). People often mistake marriage as the critical sacrifice beginning, but according to social science, married persons benefit overall, its when the children come that you see what you’re made of, parenting basically being the school and essence of the Gods. Not that marriage isn’t meaningful, but children make it more meaningful.

-THIS LIFE IS A DEFINITIVE ETERNAL PLACEMENT TEST,
WE ALL GET EXACTLY WHAT WE WANT:
We never despair for anyone because this life is the placement test, this is where we get placed; the test is perfect and the grader is perfect and the results are final; we’ve been preparing for eons and millenniums and even longer in the pre-mortality for this little test; it’s a test it’s like walking into a testing center for an hour or maybe a few hours on an exam; compare our life span to the average academic class test. It’s very short in comparison. Pre-mortality was the class, now mortality is the exam. Post-mortality is the assigned reward based on our performance; in each phase there are varying levels of challenge, success, failure, reward, and punishment. The results are final, everyone gets exactly what they want and more; everyone’s going to be pleased by what they get there, though many are going to be a little ticked off that they didn’t do better. But they’re still going to be really happy about what they receive.

-CELESTIAL KINGDOM IS DIFFICULT TO OBTAIN,
THE JOINT OPERATION OF JUSTICE AND MERCY DON’T ELIMINATE RIGHTEOUS REQUIREMENTS:
Do not think that God owes you a place in the Celestial Kingdom. Do you think just anyone can walk into the Celestial Kingdom or the highest degree thereof? The Lord said narrow is that way, and few find it. God is not so wonderfully merciful that he breaks justice; even mercy has its parameters and bounds which the Lord has set; if the Lord were to cease to represent justice, he would cease to be God. Mercy is a fancy way of saying “justice satisfied by a third party based on the contract between the debtor and redeemer”; the life to come is based on this life, this life is the test, it’s not a, “anything goes” test or it wouldn’t really be a test at all; when go to the next life you will be pleased knowing that even if you didn’t get the best, you got better than you deserve. God is kind, and loads all the mercy into your contract he possibly can. The Mormon/LDS view of heaven is much more wonderful and graceful than the way most of Christendom views it – they say it’s all or nothing, whereas Mormonism says there are multiple levels. The multiple level of heaven doctrine allows for the sort of good person to get a sort of good eternal residence, rather than the sort of good person being stuck forever with the most vile of sinners. Logic screams her approval is this type of eternal reward! Praise God for it! The challenge for us is to work out our salvation and become saints through the atonement of Christ the Lord (Mosiah 3:19) while the day of repentance (this life) is still before us (Alma 34:32-33). Repent “while it is called today” the scripture says; the day of this life is today; today ends either with Christ comes in his glory or when we die, whichever comes first. D&C 64:22-25 says, “22 And after that day, I, the Lord, will not hold any guilty that shall go with an open heart up to the land of Zion; for I, the Lord, require the hearts of the children of men. 23 Behold, now it is called today until the coming of the Son of Man, and verily it is a day of sacrifice, and a day for the tithing of my people; for he that is tithed shall not be burned at his coming. 24 For after today cometh the burning—this is speaking after the manner of the Lord—for verily I say, tomorrow all the proud and they that do wickedly shall be as stubble; and I will burn them up, for I am the Lord of Hosts; and I will not spare any that remain in Babylon. 25 Wherefore, if ye believe me, ye will labor while it is called today.” When today is over, time is up, hand in your tests, watch the grader make his judgement.
Conscience must be obeyed if we hope for salvation; it whispers in the small aspects of daily living; Elder Christofferson etc. says conscience is another way of saying the Light of Christ which everyone is born with. If we take upon ourselves the name of Christ, we are heeding what the light/voice of Christ directs; if we neglect that whispering, we develop into a creature not known by the name of Christ, and the devil becomes our shepherd (Alma 5:37-41).

-SACRIFICE ALL BUT DESPAIR NOT FOR YOUR CHILDREN,
GODS KINGDOM IS GREAT AT EVERY LEVEL: So while you’re doing everything you can yearning for them praying for them bleeding for them suffering for them even dying for them, doing everything you can for them, do not despair for them, for they will be saved in the kingdom of God even if in one of the lesser kingdoms and they will rejoice and because of what you’ve done for them, they will serve you forever and you will forever be associated with them in some form because of your bonds of love and feelings of love towards them. The rebellious feelings they have will subside to some degree even if they go to a lower Kingdom they still will be intelligent beings in that lower Kingdom and serviceable to you and causing you to be happy.

See footnote 4 for a scripture showing that only marriages by the priesthood (LDS) are lasting in heaven.

-SEEK & FIND UNDERSTANDING OF THE UNIVERSE: It seems that we are all Little Einstein’s wandering around trying to prove our theories, he was obsessed, so must we be… wandering around trying to figure out the universe. As we go through life we do see that the light and understanding which God enfolds us, of this we become enlightened and we are happy; we have peace in life, but if we stop seeking the mysteries of God we will never be happy; if we stop trying to figure out how the world Works, to figure out how the universe works, to figure out how the laws of the justice of God work, all these things that we need to understand perfectly, we are damned. Don’t damn yourself by giving up; Satan loves when we give up because he doesn’t have to work so hard; in pre-mortality Satan got a large following by persuading people that this mortality thing was just too hard, so why even bother if they’re going to fail so hard anyway.
However the truth is that you can look at yourself and be amazed that you are looking at an offering of deity. You may even faint at the sight! You’ve made it this far so you may as well keep going.
Combine temporal excellence with spiritual excellence & you can have excellent blessings and views (this is not to say to be obsessed with money); you must temporally provide and spiritually provide or both will drown.
We must know that we are the best, that is what it means to be a child of God, that we are the best. We keep trying too. A pillar of faith as taught by Joseph Smith is to know you are in line with God’s will. Being in line with God’s will means you are trying. It means you are being productive in some good way. It means you are acting on good impressions with an increasingly high success rate.
Would to God that all were prophets, as Moses said. You see it is open enrollment. There are not a limited number of chairs. 144000 means 12×12, representing infinity, the number 12 being a priesthood number. Come everyone and partake of your nature of being an offspring of God, get the Holy Ghost and marvel daily at the workings of the universe and the operations of the justice of God. It’s not only a possibility but a duty to seek to understand. Cease this seeking and you damn yourself for intelligence is godliness. Elder Holland reminds us that “seek and ye shall find” is one of the most repeated messages of holy writ. But if you cease to serve the poor in your quest for intelligence, you violate an essential law of heaven, and your intelligence will decay from that moment onward, working to your damnation rather than to your salvation.
Orson Pratt spoke on seeking knowledge and understanding of the things of eternity: “Perhaps you may ask me why I dwell on this . . . subject. In answer, why did the Lord dwell upon it forty-two years ago, if he did not want us, in some measure, to understand it? Would he speak at random? Would he give a revelation without expecting that the people would even try to understand it? If the Lord wished us to understand something, and condescended to reveal something, why should we . . . think that we are stepping over our bounds in trying to comprehend approximately what the Lord desired us to understand . . . It is an old sectarian whim and notion, to suppose that we must not try to understand revelation….Do not suppose, however, that those first principles [of the gospel] are the only ones to be learned; do not become stereotyped in your feelings, and think that you must always dwell upon them and proceed no further. If there be knowledge concerning the future, . . . the present, . . .[the] past, or any species of knowledge that would be beneficial to the mind of man, let us seek it; and that which we cannot obtain by using the light which God has placed within us, by using our reasoning powers, by reading books, or by human wisdom alone, let us seek to a higher source—to that Being who is filled with knowledge, and who has given laws to all things and who, in his wisdom, goodness, justice and mercy, controls all things according to their capacity, and according to the various spheres and conditions in which they are placed.” (Orson Pratt, March 14, 1875, Salt Lake City, 16th Ward, reported by David W. Evans)
On the same account, “It is impossible for a man to be saved in ignorance.” (D&C 131:6)

-These footnote scriptures will greatly help one to understand the foundations which we have built upon in this article, particularly helpful to the non-LDS or recently LDS or lifetime LDS reader who needs some brushing up on the doctrines of becoming children of Christ, premortal intelligences, intelligences existing in the beginning with God as co-independent units, and the need for an LDS marriage to access one’s own eternal kingdom, including forever keeping both one’s spouse and children:

Footnote 1: a scripture showing how Jesus becomes one of our parents alongside Heavenly Father & Mother and our earthly father & mother:
Mosiah 5:7, 9, 10, 12 illustrates the reality of being adopted into the family of Christ: “7 And now, because of the covenant which ye have made ye shall be called the children of Christ, his sons, and his daughters; for behold, this day he hath spiritually begotten you; for ye say that your hearts are changed through faith on his name; therefore, ye are born of him and have become his sons and his daughters….9 And it shall come to pass that whosoever doeth this shall be found at the right hand of God, for he shall know the name by which he is called; for he shall be called by the name of Christ. 10 And now it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall not take upon him the name of Christ must be called by some other name; therefore, he findeth himself on the left hand of God. …12 I say unto you, I would that ye should remember to retain the name written always in your hearts, that ye are not found on the left hand of God, but that ye hear and know the voice by which ye shall be called, and also, the name by which he shall call you.”

Footnote 2: a scripture about intelligences existing before earth and them being taken in by the great one being God:
Abraham 3:18-27: “…as, also, if there be two spirits, and one shall be more intelligent than the other, yet these two spirits, notwithstanding one is more intelligent than the other, have no beginning; they existed before, they shall have no end, they shall exist after, for they are gnolaum, or eternal. 19 And the Lord said unto me: These two facts do exist, that there are two spirits, one being more intelligent than the other; there shall be another more intelligent than they; I am the Lord thy God, I am more intelligent than they all. 20 The Lord thy God sent his angel to deliver thee from the hands of the priest of Elkenah. 21 I dwell in the midst of them all; I now, therefore, have come down unto thee to declare unto thee the works which my hands have made, wherein my wisdom excelleth them all, for I rule in the heavens above, and in the earth beneath, in all wisdom and prudence, over all the intelligences thine eyes have seen from the beginning; I came down in the beginning in the midst of all the intelligences thou hast seen. 22 Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; 23 And God saw these souls that they were good, and he stood in the midst of them, and he said: These I will make my rulers; for he stood among those that were spirits, and he saw that they were good; and he said unto me: Abraham, thou art one of them; thou wast chosen before thou wast born. 24 And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these may dwell; 25 And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them; 26 And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; and they who keep not their first estate shall not have glory in the same kingdom with those who keep their first estate; and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever. 27 And the Lord said: Whom shall I send? And one answered like unto the Son of Man: Here am I, send me. And another answered and said: Here am I, send me. And the Lord said: I will send the first. 28 And the second was angry, and kept not his first estate; and, at that day, many followed after him.”

Footnote 3: a scripture about us being in the beginning with God:
D&C 93:19-36 teaches us about being co-eternal with God, about existing in the beginning with him, and being independent agents in eternity therefore: “19 I give unto you these sayings that you may understand and know how to worship, and know what you worship, that you may come unto the Father in my name, and in due time receive of his fulness. 20 For if you keep my commandments you shall receive of his fulness, and be glorified in me as I am in the Father; therefore, I say unto you, you shall receive grace for grace. 21 And now, verily I say unto you, I was in the beginning with the Father, and am the Firstborn; 22 And all those who are begotten through me are partakers of the glory of the same, and are the church of the Firstborn. 23 Ye were also in the beginning with the Father; that which is Spirit, even the Spirit of truth; 24 And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come; 25 And whatsoever is more or less than this is the spirit of that wicked one who was a liar from the beginning. 26 The Spirit of truth is of God. I am the Spirit of truth, and John bore record of me, saying: He received a fulness of truth, yea, even of all truth; 27 And no man receiveth a fulness unless he keepeth his commandments. 28 He that keepeth his commandments receiveth truth and light, until he is glorified in truth and knoweth all things. 29 Man was also in the beginning with God. Intelligence, or the light of truth, was not created or made, neither indeed can be. 30 All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence. 31 Behold, here is the agency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light (I note, condemnation because he knows fully well what he is doing, he has been around as long as anyone! Everyone has always been here are we’re just showing our stuff, putting it on the line, we all know perfectly well what we’re doing in this life, as we’ll recall in the hereafter; yes we need reminding, the prophet’s cry repentance, but those who heed them not never really planned to anyway). 32 And every man whose spirit receiveth not the light is under condemnation. 33 For man is spirit. The elements are eternal, and spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fulness of joy; 34 And when separated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy. 35 The elements are the tabernacle of God; yea, man is the tabernacle of God, even temples; and whatsoever temple is defiled, God shall destroy that temple. 36 The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth.”

Footnote 4: a scripture showing that only marriages by the priesthood (LDS) are lasting in heaven, that all contracts not sealed by the Priesthood are void after this life, including non-temple marriages and non-sealed posterity:
D&C 132:4-33: “4 For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting covenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory. 5 For all who will have a blessing at my hands shall abide the law which was appointed for that blessing, and the conditions thereof, as were instituted from before the foundation of the world. 6 And as pertaining to the new and everlasting covenant, it was instituted for the fulness of my glory; and he that receiveth a fulness thereof must and shall abide the law, or he shall be damned, saith the Lord God. 7 And verily I say unto you, that the conditions of this law are these: All covenants, contracts, bonds, obligations, oaths, vows, performances, connections, associations, or expectations, that are not made and entered into and sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, of him who is anointed, both as well for time and for all eternity, and that too most holy, by revelation and commandment through the medium of mine anointed, whom I have appointed on the earth to hold this power (and I have appointed unto my servant Joseph to hold this power in the last days, and there is never but one on the earth at a time on whom this power and the keys of this priesthood are conferred), are of no efficacy, virtue, or force in and after the resurrection from the dead; for all contracts that are not made unto this end have an end when men are dead. 8 Behold, mine house is a house of order, saith the Lord God, and not a house of confusion. 9 Will I accept of an offering, saith the Lord, that is not made in my name? 10 Or will I receive at your hands that which I have not appointed? 11 And will I appoint unto you, saith the Lord, except it be by law, even as I and my Father ordained unto you, before the world was? 12 I am the Lord thy God; and I give unto you this commandment—that no man shall come unto the Father but by me or by my word, which is my law, saith the Lord. 13 And everything that is in the world, whether it be ordained of men, by thrones, or principalities, or powers, or things of name, whatsoever they may be, that are not by me or by my word, saith the Lord, shall be thrown down, and shall not remain after men are dead, neither in nor after the resurrection, saith the Lord your God. 14 For whatsoever things remain are by me; and whatsoever things are not by me shall be shaken and destroyed. 15 Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world. 16 Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory. 17 For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever. 18 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife, and make a covenant with her for time and for all eternity, if that covenant is not by me or by my word, which is my law, and is not sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, through him whom I have anointed and appointed unto this power, then it is not valid neither of force when they are out of the world, because they are not joined by me, saith the Lord, neither by my word; when they are out of the world it cannot be received there, because the angels and the gods are appointed there, by whom they cannot pass; they cannot, therefore, inherit my glory; for my house is a house of order, saith the Lord God. 19 And again, verily I say unto you, if a man marry a wife by my word, which is my law, and by the new and everlasting covenant, and it is sealed unto them by the Holy Spirit of promise, by him who is anointed, unto whom I have appointed this power and the keys of this priesthood; and it shall be said unto them—Ye shall come forth in the first resurrection; and if it be after the first resurrection, in the next resurrection; and shall inherit thrones, kingdoms, principalities, and powers, dominions, all heights and depths—then shall it be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life, that he shall commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, and if ye abide in my covenant, and commit no murder whereby to shed innocent blood, it shall be done unto them in all things whatsoever my servant hath put upon them, in time, and through all eternity; and shall be of full force when they are out of the world; and they shall pass by the angels, and the gods, which are set there, to their exaltation and glory in all things, as hath been sealed upon their heads, which glory shall be a fulness and a continuation of the seeds forever and ever. 20 Then shall they be gods, because they have no end; therefore shall they be from everlasting to everlasting, because they continue; then shall they be above all, because all things are subject unto them. Then shall they be gods, because they have all power, and the angels are subject unto them. 21 Verily, verily, I say unto you, except ye abide my law ye cannot attain to this glory. 22 For strait is the gate, and narrow the way that leadeth unto the exaltation and continuation of the lives, and few there be that find it, because ye receive me not in the world neither do ye know me. 23 But if ye receive me in the world, then shall ye know me, and shall receive your exaltation; that where I am ye shall be also. 24 This is eternal lives—to know the only wise and true God, and Jesus Christ, whom he hath sent. I am he. Receive ye, therefore, my law. 25 Broad is the gate, and wide the way that leadeth to the deaths; and many there are that go in thereat, because they receive me not, neither do they abide in my law. 26 Verily, verily, I say unto you, if a man marry a wife according to my word, and they are sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise, according to mine appointment, and he or she shall commit any sin or transgression of the new and everlasting covenant whatever, and all manner of blasphemies, and if they commit no murder wherein they shed innocent blood, yet they shall come forth in the first resurrection, and enter into their exaltation; but they shall be destroyed in the flesh, and shall be delivered unto the buffetings of Satan unto the day of redemption, saith the Lord God. 27 The blasphemy against the Holy Ghost, which shall not be forgiven in the world nor out of the world, is in that ye commit murder wherein ye shed innocent blood, and assent unto my death, after ye have received my new and everlasting covenant, saith the Lord God; and he that abideth not this law can in nowise enter into my glory, but shall be damned, saith the Lord. 28 I am the Lord thy God, and will give unto thee the law of my Holy Priesthood, as was ordained by me and my Father before the world was. 29 Abraham received all things, whatsoever he received, by revelation and commandment, by my word, saith the Lord, and hath entered into his exaltation and sitteth upon his throne. 30 Abraham received promises concerning his seed, and of the fruit of his loins—from whose loins ye are, namely, my servant Joseph—which were to continue so long as they were in the world; and as touching Abraham and his seed, out of the world they should continue; both in the world and out of the world should they continue as innumerable as the stars; or, if ye were to count the sand upon the seashore ye could not number them. 31 This promise is yours also, because ye are of Abraham, and the promise was made unto Abraham; and by this law is the continuation of the works of my Father, wherein he glorifieth himself. 32 Go ye, therefore, and do the works of Abraham; enter ye into my law and ye shall be saved. 33 But if ye enter not into my law ye cannot receive the promise of my Father, which he made unto Abraham.”

-New additions to this document not on the audio version:
-“Echoing the words of the revelation, he (Joseph Smith) taught that men and women were co-eternal with God and could become like Him by “going from a small capacity to a great capacity,” until eventually they dwell “in everlasting burnings.” Speaking with revealed assurance, he taught: “The soul, the mind of man, whare did it come from? The learned says God made it in the beginning, but it is not so. I know better. God has told me so.”(“Discourse, 7 April 1844, as Reported by Wilford Woodruff,” 135, 137, josephsmithpapers.org; punctuation modernized.)” (https://history.lds.org/article/man-was-also-in-the-beginning-with-god?lang=eng)
-Gospel doctrine manual: Mankind may in their resurrected state sire spirit children and lead them through experiences similar to those we currently live in
-add some quote examples of prophets teaching that our children build our eternal kingdom

 

For a converse study about those who don’t remain worthy of eternal parenting and therefore lose their children and future opportunities for more children, see my document “Losing Your Children and Eternal Procreative Power Upon Disobedience”.

 

 

 

 

Losing Your Children and Eternal Procreative Power Upon Disobedience

 

 

-“President Brigham Young explained that our families are not yet ours. The Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. Only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever. What we do on earth determines whether or not we will be worthy to become heavenly parents.“(Gospel Principles [manual, 1997], 231).   (From “The Importance of the Family,” by Elder L Tom Perry, Ensign, May 2003, 40)

 

-“You will clearly perceive, from the revelation which God has given, that you can never obtain a fulness of glory, without being married to a righteous man for time and for all eternity. If you marry a man who receives not the gospel, you lay a foundation for sorrow in this world, besides losing the privilege of enjoying the society of a husband in eternity. You forfeit your right to an endless increase of immortal lives. And even the children which you may be favoured with in this life, will not be entrusted to your charge in eternity, but you will be left in that world without a husband, without a family, without a kingdom, without any means of enlarging yourselves, being subject to the principalities and powers who are counted worthy of families, and kingdoms, and thrones, and the increase of dominions forever. To them you will be servants and angels—that is, provided that your conduct should be such as to secure this measure of glory. Can it be possible that any females, after knowing these things, will suffer themselves to keep company with persons out of this Church? It matters not how great the morality of such persons may be, nor how kind they may be to you, they are not numbered with the people of God; they are not in the way of salvation, they cannot save themselves nor their families, and after what God has revealed upon this subject, you cannot be justified, for one moment, in keeping their company. It would be infinitely better for you to suffer poverty and tribulation with the people of God, than to place yourselves under the power of those who will not embrace the great truth of heaven. By marrying an unbeliever, you place yourselves in open disobedience to the command of God requiring his people to gather together. Do you expect to be saved in direct violation of the command of heaven?” (Elder Orson Pratt, Millennial Star, XV: 584).

 

 

– “The power of procreation is spiritually significant. Misuse of this power subverts the purposes of the Father’s plan and of our mortal existence. Our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son are creators and have entrusted each of us with a portion of Their creative power. Specific guidelines for the proper use of the ability to create life are vital elements in the Father’s plan. How we feel about and use that supernal power will determine in large measure our happiness in mortality and our destiny in eternity.” (We Believe in Being Chaste, By Elder David A. Bednar Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles; https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2013/04/we-believe-in-being-chaste?lang=eng)

-“Modern revelation sets forth the high destiny of those who are sealed for everlasting companionship. They will be given opportunity for a greater use of their powers. That means progress. They will attain more readily to their place in the presence of the Lord; they will increase more rapidly in every divine power; they will approach more nearly to the likeness of God; they will more completely realize their divine destiny. And this progress is not delayed until life after death. It begins here, today, for those who yield obedience to the law.” ( John A. Widtsoe, Evidences and Reconciliations (Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1960), 300.)

-“1 In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; 2 And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this border of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; 3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it. 4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.” (D&C 131:1-4)

 

-“14 ¶ For the kingdom of heaven is as a man travelling into a far country, who called his own servants, and delivered unto them his goods. 15 And unto one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one; to every man according to his several ability; and straightway took his journey. 16 Then he that had received the five talents went and traded with the same, and made them other five talents. 17 And likewise he that had received two, he also gained other two. 18 But he that had received one went and digged in the earth, and hid his lord’s money. 19 After a long time the lord of those servants cometh, and reckoneth with them. 20 And so he that had received five talents came and brought other five talents, saying, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me five talents: behold, I have gained beside them five talents more. 21 His lord said unto him, Well done, thou good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. 22 He also that had received two talents came and said, Lord, thou deliveredst unto me two talents: behold, I have gained two other talents beside them. 23 His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord. 24 Then he which had received the one talent came and said, Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: 25 And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine. 26 His lord answered and said unto him, Thou wicked and slothful servant, thou knewest that I reap where I sowed not, and gather where I have not strawed: 27 Thou oughtest therefore to have put my money to the exchangers, and then at my coming I should have received mine own with usury. 28 Take therefore the talent from him, and give it unto him which hath ten talents. 29 For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath. 30 And cast ye the unprofitable servant into outer darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.” (Matt. 25:14-30)

 

-“And they that will harden their hearts, to them is given the lesser portion of the word until they know nothing concerning his mysteries; and then they are taken captive by the devil, and led by his will down to destruction. Now this is what is meant by the chains of hell.” (Alma 12:11)

 

-Parenting is the opportunity to see how we would do if we were exalted; parenting is the stuff of exaltation; God himself asks that we call him “father”. God has an endless posterity, that is a key factor in his status of Godhood. He told Abraham that he would have access to the endless seed, and this has been reiterated in modern revelation in the D&C, at general conferences of the latter-day saints, etc. Why would someone not obeying God be entrusted with such a power and privilege? The blessing of the righteous is having eternal families. Why would we assume that the wicked would enjoy having an eternal family? Only in sealed families faithful to their covenants do we hear the message that the parent posterity relationship will continue in the hereafter. Your children will be removed from you and planted in another family where they can embrace the blessings of eternal life if you do not afford them that privilege yourselves.

 

-It is commonly taught in the church that aborted babies will needs be reared to marutiry during the Millennium, and therefore parents will have the blessing of bringing as many of these into their family as they wish. ‘How many children do you want?’ they ask. We answer, ‘Can you number the stars in the sky?’ May we keep our covenants so that these our precious ones with us may remain. Not only is the eternal equation of families based largely on the acts of the parents, but family scientists are showing that the behavior of the parent, more so than the behavior of the child, is the greatest predictive factor in child development.

 

 

 

For a converse study about being worthy to remain a parent forever to your current and future children, see my article “Eternal Parenting: An Inheritance from the Lord”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Parent Child Relationship in the Hereafter

 

 

 

Q&A On Exalted Persons being served by their children, and The Eternal Ownership of a Parent to its Child

These are questions from various readers and brief responses with links to further reading.

Question:

Why do you say children will serve their parents in eternity? (Referring to document “Children an inheritance from the Lord http://richardsonstudies.com/2018/02/12/children-heritage-inheritance-lord-parent-eternity/)

Answer:

Perhaps the chief way they will serve us is by bringing us joy in the fruits of their labors, and knowing that we played a part in enabling them for their success. I could point this out a bit more in my writing, thanks. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/parenthood-eternal…/ this speaks of God’s glory being his children (Mosiah 8:15) and parenthood being a code word for exaltation. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/22/gospel-creation-theory/ this is about how humans not just God, have vast power to contribute to the salvation or damnation of other humans. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/20/essential-foot-soldier/ this is more about how to be a parent is to be a God, including going through what look like small roles today which will be exchanged for what are obvious large roles ‘tomorrow’. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/principles-priority…/ this is about family roles of marriage and parenthood being analogous to creation fall and atonement.

Question:

Does our ‘keeping’ our children forever make them less of God’s children, prying them away from God for ourselves? (Referring to document “Children an inheritance from the Lord http://richardsonstudies.com/2018/02/12/children-heritage-inheritance-lord-parent-eternity/)

Answer:

Does Jesus pry us from Heavenly Father by making us his children? Clearly, he has become one of our parents (Mosiah 5:7, see also “sons and daughters of God” in the topical guide https://www.lds.org/scriptures/tg/sons-and-daughters-of-god?lang=eng).
The idea is that we can be essentially adopted into several groups. Heavenly Father’s kingdom, Jesus Christ’s kingdom, our parents’ kingdom (if they were righteous), and build our own kingdom (if we are righteous). There is no prying involved, perhaps unless you let the Devil adopt you, another Book of Mormon doctrine…. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/parenthood-eternal…/ this speaks of God’s glory being his children (Mosiah 8:15) and parenthood being a code word for exaltation. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/22/gospel-creation-theory/ this is about how humans not just God, have vast power to contribute to the salvation or damnation of other humans. http://richardsonstudies.com/…/20/essential-foot-soldier/ this is more about how to be a parent is to be a God, including going through what look like small roles today which will be exchanged for what are obvious large roles ‘tomorrow’.

 

 

 

 

 

Parenthood: The Eternal Fountain of Glory

 

Topics: Exaltation, Parenthood, Plan of Salvation

Mormon 8:15 defines the glory of God as his covenant people. God is full of glory, having a numerous people, and his glory grows forever, the more people come follow him. He continues to have children. Prophets have taught that He doesn’t rule over anyone save they are his child. That is how heaven works. It’s structured in families, and the grand law of the universe is the never-ending cycle of children becoming parents. Parenthood in this setting is the code word for exaltation. Indeed, parenthood is the eternal fountain of glory!

 

 

 

 

 

Developmental Outline Sketch for Raising Children

 

 

 

Themes herein are early autonomy via accountability, home education, empowerment with adult roles / responsibility, attention to family creation, vocation, independence, & respect. Use revelation from God to you to fine tune your personal developmental family outline.

 

  1. Introduction
    1. The children need to know what blessings and expectations we have in store for them. This will result in:
      1. Patience
        1. obedience
      2. Hope
        1. obedience
  • psychological peace/adjustment/satisfaction
    1. obedience
    2. altruism
      1. exaltation
    3. joy
      1. obedience
    4. Herein are duties for both the children and parents.
      1. The children owe it to the parents to strive for these goals
      2. The parents owe it to the children to help them strive for these goals
    5. Age 6-8
      1. Academic
        1. Reading
        2. Writing
  • Basic math
  1. Vocational
    1. Proficiency in house chores
    2. Clean room maintained without reminders
  2. Age 8-12
    1. Dishwashing independence
    2. Learn language of the spirit
    3. Academic
      1. Intro to dance types
      2. Intro to instruments
  • Intro to sciences
  1. Intro to literature types
  2. Intro to writing
  3. Intro to languages
  • Intro to algebra
  • Intro to Physical Education
    1. Intro to Sports
      1. Football, basketball, baseball, soccer, skateboarding, gymnastics, track/field …
      2. Enables kinesthetic learning and social preparation
    2. Distance and Sprint Running required
    3. Fitness Standards to be determined
      1. Pushups
      2. Sit-ups
      3. Pullups
      4. Mile time
    4. Age 12-16
      1. Theme: Self Discovery & Altruism
      2. Laptop
        1. Organize school work
        2. Collect special items
  • Write
  1. Internet as parents dictate
  2. Restrictions if abused / zombie
  1. Temple baptisms
    1. Monthly temple baptisms minimal
    2. Weekly temple baptisms where possible
      1. Recall Don Parry knew a young woman who weekly went to temple, she shined
    3. Academic
      1. School focused on topics of interest
      2. Prep for SAT/ACT
  • 4 years until High School Diploma, translates to beginning 9th grade related studies
  1. School Subjects
    1. Music
      1. At least 1 instrument
        1. Flute, violin, piano, clarinet, saxophone, harp, trumpet, trombone, drums, guitar, …
      2. Music theory & composition
      3. vocals
    2. dance
      1. at least 1 type
      2. No Babylon
      3. Folk, tap, square, swing, ballroom, Irish, …
    3. foreign language
      1. at least 1
      2. ASL, Spanish, French, Hebrew, Greek, Egyptian, Latin, Chinese, Russian, …
    4. Math
      1. Advanced algebra
    5. Physical Education
      1. Proficiency in all sports
        1. Focus on 1 or 2
      2. Fitness Standards to be determined
        1. Pushups
        2. Sit-ups
  • Pullups
  1. Mile time
  2. 3-mile time
  3. 500-meter time
  • 100-meter time
  1. BMI
  1. Drama, Theatre
  2. Literature
  3. Computers
    1. Electronics
    2. Keyboarding
    3. Word processing
    4. Internet Safety
    5. Social Media
    6. Programming
  4. Chemistry
    1. Elements
    2. Balancing equations
  5. Physics
    1. Astronomy
    2. Basics
  6. Biology
    1. Photosynthesis
    2. Human anatomy
    3. Ecosystems
    4. microbiology
  7. English
    1. Poetry readings and composition
    2. Grammar
    3. penmanship
    4. spelling
    5. vocabulary
  8. Government, History, Geography
    1. US
      1. Presidents
      2. Current politics
  • Founding documents & figures
    1. Memorize preamble
    2. Federalism
      1. Checks and balances
    3. Bill of rights
  1. States
  1. World
    1. Country geography
    2. Political systems in countries
  • World leaders
  1. Ancient history
  2. Modern history
  1. Participation in government
  2. Current events
    1. News
    2. Movements
  3. economics
  1. Finance
    1. Planning
    2. Budget
  2. Art
    1. Creation
    2. History
    3. Eras
  3. Subjects of choice
    1. e.. Aviation, mechanics, cars, zoology, veterinarian, medical, scouting, psychology/therapy, parenting, nutrition, culinary, military, EMT, business, …
  4. Vocational Preparation
    1. Career planning
    2. Babysitting
  • Housekeeping proficiency
  1. Gardening proficiency
  1. Gospel Scholarship
    1. Proficiency in all gospel principles
    2. Regular rigorous personal study of the scriptures
  2. Social
    1. At least 1 team sport enrollment
  3. Age 16-18
    1. Theme: Preparation for adulthood
      1. Major increase in trust and responsibility
    2. Cell phone
      1. Turn in at 10pm
      2. Restrictions if abused / zombie
    3. Academic
      1. High School Diploma Acquired
      2. Begin College Associates studies
    4. Dating
      1. Schedule
        1. At least semi-weekly
        2. standard 1/week
        3. once accomplished other duties, free time use for extra dating
      2. formats
        1. Usually with groups
        2. different candidates
        3. only active LDS candidates
  • purposes
    1. learn strengths and weaknesses of various personalities
    2. learn chastity
    3. learn to value marriage, to not postpone it
    4. joy
    5. need to get out there, time to start leaving home regularly
  1. post-date debriefing interviews
    1. complete transparency with parents
    2. analyze spiritual character of candidates
    3. analyze personal feelings
    4. analyze events of date
  2. Car
    1. Enables the date
    2. Increases trust
  • Supports in running errands
  1. Each child needs their own car
    1. Dramatically increases
      1. Responsibility
      2. trust of parents
      3. joy
      4. personal power
      5. self esteem
      6. dating power
      7. ability to support parents via errands etc.
    2. They pay all expenses
  2. Car ownership is a duty, not optional
    1. Mandatory for development
    2. Living in [a rural area, as is healthy for families] particularly necessitates vehicle
  3. Job
    1. Job is a duty, not optional
      1. Mandatory for development
    2. Enables the car which enables the date
  • Enables money to fund dates
  1. Also enables making payments on a loan from a bank (not from parents)
  2. Teaches tithing
  3. Teaches budgeting
  • Teaches savings
    1. Date account
    2. Mission account
    3. College account
    4. Savings account
    5. Free spending “allowance” account
  • Job can’t be before 16 because I’m not going to drive them to work
  1. Gospel Scholarship
    1. Studies based in mission preparation
      1. PMG
      2. Memorization
      3. Teaching Role Play
      4. Community outreach
      5. Social Media proselyting
    2. Age 18-20
      1. Obtain College Associates Degree
      2. Boys
        1. Mission
      3. Girls
        1. Pursue Bachelor’s Degree or Mission
        2. Serious dating -> marriage -> children
  • Apply for scholarships
  1. Move out
    1. Live at home option (discouraged)
      1. Only for online bachelor’s degree pursuit
      2. Pay average (not advantaged) rent: $300/mo.
      3. Buy own food (separate fridge)
      4. Mirror apartment living in every way possible
      5. No curfews, etc.
      6. All babysitting is paid
    2. Age 20-22
      1. Boys
        1. Serious dating -> marriage -> children
        2. College Bachelor studies
  • Full time job
  1. Apply for scholarships
  2. Move out
    1. Live at home option (highly discouraged)
      1. Only for online bachelor’s degree pursuit
      2. Pay average (not advantaged) rent: $300/mo.
      3. Buy own food (separate fridge)
      4. Mirror apartment living in every way possible
      5. No curfews, etc.
      6. All babysitting is paid
    2. Age 22-24
      1. Live at hope option expires
        1. Exception:
          1. Show satisfactory progress in university studies with set graduation date
          2. Show satisfactory in all other developmental areas
        2. Age 24 +
          1. Live at home option expires, no exceptions
          2. Come see us at least once a month
          3. Call mom once a week for her sake

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Priority Parenting and Family Structure

 

For an Audio lecture similar to this text: click here or use this URL https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B39k4ZFVUPhuU3B1aDNoR1NTTHhveXRKUHBKYWhGN2RqcjFR/view?usp=drivesdk

These are my ideas I take full responsibility for them, they apply to most situations I say.
-Two great sins of omission are 1. not having children (such was the first commandment to Adam and Eve) and 2. not taking care of the children you have born.
-A single parent should have their top priority, besides the immediate needs of their children, to be finding another parent for those children, or for finding a spouse with whom they can have children, hence avoiding the top crimes against humanity
-The law of two witnesses requires that there be a mother and a father in a home to establish and execute law. If the children have law, they learn how to live in a society. The only way a society can function is if it has laws which are 1. clearly established and 2. executed according to the established agreement of law.
-Children are subordinate and not able to make law until the age of adult, 18. At that age they do participate. But before children become adults, they are to be ruled by parents. Yes, that ruling is to be benevolent, but it is not to be weak
-Statistically speaking, those children of a one parent household don’t have as great of aspirations in life, they are not as directed, not as successful generally speaking. Some defy the consensus, yes there are some particular who can, but such should not be expected of these children. The children have the RIGHT to a father and a mother, two people living in the same home, whom love each other and the children, whom work together to make laws to govern their children, and work together to calculate and prepare the way for the success of their children.
-When a couple have a child, they are to put aside all differences and stay together for that child. In extreme cases of selfishness, a couple will divorce. Usually both persons have more they could sacrifice to keep the marriage together, but it is true that it’s “very important that the family be right” as President Kimball has said. Both are to speak with each other on what they need to have occur in order to keep the marriage together. Children are ENTITLED to a father and a mother living together loving and guiding them in marriage, this is proclaimed in The Family: A Proclamation To The World issued by Jehovah via the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So the parents are to 1. have children and 2. to put aside everything that will get in the way of them being able to continue to fulfill their role as father or mother.
-The children who grow up without a father or mother in the home are NEGLECTED according to the Family Proclamation, which claims that they have the RIGHT to being born to a father and mother and raised by them. Some children find ways to be successful despite growing up in single parent homes, but this was never the way it was meant to be by God.
-Will God, up in yonder heaven, rule the lives of the people, causing those children to grow up in single parent homes to have no disadvantage? Is that what the scripture saying that Jehovah will be father to the fatherless? He will care for their eternal salvation, ensuring that they have the opportunities to become mature like He is. But the way that God helps is mostly by teaching his people about how families are designed to be, and he passes that message along. He has told us how the family is to be. When we reject that, we and our children suffer. Our children particularly suffer now, and we whom neglect them, if we don’t suffer now, will pay for the suffering we have caused in the life to come. So does God just take care of our children should we choose to diverse, or our spouse die? No, he expects us to remarry, and give this children what they are entitled to, a mother AND a father. He has declared this his will by the mouth of his servants. What they say is what he says, “as if from mine own mouth it is the same”. So are the children blessed as though they have two parents when they are only raised by one? No. One principal way that God blesses the children is by teaching the parents how to take care of them.
-Gods people have his laws. They are to infiltrate these virtuous teachings into the world primarily by having children, who file into earth, and spread the message of the parents. Hence, the more children you can have, the more you can influence for good. This is why Elder Oaks has answered the question of how many children a couple should have by teaching that as many children as a couple can take care of is how many they should have.
-Exodus 20 verse 5 and 6: “Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me;
6 And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.” These are directly from the ten commandments which we revere. Just because we believe that the sins of the parent aren’t answerable upon the head of the child (Article of Faith 2), doesn’t mean that children won’t suffer in this life because of the iniquity of their parents. God will not be mocked. Being from a single parent home I can witness that yes, Jesus helps, but also yes, Exodus 20 is the word of God. These are principals of the gospel. Choices have consequences that are painfully real to everyone involved, and with boldness I’ve written this plea that people arise and take more stock in their actions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Parenting Notes

-“There is not a young man in our community who would not be willing to travel from here to England to be married right, if he understood things as they are; there is not a young woman in our community, who loves the gospel and wishes its blessings, that would be married in any other way; they would live unmarried until they could be married as they should be, if they lived until they were as old as Sarah before she had Isaac born to her. Many of our brethren have married off their children without taking this into consideration, and thinking it a matter of little of importance. I wish we all understood this in the light in which heaven understands it.” (Brigham Young, JD 11:118, see JD 12:97)

-“Child rearing is so individualistic. Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another” (President James E. Faust, 1990, November, “The greatest challenge in the world—Good parenting,” Ensign, 20(11), 34).

-the company of parents is one of the greatest blessings of life -JS teachings

-remember how many hours they spent worrying over us in our cradles when we were sick, and be thus mindful of their feelings in their old age so they don’t go down to their grave in sorrow -JS teachings

-JS last words to his mother “God bless you mother” -JS teachings.

-Les Misérables Jean Val Jean saves the boy his daughter loves for her sake.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Administering Mercy as a Parent in Zion: Words of the Prophets

 

 

 

 

(While Avoiding Overly Enabling)

 

 

(Evidences for Authoritative preferred to Authoritarian parenting)

(For my companion document showing another side titled “Parenting with Strictness While Avoiding Abuse” http://richardsonstudies.com/2018/08/09/parenting-with-s…e-avoiding-abuse/ )

-““When ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God.”That concept is easy for mothers and fathers to understand. Parental love includes gratitude for service extended to any of their children, especially in their time of need. I was amused recently when one of our grown children confided that she had always thought that she was her daddy’s favorite daughter. She was surprised to discover later that each of her eight sisters harbored that same feeling. Only when they had become mothers themselves did they realize that parents hardly have favorites.” (“Teach Us Tolerance and Love” by Russell M. Nelson Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1994/04/teach-us-tolerance-and-love?lang=eng))

-Alex Jensen (BYU social development professor) thinks authoritative is the preferred, not a mix of authoritative and authoritarian

-Alex Jensen (BYU professor of family life) says the defining aspect of authoritarian is control; who is in power/control. If the parent is getting the child to do things from commands of “I told you to do it now do it” that is typical of authoritarian. Use of physical punishments is also authoritarian.

-The scripture says reprove betimes with sharpness, this suggests the sharp aspect is infrequent

-authoritative doesn’t withdraw love; authoritarian would say “you did this bad thing, no hugs or kisses tonight, and I’m not going to speak to you for 6 hours.”

-authoritative punishments are very related to the offence; you break it you buy it; you spill it you clean it; etc.

-authoritative parenting can involve a swat at times if need to show the pain that action will bring says Mark Butler SFL BYU; he gave the example of him swatting his kids leg hard when his kid ran in the street since he wanted to show his kid that if this continues, pain like that but greater will come from a car hitting him. He said “I wish you didn’t have to experience this but it is for your protection”

-authoritative likely involves coming down to the child’s level, “I noticed this is happening. Why is that? Don’t you remember I asked you to do this other? So you want a different thing? Let’s make a compromise. Let’s set up a reward. Let’s remember what natural consequences will come if you don’t do this thing I have asked.”

-“I have never had a tinge of regret for being a little too kind” (LDS Church President Thomas S. Monson)

-Alex Jensen says that though spanking may be effective on some level, he has never done it since he is afraid that he would not be able to control himself if he entered that threshold.

-Alex Jensen says that in our culture, authoritative parenting is the most effective.

-authoritative emphasizes “do’s”, authoritarian emphasizes “don’ts”

-authoritative uses reasoning power to guide, leads to secure attachment, results in the child being liked by both adults and peers. But authoritarian/ heavy power assertion leads to aggression in the child and peers not liking the child.

-an LDS parenting manual uses a story of a parent who is angry and going to discipline a child but before he reaches the child calms down, and speaks with the child peaceably.

-“Parents should never drive their children, but lead them along, giving them knowledge as their minds are prepared to receive it. Chastening may be necessary betimes, but parents should govern their children by faith rather than by the rod, leading them kindly by good example into all truth and holiness” (Discourses of Brigham Young, sel. John A. Widtsoe [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1941], p. 208). (This is cited in the Parent Guide LDS manual)

-“The emotional climate in the home establishes either a positive or a negative learning environment. Climate means “the weather you can expect in a certain place.” What is the “weather” in your home? Is it warm, comfortable, secure; or is there too much thunder, lightning, and cold? Occasionally a teaching moment will arise out of an atmosphere of tension and anxiety, but most effective teaching moments occur in loving, peaceful, respectful circumstances, when the “feeling” is right and when the climate in a relationship is peaceful.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-Referring to a young woman tired of her parent always asking her if she had been unchaste and being standoffish/distant toward her,  “She has her agency, and she chose to be unchaste. But what might have happened had her mother loved and kissed her daughter as she left to go on a date, and if afterward she had invited her daughter to share her experiences in a private, respectful way? If parents show and express their love and give accurate information without nagging and repeating themselves endlessly, children are more likely to listen and be influenced for good.” (LDS Parent Guide)

-“ For your own sake, for the love that should exist between you and your boys—however wayward they might be … when you speak or talk to them, do it not in anger, do it not harshly, in a condemning spirit. Speak to them kindly; get them down and weep with them if necessary and get them to shed tears with you if possible. Soften their hearts; get them to feel tenderly toward you. Use no lash and no violence, but … approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. … Get them to feel as you feel, have interest in the things in which you take interest, to love the gospel as you love it, to love one another as you love them; to love their parents as the parents love the children. You can’t do it any other way” (Joseph F Smith, Gospel Doctrine,5th ed. [Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939], p. 316).” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“ Unkind parenting can plant seeds of self-doubt and even confusion about the gender role. These seeds can germinate into personal problems in the following years unless parents change and show increased affection and acceptance.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“ They need continual intimate contact with their parents. It is in this intimate closeness that their future relationships begin to develop.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“ Harsh correction could diminish their self-esteem and make them anxious about trusting others… Patient, kind acceptance of young children’s efforts to learn will help them have good feelings about themselves and feel confident in loving their parents. Through all stages of growth, children need parental encouragement. Punishment for failure will make them feel inferior and unwilling to develop close relationships. Pressure to progress faster than they are ready can create emotional frustration” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-““When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind” (Joseph Smith, History of the Church, 5:24).” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“Be loving when you correct your children. Do not withhold affection from them as a way to chastise them, for they may not learn to give affection to others. Physical or emotional abuse may teach a child that cruelty is the normal way to treat other people. Do not spank a child in this age-group with any force and never with an instrument. Also, avoid making a child fearful by locking him in a dark room or threatening to leave him alone.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“One couple sent their bright, energetic, and occasionally mischievous three-year-old out of the room when she became disobedient, but they never shut the door. The child was not cut off from the security of the voices, sounds, or lights in the rest of the house. When she regained control of herself, she wandered back to a warm welcome.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“A child has the right to feel that in his home he has a place of refuge, a place of protection from the dangers and evils of the outside world. Family unity and integrity are necessary to supply this need” (“Six Small Essays,” Improvement Era, Sept. 1965, p. 757) (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“-“In spiritual matters some suppose that men and women need not strive for personal righteousness—because God loves and saves us “just as we are.” But God intends that His children should act according to the moral agency He has given them, “that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment.”2 It is His plan and His will that we have the principal decision-making role in our own life’s drama. God will not live our lives for us nor control us as if we were His puppets, as Lucifer once proposed to do. Nor will His prophets accept the role of “puppet master” in God’s place. Brigham Young stated: “I do not wish any Latter Day Saint in this world, nor in heaven, to be satisfied with anything I do, unless the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ,—the spirit of revelation, makes them satisfied. I wish them to know for themselves and understand for themselves.” So God does not save us “just as we are,” first, because “just as we are” we are unclean, and “no unclean thing can dwell … in his presence; for, in the language of Adam, Man of Holiness is his name, and the name of his Only Begotten is the Son of Man [of Holiness].”4 And second, God will not act to make us something we do not choose by our actions to become. Truly He loves us, and because He loves us, He neither compels nor abandons us. Rather He helps and guides us. Indeed, the real manifestation of God’s love is His commandments. We should (and we do) rejoice in the God-ordained plan that permits us to make choices to act for ourselves and experience the consequences, or as the scriptures express it, to “taste the bitter, that [we] may know to prize the good.”” (Elder Christofferson “Free Forever to Act for Themselves”, Oct. 2014  Conf. Report) ” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“[parents’] only purpose in dealing with a child is to bless the child with their efforts. If what they are doing is causing the child to be angry or to experience physical or emotional harm, then their efforts need to cease until they can determine a better course to follow. A wise parent separates himself from the child at a moment when the parent feels such anger and frustration. Sending the child to his room or placing an infant in his crib until the parent has regained composure will often be helpful. If it is not sufficient for the parent to separate himself from the child to regain control, then a parent will do well to get himself and the child in the company of other adults. The presence of another adult or older child usually stimulates a change in the behavior and attitude of both the parent and the child.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“Few will depart from virtue permanently if they are taught in love.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“Parents can mistakenly attribute adult characteristics to adolescents who look like adults but are largely children. They need more time and experience before being expected to act and think completely as adults.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“Parents often give far too much negative counsel to their teenagers. While it is true that you must solemnly warn your teenagers against all types of sin, you should place more emphasis upon the goodness of growing up. God himself, viewing his creation of this earth, pronounced it “good” (see Genesis 1:31). Teach your children that it is good to mature and that adolescence can be filled with beauty and power. Praise them for their spiritual development and maturity.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“I will here say to parents, that kind words and loving actions towards children, will subdue their uneducated natures a great deal better than the rod, or, in other words, than physical punishment. Although it is written that, “The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame,” and, “he that spareth his rod hateth his son; but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes;” these quotations refer to wise and prudent corrections. Children who have lived in the sunbeams of parental kindness and affection, when made aware of a parent’s displeasure, and receive a kind reproof from parental lips, are more thoroughly chastened, than by any physical punishment that could be applied to their persons. It is written, that the Lord “shall smite the earth with the rod of his mouth.” And again it is written, “a whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool’s back.” The rod of a parent’s mouth, when used in correction of a beloved child, is more potent in its effects, than the rod which is used on the fool’s back. When children are reared under the rod, which is for the fool’s back, it not unfrequently occurs, that they become so stupified and lost to every high-toned feeling and sentiment, that though you bray them in a mortar among wheat with a pestle, yet will not their foolishness depart from them. Kind looks, kind actions, kind words, and a lovely, holy deportment towards them, will bind our children to us with bands that cannot easily be broken; while abuse and unkindness will drive them from us, and break asunder every holy tie, that should bind them to us, and to the everlasting covenant in which we are all embraced. If my family; and my brethren and sisters, will not be obedient to me on the basis of kindness, and a commendable life before all men, and before the heavens, then farewell to all influence. Earthly kings and potentates obtain influence and power by terrorism, and maintain it by the same means. Had I to obtain power and influence in that way, I should never possess it in this world nor in the next. Fathers who send their little boys and girls on the plains and ranges, to herd their cattle and sheep, and drag them out of bed very early in the morning, to go out in the cold and wet, perhaps without shoes and but scantily clad otherwise, are cruel to their offspring, and when their children arrive at years of maturity, they will leave the roof under which they have received such oppression, and free themselves from the control of parents, who have acted towards them, more like task-masters than natural protectors. It is in this unnatural school that our thieves have their origin, and where they receive their first lessons in dishonesty and wild recklessness. Mark the path in which a number of our boys have travelled, from the time they were eight or ten years of age, to sixteen, eighteen and twenty. Have they been caressed and kindly treated by their parents, sent to school, and when at home taught to read good books, taught to pray themselves, and to hear their parents pray? Have they been accustomed to live and breathe in a peaceful, quiet, heavenly influence when at home? No. Then can you wonder that your children are wild, reckless and ungovernable? They care not for a name, or standing in society, every noble aspiration is blunted; for they are made to go here or there, like mere machines, at the beck and call of tyrant parents, and are uncultivated and uncivilized. This picture will apply to a few of our young men. Let parents treat their children as they themselves would wish to be treated, and set an example before them that is worthy of you as Saints of God. Parents are responsible before the Lord, for the way in which they educate and train their children, for “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord; and the fruit of the womb is his reward. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” (Brigham Young, Journal of Discourses Vol. 10, 360-362; find it here https://www.fairmormon.org/answers/Journal_of_Discourses/10/66) (a portion of the above quote is also featured in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“None of us know what course our children will take. We set good examples before them, and we strive to teach them righteous principles; but when they come to years of accountability they have their agency and they act for themselves.” (Teachings of the Presidents of The Church: Wilford Woodruff, Ch. 16; https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-wilford-woodruff/chapter-16?lang=eng&_r=1)

– “Discipline with love. ‘“Discipline” and “punishment” are not synonymous. Punishment suggests hurting, paying someone back for a wrong committed. Discipline implies an action directed toward a goal … of helping the recipient to improve himself’ (William E. Homan, ‘How to Be a Better Parent,’ Reader’s Digest, Oct. 1969, p. 188). Discipline should always be with love” (Elder Ben Banks, in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 40; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 29; cited in Eternal Marriage manual, see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Parents can provide an atmosphere of reverence and respect in the home if they teach and guide their children with love.” (Gospel Principles Ch 37 “Family Responsibilities”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-37-family-responsibilities?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“A worthy father who is a member of the Church has the opportunity to hold the priesthood, making him the priesthood leader of his family. He should guide his family with humility and kindness rather than with force or cruelty. The scriptures teach that those who hold the priesthood should lead others by persuasion, gentleness, love, and kindness” (see D&C 121:41–44Ephesians 6:4). (Gospel Principles Ch 37 “Family Responsibilities”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-37-family-responsibilities?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“A mother needs to spend time with her children and teach them the gospel. She should play and work with them so they can discover the world around them. She also needs to help her family know how to make the home a pleasant place to be. If she is warm and loving, she helps her children feel good about themselves.” (Gospel Principles Ch 37 “Family Responsibilities”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-37-family-responsibilities?lang=eng&_r=1)

– “Bible verses in the book of Proverbs that have been interpreted to be in favor of spanking children: Proverbs 13:24 says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chastenth him betimes.” Proverbs 29:15 says, “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” Proverbs 23:13-14 says, “Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” These verses have been interpreted many ways. Most people interpret them to mean that children need to be hit with branches, sticks, and reeds, which is one definition of the Hebrew word “shebet” interpreted means “rod.” However, the word shebet has also been interpreted to mean authority, clan or tribe, and has been known to mean God’s authority as well. Due to the poetic nature of the book of Proverbs and the multiple interpretations of the word “rod” some people think that the term means something metaphorical; such as to use the scriptures to reproof or teach children, or that parents need to remember to exercise their authority over the children in order to help the children have a proper upbringing. Sometimes the truth can sting like a rod might hurt the flesh. So children would not die from the pain of truth. However, there have been cases when parents have beat their children to death with rods and reeds, so it appears that Proverbs 23:13-14 cannot mean to literally beat a child with a rod. A few other Bible verses that give further understanding to parents about disciplining children: Hebrews 12: 6-11 talks about the importance of chastening. Specifically verse eleven says, “Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.” Ephesians 6:4 says, “Now, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Colossians 3:21 says, “Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.” 2Timothy 3:16 says, “All scripture is given by the inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” This second sampling of Bible verses instructs parents to by calm but firm in correcting and instructing children. They tell parents not to be angry or aggressive, but to use words of truth and reproof. In Hebrews it even says that correction should lead to more peace in the family. These verses suggest that parents are to love and rear their children in righteousness and without any anger.” (ldsmag.com; not an official church publication; https://ldsmag.com/can-spanking-be-okay-sometimes/)”

-An episode of Brigham Young’s parenting: “a small son of his had the habit of knocking his spoon and his bowl of bread and milk to the floor whenever it was placed in front of him. The child’s mother was perplexed. Brigham counseled her: “The next time he knocks the dish from your hand lean him against the chair, do not say one word to him, [and] go to your work.” The mother did this. The child at first stood by the chair and looked at his mother, then at what he had knocked onto the floor. Finally, he crawled to the spoon and the bowl and placed them back on the table. The child never knocked them from the table again. Of his wife’s action President Young said, “She might have whipped him and injured him, as a great many others would have done; but if they know what to do, they can correct the child without violence” (LBY, xxv).” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 “Parental Responsibility”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“That President Young lived the principles he taught is evidenced by his daughter Susa’s description of him as “an ideal father. Kind to a fault, tender, thoughtful, just and firm. … None of us feared him; all of us adored him” (LSBY, 356)” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 “Parental Responsibility”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“Nurture your children with love and the admonitions of the Lord. Rearing happy, peaceful children is no easy challenge in today’s world, but it can be done, and it is being done. Responsible parenthood is the key. Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured of that often. Obviously, this is a role parents should fill, and most often the mother can do it best. …” (Ezra Taft Benson, Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“A successful parent is one who has loved, one who has sacrificed, and one who has cared for, taught, and ministered to the needs of a child. If you have done all of these and your child is still wayward or troublesome or worldly, it could well be that you are, nevertheless, a successful parent. Perhaps there are children who have come into the world that would challenge any set of parents under any set of circumstances. Likewise, perhaps there are others who would bless the lives of, and be a joy to, almost any father or mother” (Howard W Hunter, in Conference Report, Oct. 1983, 94; or Ensign, Nov. 1983, 65). (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“Some of you have children who do not respond to you, choosing entirely different paths. Father in Heaven has repeatedly had that same experience. While some of His children have used His gift of agency to make choices against His counsel, He continues to love them. Yet, I am sure, He has never blamed Himself for their unwise choices” (Richard G Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 43; or Ensign, May 1993, 34). (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“Hold family councils to discuss family plans and concerns. Some of the most effective family councils are one on one with each family member. Help our children know their ideas are important. Listen to them and learn from them. …” (Robert D Hales in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 41–44; or Ensign, May 1999, 33–34; Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“Nothing is so much calculated to lead people to forsake sin as to take them by the hand, and watch over them with tenderness. When persons manifest the least kindness and love to me, O what power it has over my mind, while the opposite course has a tendency to harrow up all the harsh feelings and depress the human mind” (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 240) (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“18 percent fewer kids were spanked or beaten (using an object like a paddle or a belt) in 2010 than in 1975. But almost half of all 8- and 9-year-olds are still hit by their parents; and younger kids aren’t exempt from the damaging abuse, either. Research shows that kids who are spanked or hit with an object have lower IQs; they shut down their learning powers. They are also more aggressive, particularly boys, and get in more trouble than kids who are not spanked. Children who are spanked also have sexual problems and low self-esteem as adults. So what can you do when your child is a pain in the neck? Understand what’s going on. Children act out when they don’t have words to express their frustration and anger. To teach your 4-year-old to express his thoughts and feelings, you can put words in his mouth. You might say, “I know you’re feeling tired and wish we could go home, but we can’t. We have to finish grocery shopping.” This helps him release the tension he feels from being trapped somewhere he doesn’t want to be and shows him what he could say to you to make you understand his feelings. It doesn’t always work; sometimes you just have to leave the store before you want to. But it’s important to offer that help so he can learn impulse control and to use words in place of actions. And remember, whenever you feel like spanking your child, take a deep breath and count to 10. You’re the grown-up and should be able to come up with an expressive and thoughtful alternative to hitting your child.” (Michael Roizen, M.D., Deseret News, https://www.deseretnews.com/article/765579398/Spanking-not-best-way-to-discipline-your-child.html)

– “You will be far more successful with love as your watchword than you will be with a whip or lash or anything of the kind.” (Gordon B Hinckley, cited in https://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html)

-“have never accepted the principle of ‘spare the rod and spoil the child.’ I am persuaded that violent fathers produce violent sons. Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Conference Report, Nov. 1994).

-“Above all else, children need to know and feel they are loved, wanted, and appreciated. They need to be assured often of that” (Ezra Taft Benson, Ensign, Nov. 1982, 60).

-“Use no lash and no violence, but . . . approach them with reason, with persuasion and love unfeigned. . . You can’t do it any other way. You can’t do it by unkindness; you cannot do it by driving. . . . You can’t force your boys, nor your girls into heaven. You may force them to hell, by using harsh means in the effort to make them good, when you yourselves are not as good as you should be. The man that will be angry at his boy, and try to correct him while he is in anger, is in the greatest fault. You can only correct your children by love, in kindness, by love unfeigned, by persuasion, and reason” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed., SLC: Deseret Book Co., 1939, 316-317)

-“It is not by the whip or the rod that we can make obedient children; but it is by faith and by prayer, and by setting a good example before them” (Brigham Young, Deseret News Weekly, 9 Aug. 1865, 3).

– “My father never laid a hand upon me except to bless me” (Gordon B Hinckley, “Go Forward with Faith”, pg. 141)

-“now days if a parent spanks a child it is likely that the child will have been taught by their school that this is abuse. This teaching encourages children to tell on their parents or to report their parents to authorities even when the spanking was going to be done with love and calmness. Since there are people telling children what is right and wrong instead of parents being the authority on what is right and wrong parents have just cause to abandon spanking as an acceptable parenting practice to protect their families from government intrusion.” (Meridian Magazine (not an official church publication), Nicholeen Peck (author of
A House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government ) 2014 “Can Spanking be ok Sometimes?”  https://ldsmag.com/can-spanking-be-okay-sometimes/)

-“The genius of our Church government is government through councils. … I have had enough experience to know the value of councils. Hardly a day passes but that I see the wisdom, God’s wisdom, in creating councils: to govern his Kingdom” (Stephen L Richards, in Conference Report, Oct. 1953, 86; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“If parents are immature and cannot settle their differences without anger, fighting, and name-calling, a child becomes most insecure, and as he grows older he is apt to take up with the wrong type of friends just to get away from an unhappy home environment” (Elder Delbert L. Stapley, in Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 45; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Often parents communicate most effectively with their children by the way they listen to and address each other. Their conversations showing gentleness and love are heard by our ever-alert, impressionable children” (Elder Marvin J Ashton in Conference Report, Apr. 1976, 81; or Ensign, May 1976, 53; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“It helps children to see that good parents can have differing opinions and that these differences can be worked out without striking, yelling, or throwing things. They need to see and feel calm communication with respect for each other’s viewpoints so they themselves will know how to work through differences in their own lives” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 10; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 9; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness” (Marion G Romney, in Conference Report, Apr. 1980, 88, 90; or Ensign, May 1980, 66–67; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“The first and most important inner quality you can instill in a child is faith in God. The first and most important action a child can learn is obedience. And the most powerful tool you have with which to teach a child is love. (David O McKay, See Instructor, Dec. 1949, p. 620)” (quoted by L Tom Perry, in Conference Report, Apr. 1983, 106; or Ensign, May 1983, 78; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“A principal purpose for discipline is to teach obedience. President David O. McKay stated: ‘Parents who fail to teach obedience to their children, if [their] homes do not develop obedience society will demand it and get it. It is therefore better for the home, with its kindliness, sympathy and understanding, to train the child in obedience rather than callously to leave him to the brutal and unsympathetic discipline that society will impose if the home has not already fulfilled its obligation’ (The Responsibility of Parents to Their Children, p. 3)” (James E Faust in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 41–42; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 34; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Motherhood consists of three principal attributes or qualities: namely, (1) the power to bear, (2) the ability to rear, (3) the gift to love. …This ability and willingness properly to rear children, the gift to love, and eagerness, yes, longing to express it in soul development, make motherhood the noblest office or calling in the world” (David O McKay, Gospel Ideals, 453; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Love is the very essence of family life. Why is it that the children we love become so frequently the targets of our harsh words? Why is it that these children who love their fathers and mothers sometimes speak as if with daggers that cut to the quick? ‘There is beauty all around,’ only ‘when there’s love at home’ (Hymns, no. 294)” (Gordon B Hinckley, in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 83; or Ensign, May 1989, 67; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“parents, who had once been hitters and spankers, had made the shift to calm, firm self-government parenting. Their thirteen-year-old son was “out of instructional control” and the father was calmly going through the Rule of Three to help the son become calm and ready to receive his negative consequence. Then the son said, “Just hit me Dad. It would be quicker. Just hit me.” I loved this great moment for this reformed father. He saw clearly that his son used the previous beatings as a way of not taking responsibility for his actions. He also clearly saw that the child didn’t have to accept the consequence or become calm for a beating to occur. When he did those beatings he was denying his child the opportunity to accept his consequence as something he earned. For justice to be completely effective the guilty must acknowledge his wrongdoing.” (Meridian Magazine (not an official church publication), Nicholeen Peck (author of
A House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government ) 2014 “Can Spanking be ok Sometimes?”  https://ldsmag.com/can-spanking-be-okay-sometimes/)

-“Let parents treat their children as they themselves would wish to be treated, and set an example before them that is worthy of you as Saints of God.” (DNW,7 Dec. 1864, 2) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; study their dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly, never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of passion; teach them to love you rather than to fear you.” (DBY, 207) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“In our daily pursuits in life, of whatever nature and kind, Latter-day Saints … should maintain a uniform and even temper, both when at home and when abroad. They should not suffer reverses and unpleasant circumstances to sour their natures and render them fretful and unsocial at home, speaking words full of bitterness and biting acrimony to their wives and children, creating gloom and sorrow in their habitations, making themselves feared rather than loved by their families. Anger should never be permitted to rise in our bosoms, and words suggested by angry feelings should never be permitted to pass our lips. “A soft answer turneth away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger [Proverbs 15:1].” “Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous;” but “the discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression [Proverbs 19:11]”” (DBY, 203–4)

-“In passing through the world I see that the most of parents are very anxious to govern and control their children. As far as my observations have gone I have seen more parents who were unable to control themselves than I ever saw who were unable to control their children. If a mother wishes to control her child, in the first place let her learn to control herself, then she may be successful in bringing the child into perfect subjection to her will. But if she does not control herself how can she expect a child,—an infant in understanding—to be more wise, prudent and better than one of grown age and matured?” (DNSW, 12 July 1870, 2)

-“I can pick out scores of men in this congregation who have driven their children from them by using the wooden rod. Where there is severity there is no affection or filial feeling in the hearts of either party; the children would rather be away from father than be with him.” (DBY, 203)

-“It is not by the whip or the rod that we can make obedient children; but it is by faith and by prayer, and by setting a good example before them.” (DNW, 9 Aug. 1865, 3)

-“I do not believe in making my authority as a husband or a father known by brute force; but by a superior intelligence—by showing them that I am capable of teaching them. … If the Lord has placed me to be the head of a family, let me be so in all humility and patience, not as a tyrannical ruler, but as a faithful companion, an indulgent and affectionate father, a thoughtful and unassuming superior; let me be honored in my station through faithful diligence, and be fully capable, by the aid of God’s Spirit, of filling my office in a way to effect the salvation of all who are committed to my charge.” (DNW, 23 July 1862, 2)

-“At times our children may not be in possession of a good spirit; but if the parent continues to possess the good Spirit, the children will have the bad spirit but a short time. … Rule in righteousness, and in the fear and love of God, and your children will follow you.” (DNSW,7 Apr. 1868, 3)

-“Kind looks, kind actions, kind words, and a lovely, holy deportment towards them will bind our children to us with bands that cannot easily be broken; while abuse and unkindness will drive them from us, and break asunder every holy tie that should bind them to us and to the everlasting covenant in which we are all embraced. If my family, and my brethren and sisters will not be obedient to me on the basis of kindness, and a commendable life before all men, and before the heavens, then farewell to all influence.” (DNW, 7 Dec. 1864, 2)

-“You ought always to take the lead of your children in their minds and affections. Instead of being behind with the whip, always be in advance, then you can say, “Come along,” and you will have no use for the rod. They will delight to follow you, and will like your words and ways, because you are always comforting them and giving them pleasure and enjoyment. If they get a little naughty, stop them when they have gone far enough. … When they transgress, and transcend certain bounds we want them to stop. If you are in the lead they will stop, they cannot run over you; but if you are behind they will run away from you.” (DNSW, 8 Dec. 1868, 2–3)

-“A child loves the smiles of its mother, but hates her frowns. I tell the mothers not to allow the children to indulge in evils, but at the same time to treat them with mildness. If a child is required to step in a certain direction, and it does not seem willing to do so, gently put it in the desired way, and say, There, my little dear, you must step when I speak to you. Children need directing and teaching what is right in a kind, affectionate manner.” (DBY, 209)

-“How often we see parents demand obedience, good behavior, kind words, pleasant looks, a sweet voice and a bright eye from a child or children when they themselves are full of bitterness and scolding! How inconsistent and unreasonable this is!” (DBY, 208)

-“Let the father and mother, who are members of this Church and Kingdom, take a righteous course, and strive with all their might never to do a wrong, but to do good all their lives; if they have one child or one hundred children, if they conduct themselves towards them as they should, binding them to the Lord by their faith and prayers, I care not where those children go, they are bound up to their parents by an everlasting tie, and no power of earth or hell can separate them from their parents in eternity; they will return again to the fountain from whence they sprang.” (DBY, 208).

(Handbook for Families: Disciplining with Love, LDS Ensign Sept. 1985 https://www.lds.org/ensign/1985/09/disciplining-with-love?lang=eng)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Administering Justice as a Parent in Zion: Words from the Prophets

 

 

 

(While Avoiding Abuse)

(For my companion document showing another side titled “Parenting with Gentleness While Avoiding Overly Enabling” http://richardsonstudies.com/2018/08/09/parenting-with-gentleness-while-avoiding-overly-enabling/)

(*Note, spanking or other physical harm is likely never ok, and prophets have taught it likely does more harm than good, and that there are more appropriate and effective ways for child discipline.)

-1 Sam. 3 the Lord punishes Eli for not restraining his children from doing evil. It seems Eli lost his priesthood for this offence.

-we lose our children by sending them to public school where outrageous peer pressures consume them, and attitudes are learned which are never unlearned.

-should we allow our kids to swear like sailors? I worked at a youth rehab where this was allowed and entirely disapprove. A basic level of respect is required. I stopped working there because my presence suggested that I agreed with that pitiful policy. I’ve seen other rehabs with a strict language policy which are much safer and successful environments for rehabilitation into adulthood and working lifestyles.

-showing great displeasure at repeated disobedience expresses to the child that you are serious

-kids don’t need a lot of free time

-kids don’t need tons of friends

-public schools move too slowly or for some subjects move on without comprehension and are not catered to each child’s needs

-essential core fundamental curriculum exams must be passed at 100% before the student can move on

-President Boyd K Packer says no one owes a child entertainment

-President Spencer W Kimball taught in his book “Faith Proceeds the Miracle” that large amounts of free time for children is not natural and not healthy.

-referring to “spare the rod spoil the child”: The rod can be strict rules of respect in the home and enforced in usually non-physical ways, but must be enforced. Don’t physically harm them.  “You will be far more successful with love as your watchword than you will be with a whip or lash or anything of the kind.” (Gordon B Hinckley, cited in https://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html)

-“have never accepted the principle of ‘spare the rod and spoil the child.’ I am persuaded that violent fathers produce violent sons. Children don’t need beating. They need love and encouragement” (Gordon B. Hinckley, Ensign, Conference Report, Nov. 1994).

 

-‘stand in holy places till the Lord come’ we have to not wait around for the popular ideas of the masses, but to be bold, not subjecting our children to more evil than is needed.  Like the young tree who needs a rope in the wind to not fall over, we want to put ropes on it, not to add wind.

-a key to giving your children clean environments and media etc. is that there is so much good, you don’t need to mess with the bad. Why go to a place where there is known immodesty where there are others with the beauty of nature? Or why a song of evil, when so many songs of both holiness and fun which are wholesome? Or why waste time with entertainment when there is so much wholesome and enjoyable things to learn?

-Isaiah says to turn the foot and ear away from violence

-for media decisions: is the violence glorified or to show the consequences of someone’s poor choices?

-one of the prophets, Hinckley? Encouraged the men to control their anger, and the women to control their voice levels. But that doesn’t mean a parent can’t take some sort of controlled actions lead to a child learning self-control, which leads to good behavior, and less temptation to resort to anger or yelling.

-“ Our children are responsible for their own behavior. Give them the opportunity to sit in council with you, however informal and spontaneous. Give them clear counsel to guide them, and let them practice following that counsel. They must feel the weight of decision making and, at times, the pain of error.” (Parent Guide Manual LDS)

– “Fathers and mothers counsel (advise, teach) their children as they sit in council (ponder, listen, discuss) together. It is inconceivable that their counsel is given rudely or harshly, although they must sometimes be solemn and stern as they deal with children who may be rebellious.” (Parent Guide Manual LDS)

-your “role as a parent requires that you pass judgments on your children and correct them as necessary” (Parent Guide Manual LDS)

– “you can react with concern, candor, and practical steps to correct the error” (Parent Guide Manual LDS). Here it is undefined by what is meant by “practical steps”, leaving that open to our interpretation.

-“At times you must express love in a firm and stern way. But even after you have rebuked your children, if you then make sure they know that you love them, they usually accept the guidance and teaching they receive.” (Parent Guide Manual LDS)

–“The home is the best place in the world to teach the child self-restraint, to give him happiness in self-control, and respect for the rights of others. I feel that the first contribution of the home to the happiness of the child is to impress him with the fact that there are bounds beyond which he cannot go with safety; second, to teach him to be considerate of the rights of others;” (David O McKay, “Home … and the Strength of Youth,” Improvement Era, Aug. 1959, p. 583).

(LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“This phase is the time to make sure your children establish habits of good nutrition, hygiene, grooming, and exercise. Help them develop appetites for healthy rather than junk foods. If you encourage them in frequent, vigorous physical exercise and play, they can develop enjoyable habits with lifelong benefits… Whatever your child’s situation, encourage him during this period to acquire habits of self-respect, hygiene, and attention to his body’s condition.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual, in the chapter about 4-11 year olds)

-“ this is a special period of development in which parents should teach courtesy, honesty, fidelity, mercy, good humor, and spiritual integrity. Interpersonal relationships may be divided into three basic categories: courteous, affectionate, and intimate. Children must learn the differences between these categories and what is proper within each” (LDS Parent Guide Manual, in the chapter about 4-11 year olds)

-“only occasionally will a child see on television healthy male-to-male or female-to-female affection. Frequently the language, voice tones, and body mannerisms shown by televised entertainment do not portray the gentle affection for which the Savior’s followers ought to strive.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“Teach your daughters and your sons to seek opportunities to learn and to exploit every such opportunity fully. Girls and boys should learn all they can about every subject within their capabilities. They should nurture and develop their gifts (see D&C 46:11–26), striving always to achieve their full potential and to fill the measure of their creation (see D&C 88:19).

Girls ought to be taught the arts and sciences of housekeeping, domestic finances, sewing, and cooking. Boys need to learn home repair, career preparation, and the protection of women.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“We understood well before we came to this vale of tears that there would be sorrows, disappointments, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears; but in spite of all, we looked down and saw this earth being made ready for us, and we said in effect, Yes, Father, in spite of all those things I can see great blessings that could come to me as one of thy sons or daughters… You will need to develop yourself and grow in ability and power and worthiness, to govern such a world with all of its people. You are sent to this earth not merely to have a good time or to satisfy urges or passions or desires. You are sent to this earth, not to ride merry-go-rounds, airplanes, automobiles, and have what the world calls ‘fun.’ You are sent to this world with a very serious purpose. You are sent to school, for that matter, to begin as a human infant and grow to unbelievable proportions in wisdom, judgment, knowledge, and power” (The Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, ed. Edward L. Kimball [Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1982], p. 31). (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

– The following account is about a father who explained the why behind a rule forbidding cussing (particularly the specific word used was explained as to its vulgarity), and also gave a punishment. ““Am I grounded for cussing?” The father then realized that, for this boy, the biggest issue was bad language. Oh well, he thought, parenthood is a lifetime program. Hoping that in mercy he had enlightened his son, he dispensed justice. “Yes, you’re grounded until 8:00 P.M. tonight for using improper language.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“ Love unfeigned is the most powerful force in the world because it brings the ability to direct one’s efforts toward God’s purposes rather than toward our purposes.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“ Love unfeigned is the most powerful force in the world because it brings the ability to direct one’s efforts toward God’s purposes rather than toward our purposes.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual) I’ve included this quote here to suggest that when we fail to discipline it is a lack of love, and that when we do need discipline, we must control ourselves and only give the appropriate amount the child needs.

-“In spiritual matters some suppose that men and women need not strive for personal righteousness—because God loves and saves us “just as we are.” But God intends that His children should act according to the moral agency He has given them, “that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment.”2 It is His plan and His will that we have the principal decision-making role in our own life’s drama. God will not live our lives for us nor control us as if we were His puppets, as Lucifer once proposed to do. Nor will His prophets accept the role of “puppet master” in God’s place. Brigham Young stated: “I do not wish any Latter Day Saint in this world, nor in heaven, to be satisfied with anything I do, unless the Spirit of the Lord Jesus Christ,—the spirit of revelation, makes them satisfied. I wish them to know for themselves and understand for themselves.” So God does not save us “just as we are,” first, because “just as we are” we are unclean, and “no unclean thing can dwell … in his presence; for, in the language of Adam, Man of Holiness is his name, and the name of his Only Begotten is the Son of Man [of Holiness].”4 And second, God will not act to make us something we do not choose by our actions to become. Truly He loves us, and because He loves us, He neither compels nor abandons us. Rather He helps and guides us. Indeed, the real manifestation of God’s love is His commandments. We should (and we do) rejoice in the God-ordained plan that permits us to make choices to act for ourselves and experience the consequences, or as the scriptures express it, to “taste the bitter, that [we] may know to prize the good.”” (Elder Christofferson “Free Forever to Act for Themselves”, Oct. 2014  Conf. Report)

-“It is relatively easy for you to sit in council and to counsel, urge, or even require children between four and eleven to behave virtuously. There is nothing wrong with expecting your children to be good long before they enjoy it. But there is much for parents to repent of if they shirk their duty and avoid the stress of such discipline.” (LDS Parent Guide Manual)

-“I call upon parents throughout Zion to do what you can to induce your sons and daughters to walk in the paths of righteousness and truth and to improve the opportunities before them.” (Teachings of the Presidents of The Church: Wilford Woodruff, Ch. 16)

-“In our zeal to preach the Gospel to the people of all nations, we should not forget the duties devolving upon us in regard to the proper bringing up of our own children, instilling in them, when young, a love for truth and virtue, and reverence for sacred things, and affording them a knowledge of the principles of the Gospel.” (Teachings of the Presidents of The Church: Wilford Woodruff, Ch. 16; https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-wilford-woodruff/chapter-16?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“By bringing these choice spirits to earth, each father and each mother assume towards the tabernacled spirit and towards the Lord Himself by having taken advantage of the opportunity He offered, an obligation of the most sacred kind, because the fate of that spirit in the eternities to come, the blessings or punishments which shall await it in the hereafter, depend, in great part, upon the care, the teachings, the training which the parents shall give to that spirit. No parent can escape that obligation and that responsibility, and for the proper meeting thereof, the Lord will hold us to a strict accountability. No loftier duty than this can be assumed by mortals.” (Teachings of the Presidents of The Church: Heber J Grant, Ch. 22; https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-heber-j-grant/chapter-22?lang=eng&_r=1)

– “To have successful homes, values must be taught, and there must be rules, there must be standards, and there must be absolutes. Many societies give parents very little support in teaching and honoring moral values. A number of cultures are becoming essentially valueless, and many of the younger people in those societies are becoming moral cynics. … Child rearing is so individualistic. Every child is different and unique. What works with one may not work with another. I do not know who is wise enough to say what discipline is too harsh or what is too lenient except the parents of the children themselves, who love them most. It is a matter of prayerful discernment for the parents. Certainly the overarching and undergirding principle is that the discipline of children must be motivated more by love than by punishment. …Direction and discipline are, however, certainly an indispensable part of child rearing. If parents do not discipline their children, then the public will discipline them in a way the parents do not like. Without discipline, children will not respect either the rules of the home or of society” (Elder James E Faust, in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 40–41; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 32–34; cited in Eternal Marriage manual, see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“No man can ever become a ruler in the Kingdom of God, until he can perfectly rule himself; then is he capable of raising a family of children who will rise up and call him blessed” (Discourses of Brigham Young, 265; cited in Eternal Marriage manual, see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

– “Parents, can we first consider the most painful part of your problem? If you want to reclaim your son or daughter, why don’t you leave off trying to alter your child just for a little while and concentrate on yourself. The changes must begin with you, not with your children. You can’t continue to do what you have been doing (even though you thought it was right) and expect to unproduce some behavior in your child, when your conduct was one of the things that produced it. There! It’s been said! After all the evading, all the concern for wayward children. After all the blaming of others, the care to be gentle with parents. It’s out! It’s you, not the child, that needs immediate attention. Now parents, there is substantial help for you if you will accept it. I add with emphasis that the help we propose is not easy, for the measures are equal to the seriousness of your problem. There is no patent medicine to effect an immediate cure. And parents, if you seek for a cure that ignores faith and religious doctrine, you look for a cure where it never will be found. When we talk of religious principles and doctrines and quote scripture, interesting, isn’t it, how many don’t feel comfortable with talk like that. But when we talk about your problems with your family and offer a solution, then your interest is intense. Know that you can’t talk about one without talking about the other, and expect to solve your problems. Once parents know that there is a God and that we are his children, they can face problems like this and win. If you are helpless, he is not. If you are lost, he is not. If you don’t know what to do next, he knows. It would take a miracle, you say? Well, if it takes a miracle, why not” (Boyd K. Packer, in Conference Report, Oct. 1970, 119–20; cited in Eternal Marriage manual, see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“It is simply absurd to imagine that if a child has the seed of falsehood and evil sown in its mind through life, you will all at once be able to sow in that mind one crop of truth and have it bring forth a harvest of truth. … We would look upon a farmer as a natural born idiot who would call upon everybody who passed his farm to throw in a few seeds of weeds, to do this for a period of twenty-one years, and then expect he could sow a crop of grain and expect to get a good harvest. I may know the multiplication table, and my wife may also, but I cannot on that account expect my children to be born with a knowledge of the multiplication table in their heads. I may know that the Gospel is true, and my wife may know it; but I do not imagine for one moment that my children will be born with this knowledge. We receive a testimony of the Gospel by obeying the laws and ordinances thereof; and our children will receive that knowledge exactly the same way; and if we do not teach them, and they do not walk in the straight and narrow path that leads to eternal life, they will never receive this knowledge. I have heard people say that their children were born heirs to all the promises of the new and everlasting covenant, and that they would grow up in spite of themselves, with a knowledge of the Gospel. I want to say to you that this is not a true doctrine, and it is in direct opposition to the commandment of our Heavenly Father. We find that it is laid down to the Latter-day Saints, not as an entreaty, but as a law, that they should teach their children” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Heber J Grant, Ch. 22; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-heber-j-grant/chapter-22?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“I have heard men and women say that they were going to let their sons and daughters grow to maturity before they sought to teach them the principles of the gospel, that they were not going to cram the gospel down them in their childhood, before they were able to comprehend it. When I hear men and women say this, I think they are lacking faith in the principles of the gospel and do not comprehend it as they should. The Lord has said it is our duty to teach our children in their youth, and I prefer to take His word for it rather than the words of those who are not obeying His commandments. It is folly to imagine that our children will grow up with a knowledge of the gospel without teaching.” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Heber J Grant, Ch. 22; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-heber-j-grant/chapter-22?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“I pray that the Lord will give to the parents of the youth an understanding and appreciation of the dangers and temptations to which their children are subjected, that they may be led and guided to encourage their children, to direct them, to teach them how to live as the Lord would have them live.” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Heber J Grant, Ch. 22; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-heber-j-grant/chapter-22?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“If we as parents will so order our lives that our children will know and realize in their hearts that we are in very deed Latter-day Saints, that we actually know what we are talking about, they, by seeking after the Lord, will get that same testimony.” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Heber J Grant, Ch. 22; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-heber-j-grant/chapter-22?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“I would rather die in poverty knowing that my family could testify that, to the best of my ability with which God had endowed me, I had observed His laws and kept His commandments, and by my example, had proclaimed the gospel, than to have all the wealth of the world.” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Heber J Grant, Ch. 22; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-heber-j-grant/chapter-22?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“The little things are the big things sewn into the family tapestry by a thousand threads of love, faith, discipline, sacrifice, patience, and work” (James E Faust in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 43; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 35; cited in Eternal Marriage manual, see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“There are two areas I would determine to improve if that privilege were granted to me to have young children in our home once again. The first would be to spend more time as husband and wife in a family executive committee meeting learning, communicating, planning, and organizing to better fulfill our roles as parents. The second wish I would like, if I could have those years over, would be to spend more family time” (L Tom Perry, in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 49; or Ensign, May 1994, 37; cited in Eternal Marriage manual, see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“the invitation to repent is an expression of love. … If we do not invite others to change or if we do not demand repentance of ourselves, we fail in a fundamental duty we owe to one another and to ourselves. A permissive parent, an indulgent friend, a fearful Church leader are in reality more concerned about themselves than the welfare and happiness of those they could help.” (D. Todd Christofferson, “The Divine Gift of Repentance,” Ensign, Nov. 2011, 39.)

-“Children share with their parents the responsibilities of building a happy home. They should obey the commandments and cooperate with other family members. The Lord is not pleased when children quarrel (see Mosiah 4:14). The Lord has commanded children to honor their parents. He said, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land” (Exodus 20:12). To honor parents means to love and respect them. It also means to obey them. The scriptures tell children to “obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right” (Ephesians 6:1). President Spencer W. Kimball said that children should learn to work and to share responsibilities in the home and yard. They should be given assignments to keep the house neat and clean. (See Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 120.)” (Gospel Principles Ch 37 “Family Responsibilities”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/gospel-principles/chapter-37-family-responsibilities?lang=eng&_r=1)

-“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chastenth him betimes.” (Proverbs 13:24)

-“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” (Proverbs 29:15)

-“Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.” (Proverbs 23:13-14)

-“That President Young lived the principles he taught is evidenced by his daughter Susa’s description of him as “an ideal father. Kind to a fault, tender, thoughtful, just and firm. … None of us feared him; all of us adored him” (LSBY, 356)” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 “Parental Responsibility”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“Nurture your children with love and the admonitions of the Lord. Rearing happy, peaceful children is no easy challenge in today’s world, but it can be done, and it is being done. Responsible parenthood is the key” (Ezra Taft Benson, Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“Children must be taught right from wrong. They can and must learn the commandments of God. They must be taught that it is wrong to steal, lie, cheat, or covet what others have. Children must be taught to work at home. They should learn there that honest labor develops dignity and self-respect. They should learn the pleasure of work, of doing a job well. The leisure time of children must be constructively directed to wholesome, positive pursuits. Too much time viewing television can be destructive, and pornography in this medium should not be tolerated. It is estimated that growing children today watch television over twenty-five hours per week. Communities have a responsibility to assist the family in promoting wholesome entertainment. What a community tolerates will become tomorrow’s standard for today’s youth. Families must spend more time together in work and recreation. Family home evenings should be scheduled once a week as a time for recreation, work projects, skits, songs around the piano, games, special refreshments, and family prayers. Like iron links in a chain, this practice will bind a family together, in love, pride, tradition, strength, and loyalty. Family study of the scriptures should be the practice in our homes each Sabbath day. Daily devotionals are also a commendable practice, where scripture reading, singing of hymns, and family prayer are a part of our daily routine.… Parents must prepare their children for the ordinances of the gospel. …” (Ezra Taft Benson, Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“The home is what needs reforming. Try today, and tomorrow, to make a change in your home by praying twice a day with your family. … Ask a blessing upon every meal you eat. Spend ten minutes … reading a chapter from the words of the Lord in the [scriptures]. … Let love, peace, and the Spirit of the Lord, kindness, charity, sacrifice for others, abound in your families. Banish harsh words, … and let the Spirit of God take possession of your hearts. Teach to your children these things, in spirit and power. … Not one child in a hundred would go astray, if the home environment, example and training, were in harmony with … the gospel of Christ.’ (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine,5th ed., Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1939, p. 302.)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1982, 86–87; or Ensign, Nov. 1982, 60–61; see also “Salvation—A Family Affair,” Ensign, July 1992, 4–5).

-“Obviously, family values mirror our personal priorities. Given the gravity of current conditions, would parents be willing to give up just one outside thing, giving that time and talent instead to the family? Parents and grandparents, please scrutinize your schedules and priorities in order to ensure that life’s prime relationships get more prime time! Even consecrated and devoted Brigham Young was once told by the Lord, ‘Take especial care of your family’ (D&C 126:3). Sometimes it is the most conscientious who need this message the most!” (Neil Maxwell, in Conference Report, Apr. 1994, 121; or Ensign, May 1994, 90). (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“As parents, we are sometimes too intimidated to teach or testify to our children. I have been guilty of that in my own life. Our children need to have us share spiritual feelings with them and to teach and bear testimony to them.” (Robert D Hales in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 41–44; or Ensign, May 1999, 33–34; Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“Even that beloved and wonderfully successful parent President Joseph F. Smith pled, ‘Oh! God, let me not lose my own.’ That is every parent’s cry, and in it is something of every parent’s fear. But no one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying. You have every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children will call your name blessed” (Jeffrey R Holland, in Conference Report, Apr. 1997, 48; or Ensign, May 1997, 36). (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

– “To this end we advise and urge the inauguration of a ‘Home Evening’ throughout the Church, at which time fathers and mothers may gather their boys and girls about them in the home and teach them the word of the Lord. … If the Saints obey this counsel, we promise that great blessings will result. Love at home and obedience to parents will increase. Faith will be developed in the hearts of the youth of Israel, and they will gain power to combat the evil influences and temptations which beset them” (First Presidency (Joseph F. Smith, Anthon H. Lund, Charles W. Penrose), “Home Evening,” Improvement Era, June 1915, 733–34). (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

– “Hold family home evenings every week without fail. This is a wonderful time to share your testimony with your children. Give them an opportunity to share their feelings about the gospel. Help them learn to recognize when they feel the presence of the Spirit. Family home evenings will help create an island of refuge and security within your own home” (Elder Joe J Christensen, in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 14; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 12). (Cited in Eternal Marriage manual, “Parenthood: Creating a Gospel Centered Home”; see https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

– Surveys show that about 50% of parents today support spanking, which is down from 90% in the 1950s. (From https://education.byu.edu/youcandothis/spanking.html)

-“The world has been groomed to think of spanking is abuse. The United Nations signed a document in 1989 declaring that children all over the world have the same 45 rights. These rights include things like the right to play and the right to freedom from punishment. The document also says that every child has the right not to be abused, but abuse isn’t really spelled out which leaves the determination about abuse vague dangerous to interpret. I could go into great detail about the social dangers of a country following this CRC document, but will stick to the topic of punishment for now. Luckily the United States has not ratified this document as law, so many of the absurd rights that would destroy the role of parents and make the government the parent are not really enforceable. However, these false rights are being taught to teachers and in schools as well as to government agencies as real rights even though they are not really law. So, now days if a parent spanks a child it is likely that the child will have been taught by their school that this is abuse. This teaching encourages children to tell on their parents or to report their parents to authorities even when the spanking was going to be done with love and calmness.” (Meridian Magazine (not an official church publication), Nicholeen Peck (author of
A House United: Changing Children’s Hearts and Behaviors by Teaching Self Government ) 2014 “Can Spanking be ok Sometimes?”  https://ldsmag.com/can-spanking-be-okay-sometimes/) (*Some try to “spank with love” but I don’t think it’s a good idea based on what prophets have taught about child discipline.)

-“Successful parents have found that it is not easy to rear children in an environment polluted with evil. Therefore, they take deliberate steps to provide the best of wholesome influences. Moral principles are taught. Good books are made available and read. Television watching is controlled. Good and uplifting music is provided. But most importantly, the scriptures are read and discussed as a means to help develop spiritual-mindedness” (Spencer W Kimball, in Conference Report, Apr. 1984, 6–7; or Ensign, May 1984, 6; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

– “I would make the family home evening times on Monday night a family council meeting where children were taught by parents how to prepare for their roles as family members and prospective parents. Family home evening would begin with a family dinner together, followed by a council meeting, where such topics as the following would be discussed and training would be given: temple preparation, missionary preparation, home management, family finances, career development, education, community involvement, cultural improvement, acquisition and care of real and personal property, family planning calendars, use of leisure time, and work assignments. The evening could then be climaxed with a special dessert and time for parents to have individual meetings with each child” (L Tom Perry, in Conference Report, Oct. 1980, 8–9; or Ensign, Nov. 1980, 9; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

– “Each family organization should include a family council comprised of all members of the family unit. Here the basic responsibilities of the family organization can be taught to the children. They can learn how to make decisions and act upon those decisions. Too many are growing to marriageable age unprepared for this responsibility. Work ethics and self-preparedness can be taught in a most effective way in a family council. President J. Reuben Clark, Jr., has paraphrased an old statement. ‘“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,”’ he would say. ‘But all play and no work makes Jack a useless boy.’ (As quoted by Harold B. Lee, ‘Administering True Charity,’ address delivered at the welfare agricultural meeting, 5 Oct. 1968)” (L Tom Perry, in Conference Report, Apr. 1981, 119; or Ensign, May 1981, 88; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“While few human challenges are greater than that of being good parents, few opportunities offer greater potential for joy. Surely no more important work is to be done in this world than preparing our children to be God-fearing, happy, honorable, and productive. Parents will find no more fulfilling happiness than to have their children honor them and their teachings. It is the glory of parenthood. John testified, ‘I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth’ (3 John 1:4)” (James E Faust, in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 40; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 32–33; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“We are to teach and train our children in the ways of the Lord. Children should not be left to their own devices in learning character and family values, or in listening to and watching unsupervised music or television or movies as a means of gaining knowledge and understanding as to how to live their lives!” (Elder David B Haight, in Conference Report, Oct. 1992, 105; or Ensign, Nov. 1992, 75–76; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

-“Although the Lord chastised the leading brethren, and indeed all parents in Zion, for parental delinquency, he indicated that repentance is possible. But he also said that if we did not repent, we would be removed out of our place. (see D&C 93:41–50.) Not only do the scriptures instruct us on when teaching is best done (see D&C 68:25–32Deuteronomy 8:5–9) but also on what should and should not be taught (see Moroni 7:14–192 Nephi 9:28–29) and who should and should not do the teaching (see 2 Nephi 28:14, 31Mosiah 23:14)” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 112; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 81). (Elder H Verlan Andersen in Conference Report, Oct. 1991, 112; or Ensign, Nov. 1991, 81; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

– “Now, I, the Lord, am not well pleased with the inhabitants of Zion, for there are idlers among them; and their children are also growing up in wickedness; they also seek not earnestly the riches of eternity, but their eyes are full of greediness. These things ought not to be, and must be done away from among them; wherefore, let my servant Oliver Cowdery carry these sayings unto the land of Zion.” (D&C 68:31-32)

– “Work together. I do not know how many generations or centuries ago someone first said, ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ Children need to work with their parents, to wash dishes with them, to mop floors with them, to mow lawns, to prune trees” (Gordon B Hinckley, “Four Simple Things to Help Our Families and Our Nations,” Ensign, Sept. 1996, 7; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

– “‘In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread’ is not outdated counsel. It is basic to personal welfare. One of the greatest favors parents can do for their children is to teach them to work. Much has been said over the years about children and monthly allowances, and opinions and recommendations vary greatly. I’m from the ‘old school.’ I believe children should earn their money needs through service and appropriate chores. Some financial rewards to children may also be tied to educational effort and the accomplishment of other worthwhile goals. I think it is unfortunate for a child to grow up in a home where the seed is planted in the child’s mind that there is a family money tree that automatically drops ‘green stuff’ once a week or once a month” (Elder Marvin J Ashton, One for the Money, 8; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“ the best teachers of the principle of work are the parents themselves… Children need to learn responsibility and independence. Are the parents personally taking the time to show and demonstrate and explain so that children can, as Lehi taught, ‘act for themselves and not … be acted upon’? (2 Nephi 2:26)” (James E Faust in Conference Report, Oct. 1990, 42; or Ensign, Nov. 1990, 34).” ; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng)

– “The remarks of President J. Reuben Clark, Jr., given fifty-six years ago, are instructive today. He said: ‘It is the eternal, inescapable law that growth comes only from work and preparation, whether the growth be material, mental, or spiritual. Work has no substitute’ (in Conference Report, Apr. 1933, p. 103). More recently, Elder Howard W. Hunter counseled: ‘The first recorded instruction given to Adam after the Fall dealt with the eternal principle of work. The Lord said: “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread.” (Gen. 3:19.) Our Heavenly Father loves us so completely that he has given us a commandment to work. This is one of the keys to eternal life. He knows that we will learn more, grow more, achieve more, serve more, and benefit more from a life of industry than from a life of ease’ (Ensign, Nov. 1975, p. 122)” (Joseph B Worthlin in Conference Report, Apr. 1989, 9; or Ensign, May 1989, 8; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

– “Teach your children to work and to take responsibility. Especially in urban settings, too many children are growing up in an environment where they do not have enough to do. They are like the young thirteen-year-old boy who was asked what he did all day in the summer. He said, ‘Well, I get up in the morning about ten or eleven. Then my mom gets me something to eat. Then maybe I’ll go with some of the guys and play a little basketball, maybe watch TV, and then go down to the mall and “hang out” for a while—sorta watch the girls and stuff.’ …I like what President Spencer W. Kimball has said on this topic: ‘We want you parents to create work for your children’” (Elder Joe J Christensen, in Conference Report, Oct. 1993, 13; or Ensign, Nov. 1993, 12; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“‘All children have claim upon their parents for their maintenance until they are of age’ (D&C 83:4). In addition, their spiritual welfare should be ‘brought to pass by the faith and covenant of their fathers’ (D&C 84:99). As regards little children, the Lord has promised that ‘great things may be required at the hands of their fathers’ (D&C 29:48).” (James E Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 44–45, 47; or Ensign, May 1993, 35, 37; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Mothers seem to take a dominant role in preparing children to live within their families, present and future. Fathers seem best equipped to prepare children to function in the environment outside the family.” (James E Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 44–45, 47; or Ensign, May 1993, 35, 37; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“One authority states: ‘Studies show that fathers have a special role to play in building a child’s self-respect. They are important, too, in ways we really don’t understand, in developing internal limits and controls in children.’ He continues: ‘Research also shows that fathers are critical in establishment of gender in children. Interestingly, fatherly involvement produces stronger sexual identity and character in both boys and girls. It is well established that the masculinity of sons and the femininity of daughters are each greater when fathers are active in family life’ (Karl Zinsmeister, “Do Children Need Fathers?” Crisis, Oct. 1992). (James E Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 44–45, 47; or Ensign, May 1993, 35, 37; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Parents in any marital situation have a duty to set aside personal differences and encourage each other’s righteous influence in the lives of their children. …Perhaps we regard the power bestowed by Elijah as something associated only with formal ordinances performed in sacred places. But these ordinances become dynamic and productive of good only as they reveal themselves in our daily lives. Malachi said that the power of Elijah would turn the hearts of the fathers and the children to each other. The heart is the seat of the emotions and a conduit for revelation (see Malachi 4:5–6). This sealing power thus reveals itself in family relationships, in attributes and virtues developed in a nurturing environment, and in loving service. These are the cords that bind families together, and the priesthood advances their development. In imperceptible but real ways, the ‘doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul [and thy home] as the dews from heaven’ (D&C 121:45). (James E Faust, in Conference Report, Apr. 1993, 44–45, 47; or Ensign, May 1993, 35, 37; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“In ancient times a fortress required regular inspections to ensure that no weak spots developed that an enemy could take advantage of, and guards in the watchtowers ensured that no enemy could approach undetected. In other words, once a city was fortified, a constant effort was made to maintain the fortress so that it could serve its purpose. By establishing a security system of our own, we can prevent the enemy from finding and exploiting weaknesses in our family fortress through which he could gain access to, and harm, our most precious treasure, our family.” (Horacia A Toronio, in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 29–30; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 23–24; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-”One of the watchtowers on our fortress can be the regular habit of a father’s interview with each member of his family” (Horacia A Toronio, in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 29–30; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 23–24; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“Our Heavenly Father has given us as parents the stewardship of caring for and protecting our families. It is a responsibility that we cannot and must not delegate.” (Horacia A Toronio, in Conference Report, Oct. 1994, 29–30; or Ensign, Nov. 1994, 23–24; also in Eternal Marriage manual https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/parenthood-creating-a-gospel-centered-home?lang=eng).

-“And that wicked one cometh and taketh away light and truth, through disobedience, from the children of men, and because of the tradition of their fathers. But I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth.” (D&C 93:39-40)

-“We are the guardians of our children; their training and education are committed to our care, and if we do not ourselves pursue a course which will save them from the influence of evil, when we are weighed in the balance we shall be found wanting” (LBY, xxiv) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“The mothers are the moving instruments in the hands of Providence to guide the destinies of nations. Let the mothers of any nation teach their children not to make war, the children would grow up and never enter into it. Let the mothers teach their children, “War, war upon your enemies, yes, war to the hilt!” and they will be filled with this spirit. Consequently, you see at once what I wish to impress upon your minds is, that the mothers are the machinery that gives zest to the whole man, and guide the destinies and lives of men upon the earth.” (DBY, 199–200) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“Bring up your children in the love and fear of the Lord; study their dispositions and their temperaments, and deal with them accordingly, never allowing yourself to correct them in the heat of passion; teach them to love you rather than to fear you.” (DBY, 207) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“We cannot chastise a child for doing that which is contrary to our wills, if he knows no better; but when our children are taught better and know what is required of them, if they then rebel, of course, they expect to be chastised, and it is perfectly right that they should be (DNSW, 8 July 1873, 1) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“You ought always to take the lead of your children in their minds and affections. Instead of being behind with the whip, always be in advance, then you can say, “Come along,” and you will have no use for the rod. They will delight to follow you, and will like your words and ways, because you are always comforting them and giving them pleasure and enjoyment. If they get a little naughty, stop them when they have gone far enough. … When they transgress, and transcend certain bounds we want them to stop. If you are in the lead they will stop, they cannot run over you; but if you are behind they will run away from you.” (DNSW, 8 Dec. 1868, 2–3) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“I tell the mothers not to allow the children to indulge in evils, but at the same time to treat them with mildness. If a child is required to step in a certain direction, and it does not seem willing to do so, gently put it in the desired way, and say, There, my little dear, you must step when I speak to you. Children need directing and teaching what is right in a kind, affectionate manner.” (DBY, 209) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

-“How often we see parents demand obedience, good behavior, kind words, pleasant looks, a sweet voice and a bright eye from a child or children when they themselves are full of bitterness and scolding! How inconsistent and unreasonable this is!” (DBY, 208) (also cited in Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young, Ch 46 https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-46?lang=eng)

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Foster Parenting Myths

  1. Foster children are CRAZY / DANGEROUS.
    2. Foster children can’t CHANGE.
    3. Foster kids will never feel a real part of MY family, even if we adopt them.
    4. The LOSS of caring for a child and returning them to their parents is too much for me.
    5. I know a foster parent, and they’re still waiting for a placement. DEMAND for foster parents must not be very big.
    6. Being a foster parent would be too DRAINING.
    7. I can’t FINANCIALLY afford to take in or adopt children.
    8. Level 2 and 3 foster children, as well as sibling groups, are too hard, and should be avoided.
    9. I don’t have TIME to foster children, I already have children of my own.
    10. I can’t take in more children because I want to focus on “quality not quantity” for the children I already have.
    …Now let me explain…
  2. Foster children are CRAZY / DANGEROUS.
    Well… actually no, they’re kids, and they have as much capacity to love and be loved as anyone. When my wife and I got foster children, it quickly occurred to us, “oh, they’re just kids!” We don’t need to label them as “foster children”. They are just “children”. At the end of the day, the only label we should put on anyone is “child of God.” I hear parents say that they don’t want their other children to be molested or taught bad habits by foster children being introduced to their homes. Though it might seem harsh to you, a reality is that you can tell your case worker that the placement is not going to work for your family. Even if some placements won’t be ok for you, you don’t have to denounce fostering altogether. Also, when you sign up for fostering, you fill out a form that says which behaviors you’re willing to have in your placements. For example, if you don’t want a child with a drug or pornography addiction or who is sexually active or physically abusive, you can check boxes letting your case worker know that those type of placements are best suited elsewhere. There are plenty, I would say the majority, of foster children who don’t fall into these categories. Even those who do have serious behavioral issues, those can change! Think of the environment they were in, versus the environment they will be in at your home. Trust that the new environment (including love) will change their lives for the better in big ways! Therapy will be provided too. Throughout your journey as a foster parent, your list of what can and can’t enter your home may change, but it’s always up to you. Further, your biological children can be plenty crazy too! You can’t always discern if a child is going to have bad behaviors later in life, but the same goes for your biological children. Parenting in general involves risk taking, but alas, it involves even more inspiration and power.
    2. Foster children can’t CHANGE.
    Well… Let’s use a phrase Thomas Monson liked to say, “A leopard can’t change it’s spots, but men aren’t leopards, and they change every day.” Humans are extremely resilient creatures, and can even heal from the trauma of being transplanted. Remember the Lord’s vineyard, he grafts where he will, and works to create fruit in his mysterious way. God’s power is strong enough to heal. Also, not all foster children even need to change! Just because they’ve been thrown into the system doesn’t mean they’re going to have intense behavioral problems. You’ll be surprised at how quickly they can adapt and overcome behavioral issues. Rest assured that you don’t have to be the perfect parent to bring needed change into your foster or adopted child’s life. As you create a relationship with each child, you’ll be giving them great power.
    3. Foster kids will never feel a real part of MY family, even if we adopt them.
    Well… The scriptures have a theme of adoption, perhaps a most common theme! Scattering, gathering, grafting, adopting to the House of Israel, isn’t that the whole point of Jesus Christ? Also, Heavenly Father and Mother are the universal parents of us all, and we can all bond under their parentage. “Biological” children? Well, as you raise your child, you effect their biology in the brain and everywhere else. They wouldn’t be the same without you, just like any other child. Also, a biological child can be very different from its parents. If your foster children are from a different culture or race, don’t let that get to you. Everyone will embrace them, and you’ll find love for them and appreciation for the unique things they bring to your family. Children who look different than their parents can learn to deal with that, and both the parent and child can be better for it, getting a head start on tolerance and love. There is no such thing as a superior race.
    4. The LOSS of caring for a child and returning them to their parents is too much for me.
    Well… “To have loved and lost is better than to never have loved at all.” Looking for refugees? Here they are! You can tell them, “We are going to have you stay with us while your parents are taking some time to practice. You might stay here, but we’re trying to help your parents get ready to have you back. We will do what’s best for you, and we will have a good time!” This is a hard thing to tell a child, but it’s their reality, and you’re going to make it better for them than they can possibly imagine.
    5. I know a foster parent, and they’re still waiting for a placement. DEMAND for foster parents must not be very big.
    Well… Most foster parents only want an infant and only 1 of them. If you don’t have these barriers, there are tons of foster children waiting for temporary and permanent homes. However great your loss of caring for a child and letting it go, it isn’t as big as the loss the child is experiencing. If you’re willing to be involved in whatever comes to this child, you’ll be transferring some of the loss that child will have to bear upon your own shoulders. God will succor both the foster child, and the foster parent, until their cups are overflowing.
    6. Being a foster parent would be too DRAINING.
    Well… There’s a magic secret here that I’ll compare to being a full time missionary. Remember how happy you were despite being busy? Remember how things always seemed to work out despite all? Remember feeling close to Jesus Christ every hour? Remember having strength to do things you never before thought possible? Fostering is the best kept secret: full time missionary service for married young people without stacks of money set aside for full time parenting! Foster kids give you more than you give them. Children are magic, and foster children are no different. At first your capacity to care for children (and children with special needs) will be small, but as sure as anything, it will grow, along with your capacity to experience joy!
    7. I can’t FINANCIALLY afford to take in or adopt children.
    Well… This is a serious concern, but I’ll tell you some things that will help. If you have a child / children who have significant behavior issues which will directly correlate to increased costs, the state will likely give you a permanent post-adopt subsidy which will cover or at least highly supplement these costs. Additionally, while fostering, there will always be a stipend to help cover food and other costs. We think of adopting children as something rich people do, hearing about tens of thousands in adoption fees, but if you adopt via foster care, it’s free and the state will always give them medicate until they are age 18.
    8. Level 2 and 3 foster children, as well as sibling groups, are too hard, and should be avoided.
    Well… If children come as siblings, they’ll have people they love who understand what they’re going through, this will help them adapt to your home. Higher level children are classed that way sometimes because they’ve been in a number of foster homes without finding a permanent placement. This could be because the homes they were previously in were only transition homes, or there was a clash with siblings, or the placement wasn’t intended to be permanent. None of these mean the children are inherently unrecoverable, or that you can’t help them in your home!
    9. I don’t have TIME to foster children, I already have children of my own.
    Well… Children take care of each other. They become each other’s best friends, entertainers, and helpers. I think having 1 child would be the hardest number since they would always be begging for your attention, having no other immediate and available playmates. As for meals, increasing meals to accommodate more people is much easier than the transition from having no children to 1 child. As for housing, did you know they make triple bunk beds? Also, let your kids play outside if you’re worried about housing space. Harvard professors say that the world is safer today than ever, so just don’t watch too much television, and you’ll feel fine about letting your kids play outside. “Many hands make light work”, and yes, this applies to children.
    10. I can’t take in more children because I want to focus on “quality not quantity” for the children I already have.
    Well… Think about the kind of life these kids are having in the foster system (basically orphans). Giving 10 people basic needs (like nutrition & love) is better than giving 5 people the skill of playing a piano. Will the eternal soul of your child be in jeopardy if they don’t have private tutors in each subject, and all the best for Christmas? No. However, will the eternal soul of your child be in jeopardy if they never learn to share, to love people different than themselves, to be patient, to serve the poor? Being a sibling is a great scenario to learn those critical traits.

CONCLUSION:

Perhaps foster parenting is not for everyone, but I submit that it’s for more people than most people think. The need is there. Who will answer while it stands? Once you start foster parenting, you wonder why you lived so long without it (and so will the kids you take in). In an ideal world, kids are indeed raised by their married birth mother and birth father. Until that day, lets contribute in powerful LOCAL ways to bring world peace, remembering “Once I was a stranger.”

As it was said in General Conference, how we react to the refugees of our day will determine the destiny of our souls. “Being a refugee may be a defining moment in the lives of those who are refugees, but being a refugee does not define them. Like countless thousands before them, this will be a period—we hope a short period—in their lives… This moment does not define them, but our response will help define us.” (Refuge from the Storm By Elder Patrick Kearon Of the Seventy, https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/refuge-from-the-storm?lang=eng)

 

In the early days of the restoration of the gospel, two African sisters were converted, escaped slavery, and traveled 600 miles on back roads lest they be apprehended, traveling to join with the saints. They knocked on Joseph Smith’s door late one night, waking him and Emma. They related their account and said they had nowhere to go, and asked what they should do. Joseph looked to Emma and said, “Emma, these sisters say they have nowhere to stay. Is that true, Emma?” She responded, “No Joseph, they can stay here.” She was not treated in Joseph and Emma’s home as a slave or servant, but as one of the family. Joseph and Emma astonishingly often took people into their home, and often on very short notice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Family Council Meetings

 

 

 

I’ve often heard and given the council that families should hold regular (as in weekly) council meetings. I’ve never really seen an outline of how to do this. PMG planning meetings are the closest thing I’ve seen. Here is what we do, I would love to hear your ideas.

Ours usually consist of:

-starting and ending with prayer,

-weekly going to a large public whiteboard in the home and laying out the weeks

schedule/to-do list,

goals of each family member,

rewards each family member would like,

family scripture study topics,

FHE agenda,

Couples date agenda,

things to buy,

projects to work on,

vacation ideas, and

any other complaints/comments of family members.

 

 

A form of sacred family time, perhaps you could even call it a prayer, we learn from the Jews is to go around the family saying, “please forgive me of any wrongs I’ve done to you, and I forgive you of any wrongs you’ve done to me”. This brings great family unity, and restores the spirit of God in a home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fighting For Zion-esque Fatherhood & Beauty in a Brutal Babylon

 

 

 

Lord, is it I? The Crucible of Fatherhood, the Beauty of Zion over Animal-ism, and the Survival of the Poet in an Economically based society

Here indulge with me in expression, or quickly look the other way oh friend! Perhaps this tale is too scary after all… too foreign to attempt an interpretation. Or better yet, flee, as it appears a “religious” narrative is about to begin, which could not contain anything of beauty or classicism or legitimate thoughtfulness (because anything with the word “Christ” in it must be by an ignoramus bigot so disconnected with reality as to make him an entire stranger to the beauty of expression on so many levels yet unveiled to his existence, right?)! However reader, recognizing the liberal license of these wanderings (though their substance be in many parts found in their casing rather than their substance), I do have some mercy, and I have elected to inform you when you are entering deeper tier of absurdity, as there are 3 such tiers in this narrative. Alas I’ve not shaken you yet so on we begin, if not only on the tips of our toes, with low yet tasty expectations: TIER 1 (the original and core message for which I’ve approached you (here is the first error of the text, the assumption that it will in fact be read); these tiers (now tears?) being a playful (yet appropriate and delicious) elongation of what was originally merely the following concept of tier 1):
I see even now in the beginning of being a father, that I must be pulled back time and time again, from falls into idleness, of not doing the whole duty. How quickly I turn away! Will ye also leave? Lord, is it I? I must heed the pulls of Christ on me which would cause me to stand again and again. Indeed I say, it is staggering. Most staggering, more so than I thought possible. Right when I catch the wave I’m hit by another which bashes me down onto the turf. I must battle to come to my senses fast enough to not drown in the awful tide. But lo, the God of heaven is there, and reveals the order that can be born from the disorder; or rather, that shows the deeper order which is hidden by the disorder. Avas, the strange power of Christ to accomplish the impossible! Shall we shame it, or call it unreal? No, but let us build a building on top of it. It is the sure foundation! The unseen is the true. The hope is the power. Shall we doubt, or leave the task? Get thee behind me Satan. I am wont to swim in deep waters.
TIER 2 (still a tier, though not as compelling as tier 1; tier 1 was sincere, tier 2 is thoughtful, tier 3 is lamentable though exists nonetheless, the author getting some rare pleasure out of it and thinking it not a crime to spindle on a bit in these, the recesses of the night; all this said, reader, I inform you that tiers 2 and 3 do continue in the theme to some degree of that tier 1, from which you already have an ill or pleasant taste – so you’ll either cease here, or hold my hand a little longer into another forest where we address ethics in another field, tier 1 parading parenthood and the Christ/power/emulation therewith, these perhaps lingering on about economy and poetry, if the latter still holds place in our vocabulary that is; this tier will also derive meaning for actions expressed in tier 1, however incomprehensible to the outsider looking in):
My species is called humankind, and in its victory, refuses the delights of the animal kingdom. It rather prizes the higher which come with the higher. It doesn’t relinquish hope of the ideal in exchange for purchase of the comforts of Babylon. It needn’t afford such a purchase. Why? This gets into the long term but the short term too… for one thing, Zion is beauty, and we refuse the path resulting in “sitting on the ground” in “baldness”. We are a proud people, but not in ourselves, in the collective vision of Zion that we must build up – we are proud of our King Jesus Christ, and could care less about the other kingdoms, their puny walls not built to last the storm. So I conclude my rant with the forbidding of pity, yet the license and use of indulgence of expression in the company of my friends. So laugh quietly should that be your reaction, yes, smile behind your hand good sir… let it suffice that the road I wander may be paradise to me. Or perhaps your quest has a similar feeling! My hat doubly then off to you. We now part with each with happiness to our several roads. Above all, don’t try and stop me!
TEIR 3 (we’re/me’re starting to wonder if this should be penned at all, yet our curiosity has gotten the better of us/me): Let the poet live, stone him not! Alas this is his fear, that economics will be shoved down his throat in the midst of an otherwise pleasant beautiful day. He attends to his duties of course, that is the theme of the lecture is it not? He struggles but, in the end, takes well care to all needs. But it’s not needs that he is worried about. It’s not needs that he thinks about while throwing his spade into the earth again and again. So when the sun goes down, think it not a crime for him to reflect upon the day during his supernal, however short, leisure. This stays off the pains like a drug that gives rather than takes. Now alas I truly must go, I’ve risked time long enough, as that, “time” is the track and measure… and even if you endite me by my tale itself, I flee, I flee! Not much you can do about that… What a splendid independence! Now don’t worry I’m not going anywhere or doing anything stranger than usual. I’m speaking in metaphor, indulging in fiction as an art, or perhaps just asking from a break from THE ECONOMIC SOCIETY of precision and order, derivatives of success! Doubtless the author is looking forward to nay-sayings of the skeptics, and otherwise dismissal of his work as ridiculous, all of this being critical aspects of this excitement. He just didn’t know when to quit did he? Yes, I must be going now, for some reason or the other. Demosthenes tells me there’s quite a nice barrel to roll back and forth across the street over there (lest we be accused of idleness) so here we go… [Exient (“exits”), the lad whom purchased cheer in a strange store on the other side of the valley, the one whom insists on continuing to the death in the delicious ignorance of his own strangeness] [reader scratches the head and goes on with his life, however, perhaps, perhaps in some remote region of the subconscious only daring a toe to pierce into waking cognition, and I reemphasize “perhaps”, remembering…] THE END

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Bad things to Good People? God Isn’t a Nanny Parent

 

 

Concept from “Arguing with Idiots” by Glen Beck

Psychologists are telling us that a nanny parent leads to an unhappy child and incapable adult. The reason God allows bad things to happen to good people like wars starvation etc. all the bad, is because he is not a nanny parent. He knows that the implications of not allowing that stuff to happen are worse than the implications of stopping it all from happening. He allows everyone freedom, and that means some suffering, but it also means an opportunity for joy and growth. It’s unfortunate when governments don’t understand this and make laws governing every aspect of our morality. We can’t just legalize something because it’s for the greater good. Forcing broccoli at each meal would be for the greater good, etc., but that doesn’t mean we do it, because an even greater good is freedom. -Glen Beck, “Arguing with Idiots”

 

Furthermore, positive parenting means allowing natural consequences do most of the teaching when it comes to disciplining negative behaviors. Some people’s behaviors are so bad that it has a wake effect, damaging even innocent people. The challenge of a good person is to be good even though the bad people are hurting them.

 

 

 

We are Living in The Great and Spacious Building

-Holy meaning sacred, wood meaning a tree, thus it’s an idol set up that they worship, a false god. For oh how many people dedicate their lives to its teachings! Is that not the sumim-bonim of worship? Consider persons chasing Hollywood versions of love etc., at the price of leaving behind one desolated person after another in their path, in their addiction, seeking the larger high relentlessly in their dissatisfaction. All of this reminds me of the unforgiving declaration of President Boyd K Packer of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, that because of Television, our generation is LIVING INSIDE the great and spacious building (the pride of the world).
-Says Elder Cook, “The goal of honoring the Lord and submitting ourselves to His will26 is not as valued in today’s society as it has been in the past. Some Christian leaders of other faiths believe we are living in a post-Christian world.27
-“Largely because of television, instead of looking over into that spacious building, we are, in effect, living inside of it. That is your fate in this generation. You are living in that great and spacious building.” -President Boyd Packer

 

 

Family Based Duties & Priorities for All

Topics: homemaking, gender roles, joy, feast, meat, parenting, marriage
Housekeeping should be lively, energetic, clean and with food prepared when father comes home, all within the ability of mother. The food need not be extravagant, like the women in old Israel, let them simply make some bread every day, perhaps with a little jam; meat was not eaten except on days of festivals and feasts. When all members of family are home at last in the evening of the day, there is time for joyful celebration. This celebration need not be lavish or overbearing, but it can be handsome in its modesty, and satiable in its orderliness. Father by his toil all the day long has provided for the feast and other needs and wants. Mother by her toil has presented the feast and good fortune in a way that pleases the heart and encourages the soul. For mother, having children is a shift of leaving the world of workforce, into the world of home place. One mother says, “I have no time to clean I am too busy caring for the children”. I say, that those priorities are incorrect. The mother should love the husband as well as love the children. Don’t neglect the husband at expense of the children. The time at home is not just for playing with children and memorizing poetry, nor merely for formal schooling or other needed pursuits, it’s for teaching them how to take care of a house so they in turn can do so while raising their children. All education and recreation is good, but if the nucleus, the maintained home, is not kept well, then the entire system collapses, and where there should have been joy, there is dismay. Failure where there could have been success. Mother may find her hands full with merely chasing after the children and keeping them safe from fires and other dangers, as well as picking up after them. But in time, mother and father have worked together to teach the children that they ought not be a great burden upon the family, and that they should care to themselves in all able matters. If progress is absent in this matter, more family counsel is to be taken, and the matter not left where it stands, constantly afflicting mother from such irresponsibility. One mother says, “I have no time to care for the home as I am busy caring for the children.” But the caring for the home is caring for the children. Teach the children to clean the home. Maintain the hope so the soul of the father does not become depressed at the dismay and chaos. Father cannot maintain the workplace as well as the home. Nor can mother. One must take one charge, the other the other. The mother doesn’t tend to the house once she is done with the children, the maintaining of the house is the very way she does take care of the children. She fosters an environment where the kiddos can teach themselves, and have fun on their own imagination, and learn to contribute to a family by helping in the maintenance of the home. The home is the temple of the family. For the spirit to teach and direct and sweeten and heal all things, it must be maintained. To have an unkept home is to convey a message that the family is not important. The mother must care to not spend too much time playing with the children at the expense of the management of the home. The mother’s task is not easy, nor is the fathers. But the tasks are manageable, and rewarding, and worth the effort. The benefit exceeds the cost. The ability exceeds the inability. The soul is quietly seated in comfort and able to maintain peace. For the father, the majority of the day is spent earning dollars for his family. He tries to find something tolerable in this field, lest he become depressed and unable to proceed. For the mother, the majority of the day is spent tending to the home, and assuring it is well kept. This is the place she raises the children, and is the very arena of her genius. Here she will teach the children all the needed skills of life, and participate with them in the discoveries of humanity which thrill the soul and inspire the being. She will divulge her own methods in how she executes these things, so that her soul does not become depressed, and her tasks not exceed her strength. But succeed she must, just as the father. Should the father fail to bring the needed income for a family, though he be a wise philosopher and a kindly chap, he has failed his family, and does them less good than he ought. Likewise for the mother, though she teach the child all manner of learning and frugality in every decent kind, charm, talent, beauty, should she do these things at the expense of the management of the home, her children will grow up with incorrect understandings of reality, and will fail. Father and mother help each other, but the roles of one cannot be replaced by the other. The father is more stern in his demeanor, he is more capable of physical labor and other traits which enable him to provide. Mother is more gentle, and persuasive – her role in the home is one that no man could parallel even with the best of his efforts. The biological foundations for father and mother did not evolve in science’s generations, they were appointed from the beginning. Though there be challenges unique to each family, the tasks of father and the tasks of mother can be carried out with success. When father is unable to provide in a certain job he may prefer more than others, it is his duty as a noble man sealed to his family to put aside that position, and execute the alternative which will meet the family needs. Likewise for mother – she may desire the child to have the finest education, and the most intensive studies, or the deepest talent in artistry. But should these things be so complex, these sports or classes or whatever they be – that they take time needed for the fulfilled of the other duties of the management of the home such as cleaning and cooking and beautifying the home according to a wholesome environment, then she must re-prioritize and place more focus on the centrality of the home environment as the location for the execution for all needful growth of the child. Not only the children, but father depend on mother for these things. She is in a sense, the nucleus of the home, more crucial than any other member on accounts of nurturing and encouragement. Father takes lead in finance and protection of the family, though when these duties are satisfied, he will turn his attention to the comforting of his family. He loves them and wants them happy, but they cannot be without his doing his duty toward them. Mother loves the family and wants them to prosper with her as she enjoys their company above that of the kings of the earth, but their company will not be so delightful nor productive with the home they daily reunion in at odds. Father nor children expect mother to maintain a perfect home with all desired comforts, neither may mother and children expect father to provide so handsomely that their toils will all cease. But father mother and children rely on each other for a continual improving of the situation of the family, and a minimum level of performance in order for the family to continue on in fluidity. Despite the challenges inevitable to come in family life, mother and father and child can have confidence that they will have splendid success in thriving at their duties and pleasures all pertaining to this life which is appointed them to have joy. Father mother and child need beware to avoid extracurricular, pleasurable hobbies, church service, and community service, which gets in the way of their fulfillment of their duties at home. If one is struggling in their realm, the other may come and help. All help each other when possible, but the divergent interests of one can cripple the function of the whole. Family may even call on extended family for help, but not when much of their time is being devoted to extra-family service projects or recreation. Those who are loved at church or community but neglect the decency and thriving of their home should reconsider that family is their main pursuit, the most eternal aspect of their lives. Church and community, those other areas of interest, will prosper best when the platform of the home and it’s duties are being attended to. When family is put first above all other interests, more energy is alive in all members of the family, and all they do throughout the day will be more pleasant and useful both to them, and the rest of society at large. What if a woman wants to be in business or professions of some other types? Well, let her do it. But don’t let these things hinder you from your most important work of parenting. Good for you ye mothers like Phyllis Schlafly, mother of 9 and constitutional lawyer, head of the Eagle Forum defending Constitutional principals in current politics. Well to you mothers of this type who contribute while not diminishing your family to do so. What of the mother whose only focus is her children? It’s a fool who calls such a person less important. Indeed, mothering is the most important object on this planet, and bears more sway accordingly. Does a mother need to have 9 children to get to heaven? No. But she does need to recall the law of consecration, that all of her time and efforts, are to be dedicated toward building the kingdom of God, with particular attention to the direction of the prophets. Father also recalls the law of consecration, and puts aside his selfish pursuits in order to provide for an increasingly larger family. I am the youngest of 8, let’s not be so silly as to say “x number is the limit!” for would you limit me my friend? My words echo across time from voices yet unborn. Do you love your child? Imagine life without it. Such it is for every less child we chose to have. Are not humans as the gods, with potential to become like them? Do not think for a second that God will not multiply your capacity to love as more children come into the home. Rather, you like God in whose image and likeness you are created, can have infinite love for every child that comes to you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Notes on Lessons from Fathers of Faith by Maller et al

 

 

President Spencer W. Kimball:

-President Spencer W Kimball offered a man full price on a car battery rather than sales price. He said treat me like any other customer not special because I am an Apostle, or else I’ll leave. If you treat me as an equal, I’ll be the best customer you’ve ever had. He helped the mechanic become active in the gospel and gave him car work for 20 years.

-He was very loyal; he told his children when they lived in Utah, “This is Utah. It is our home. So, it has the best scenery, and the prettiest girls.”

Elder Bruce R McConkie:

-said once you have read the Book of Mormon 4 times you’ll begin to get it. His children attest to this.

– had notes 18 inches high of his bible studies and threw them all away. At his daughters protest he said the notes were not important but the discipline he received from making them was.

-looked more at the scriptures themselves than at what others said of the scriptures.

-Ate peanut butter sandwiches because President Kimball liked to.

– Ate bread with milk for he said such has ever been the food of prophets.

-His children asked why a Santa Claus in a picture had a pipe in his mouth, he said after thinking a while, that the image was depicting Santa before he joined the Church.

-said true greatness is in the family nothing in Eternity can be greater nor a higher title than that of Father (*or mother naturally; to have one without the other is useless).

-his children asked him what a prophetess is like, he told them a prophetess is someone like your mother.

-Whenever he saw his children all through his life he kissed them on the forehead.

-His daughter attests that the thought of them being coerced to live the gospel is not at all what occurred in their home.

Elder Joseph B. Worthlin:

-make his children feel they were 1st priority

-had personal scripture study every morning, after which he typed the days’ schedule.

President John Taylor:

-when fleeing from persecution of mobs, his son cried and cried about the loss of a wooden toy horse. Then John Taylor disguised himself, and went back in the night, crossing the Missouri river in the night, and retrieved the toy for his son at the peril of his life.

President Wilford Woodruf:

-kept a daily journal since the day he was baptized to the day of his death (65 years)

President Brigham Young:

-felt so close to his father that he felt like the only child, and he was sure the other children felt the same way.

President Heber J Grant:

-Once a week took his children to the Salt Lake City Theatre and afterward quizzed them on the plays. A daughter of his recounts that it was second only to formal schooling in educational value.

-Said that his children will only be children once, and he wants to give them as much pleasure out of life as possible.

President George Albert Smith:

-Says he has never seen one so deep in the gutter that he had not had the desire to lift him out.

-His dad gave money to a drunk who asked money for food of them, and upon his question to has dad why, his dad said that he would give money to ten drunks who would spend that on alcohol if it meant that one of them would get food with the money.

President David O McKay:

-Had a great love for animals

-Asked his son if the rabbits were fed that day, his children said no, so he turned around and went back several miles, so the rabbits would not have to be hungry that day.

-They had a big ugly rabbit named Cesar. He got out of his cage one day and President McKay was in a hurry to go somewhere (on a plane I believe). He got Cesar and put him in the chicken coop. Because he was in a hurry he didn’t have time to feed Cesar or to tell his family where he had put him. Later that day his family got an “urgent telegram” that read “Cesar in chicken coop. Water him.”

President Joseph F Smith:

-He was a historian.

-He taught his son President Joseph Fielding Smith.

-He told him to always take time to eat your meals

-told him to keep a daily journal, and said that if his journal is not a daily record, it’s almost worthless, as it’s not possible to well recall the day if writing about it is left until other days.

-when his son would write letters home that were misspelled, he would correct the misspelled words.

President Harold B. Lee:

-When he broke an expensive tool to ring pigs’ noses after a day of rounding up pigs, his father merely said “well we will try again tomorrow”. It cost them the days’ efforts but this was the gentle response.

President Ezra Taft Bensen:

-Growing up his family used mainly the Book of Mormon in religious instruction.

President Howard W. Hunter:

-He spent hours building wooden trains with his children. When they couldn’t get it right, he took them to a train station for them to look at actual train tracks and see how it was done.

-He expected his children to perform at a certain level and to get good grades.

President Gordon B Hinckley:

-He wanted to go home after a while on his mission, and wrote his dad telling him that he thought he was wasting his father’s money and his own time. His father wrote back informing him that he had received his letter, and gave his this advice, “forget yourself and go to work”.

President Thomas S. Monson:

-While he was a Mission President in Canada for three years he and his family only had family dinner alone 3 times, all the other times there were missionaries in the home, or other guests.

-While a Mission President he spent 15-hour days doing missionary work.

-Almost nightly while a Mission President he played checkers with his son Tommy.

-When his son was ill, he flew in a plane to Kentucky just to go and give him a Priesthood blessing.

-His children report that he was not at home as much as other dads, but nevertheless he did more with them than other dads seemed to do with their children.

President Henry B. Eyring:

-His father was a renowned scientist who taught at Princeton and the University of Utah.

-He encouraged his children to be physics majors in school, but one day he was helping Henry on the chalkboard in their home with a science problem, and realized it was the same type of problem they had worked through the prior week. He pointed this out to his son and asked him if he had practiced this type of problem since they met last. Henry said no he had not. His dad told him he thought he ought to get out of physics and get into something he loves; he told him that whatever he thinks about while he is walking down the street, or in the shower, what he thinks of when he doesn’t have to think of anything else, that such is what he ought to go in to. Henry became a great business man and educator.

-His dad when teaching would tell the very secular audience that there is a creator who made all things. He was not afraid to be himself in front of any audience. He was simply teaching them what he knew to be true, President Eyring recounts.

President Deiter F. Uchdorf:

-His children never knew how busy he was because he always made time for them and put them first.

President Boyd K. Packer:

-His father rarely got angry. His father learned that lesson by a worker on his farm breaking his tractor dispute careful instruction to not break it. The worker bowed and said I am so sorry I can’t express how sorry I am. Then he learned his lesson, that it could happen to anyone, and to not get angry. He was humbled by how humble his worker was.

Elder L Tom Perry:

-His father did a lot of church welfare work, and when he would come home and see sacks of flower piled up on the side of the driveway, he knew it was be an evening where he would get to be with his dad doing deliveries.

Elder M Russel Nelson:

-Every morning his dad would wake him up singing that the sun is up and so should they be. His dad was always was cheery in the morning.

-His dad was not active in the church for many years, but with the prodding of his family he became active and they were all sealed together in the temple for eternity.

Elder Oaks:

-His children say one word that epitomizes him is integrity.

-His daughter went to reuse a stamp that came in a letter that the post people forgot to stamp, and he scolded her for this.

Elder Ballard:

-His children put a huge scratch in one of his cars, and he said it’s not a big deal it’s just a car.

-His children wrecked a car, and he told took them in his arms and said, “I’m so proud of you for telling me the truth!”

Elder Robert D Hales:

-He and his father would scrub the metal sacrament trays with steel wool to make them more shiny for the sacrament, so it could be more sacred.

-His dad was an industrial artist, and one day brought home work to finish at home. His studio was right upstairs above the living room. The children were running and yelling downstairs, and he asked them to stop 3 times, but they did not. He came down the stairs and firmly sat Robert down, and did not use violence or loud words, but explained to him and the others how there is a spiritual aspect in the creative process, and how he needs reverent quiet to be able to create. He took the time to explain to them and it left a lasting lesson with Elder Hales.

Elder Jeffery R. Holland:

-His son and he prayed how to get home on backroads after an outing and the sun going down. He asked his son what he felt about the prayer over which path in the road to take. The son said he felt go left over and again, Elder Holland said he felt so as well. They prayed to get home safely. They went left, and it was a dead end; but since they found that, Elder Holland was able to confidently go the right way, and they made it home safely. God got them home safely, it was inspiration to go to point B in order to get from point A to point C. God never inspires us to sin, but sometimes we have to take certain routes.

 

Elder Quinton L Cook:

-When his son was coming home from college (a visit or something), he flew out to the college, so he could be his sons travel companion for the drive home.

-He teaches we need to communicate church principals in settings other than church.

 

Elder D Todd Christofferson:

-When his daughter started college he had a company drop flowers off at her dorm saying simply have a great semester.

 

Elder Neil L Anderson:

-His children still call him daddy.

-Once a month he would take each of his children to a restaurant of their choosing just them and him where they could confine in him.

-He volunteers to do the dishes at home.

-He helps his wife sit down.

-He helps his wife by opening her car door.

-Plays basketball with his children.

 

Janice Kapp Perry’s Father:

-He worked in the fields all day, milked the cows at 5am, and milked them again in the evening after working in the fields.

-Survived his first year of marriage financially by milking hundreds of cows all day.

-Had colon cancer. Went to the temple and prayed to live long enough for his children to grow up. Once they grew up his cancer returned, and he died.

-Sang his wife’s songs and had a great voice.

-Arrived with his family at church a half hour early each Sunday.

-He could not easily say the words “I love you” but he showed that he did.

-When his daughter was in danger and the cows were getting out his daughter asked as he helped her ‘but what of the cows?’ he responded, “they’re just cows sis, you’re my daughter.”

-Played the drums.

-Nearly all ages danced in the church on Friday nights in those days.

-Didn’t let his children go bowling because they would have to go through the tavern to get to the bowling alley.

-Didn’t let his children play in the band Saturday nights because they would be playing into the Sabbath; and there would be a rougher crowd there.

-Got revelation that his daughters’ engagement was not right and asked her to give back the ring, she did so then was married to someone else happily.

Elder Robert E Wells:

-his wife died, and he spent the next 2 months dating all he could. He found the right one. He dated her for a week then got engaged. A month later they were married.

-As a Mission President encouraged missionaries to shake hands firmly, and to look the person they were greeting in the eye as they shook hands.

-Taught that we don’t always need to be reverent, for this is a bold and courageous and exciting message we share and gospel we live.

-Went skiing regularly.

 

 

 

 

Notes on the Fountain of Life by President Boyd K. Packer

 

 

 

BYU Devotional, March 1992

recorded in his book Things of the Soul, 105–17

also recorded in Eternal Marriage Student Manual pg.141-146 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf

for the address see http://www.podfeed.net/episode/The+Fountain+of+Life+Boyd+K.+Packer/1761621

or http://www.byutv.org/watch/f6816669-24fc-46d3-ae39-2b5d085ea5ce/byu-devotional-address-boyd-k-packer-32992

– love between husband and wife can be constant in Fountain of Life devotional.

-One kind of flesh of men, another kind of beasts

-Homosexuality and child molestation degrades us even below the beasts, for not even they do that.

-Calls AIDs a bible like plague threatening all humanity as a result of immoral behavior.

-The idea that we are advanced animal rather than children of God is most evil. It suggests that we are subject to physical and not moral law. It makes people think that is the key to life.

-Getting these things mistaken causes us to serve the wrong master.

-People use the word ‘freedom’ to justify vice.

-Saying that you don’t like a certain behavior but want others to be able to do it, is the same logic of saying take down the traffic signs and railways so that everyone can choose for themselves how to drive, and how close to the edge to go.

-There is no phrase “free agency” in the scriptures, only moral agency in the scriptures. God says he has given this to every man, so they can be accountable in the day of judgement.

-Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed from disobeying moral law.

Polluting our fountain of life or leading others to sin causes penalties more exquisite and hard to bare than any pleasure which could be had in disobedience.

-We do not escape the penalty when we progress.

-The ONLY permitted sexual behavior is between legally married husband and wife, ANYTHING else is against the laws of God, and it mattereth not what you say about that.

-Do not change the natural use into that which is against nature, if you do the tempter will drive a wedge between you. You know what this means. We do not council within the bedroom, but “you know what this means”.

-Every transgression must be paid for unto the uttermost farthing if you break the laws of procreation, and how exquisite your suffering will be, you know not. How hard to bare, you know not.

-Given the world we live in, if you have made a mistake in these matters, it can be understood. It cannot be condoned, but it can be understood.

-With full repentance, even abortion can be forgiven. Who repents of his sins “the same will be forgiven and I the Lord will remember them no more.”

-The formula for repentance requires that we confess, to the Lord if transgression isn’t serious and is personal, but if there is tempering with the creative powers with a person of either gender, you must speak to the bishop. Your conscience will tell you whether it’s serious or not.

-The Bishop represents the Lord in administering forgiveness for the Church, at times he must administer bitter medicine.

-I would not want to live in a world without repentance, and if punishment is a consequence of that, I accept.

-Bishops who try to make it too easy for people to repent are doing them a disservice in this over-kindness.

-When repentance is done, YOU WILL BE INNOCENT AGAIN.

-The Lord blotteth out sins for his own sake, and will not remember them.

-Upon repentance, the joy is as great as was the pain.

-Forgiving one’s self is often the hardest part of repentance.

-Remember Lot’s wife, who turned back then became a pillar of salt; the lesson there for the repentant sinner is NOT merely that the Lord will destroy the wicked, the lesson is don’t look back says President Joseph Fielding Smith.

-The power of the evil one will be concentrated in tempting you to misuse the value of life.

-Power to begat life is a supernal gift, the commandment to begat life is never revoked.

-Humans are different than animals.

-“Quenching life when a conception seems inconvenient is a transgression of ENOURMOUS consequence.”

(*Note: I can scarcely imagine how sad a person would be to look back and have a revelation of all the children they didn’t have, and what life and eternity and the welfare of mankind could have been if they had chosen otherwise. That sounds like a punishment greater than many could bear.)

-Marriage is an ordinance with covenants

-Don’t intrude in the marriage of others emotionally, or it’s a transgression not easily forgiven.

-Full repentance is confessing our sins, forsaking them, and enduring the punishment of the sins committed.

-There is no moral law which cannot be forgiven, including abortion.

-Marriage relationships can be eternal, as can our increase.

-Homes can be a place of happiness, for the Lord says, children are an heritage of the Lord.

-Weddings sealed by the spirit of promise in the holy temple bring thrones etc.

-There is joy awaiting those who accept and use worthily the supernal gift of the fountain of life.

-The gospel is true, it is the power of God unto salvation. The standards in it are revealed by HIM.

-Order your lives so you can have the fullness of joy.

– ‘man from animal’ theory is an evil idea.

 

 

 

Parenting Appendix A: The Invisible Mother by Nicole Johnson

 

 

My Megan, the best of mothers, loves this poem:

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I’m on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I’m thinking, ‘Can’t you see I’m on the phone?’ Obviously, not. No one can see if I’m on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I’m invisible. The invisible Mom! Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I’m not a pair of hands; I’m not even a human being. I’m a clock to ask, ‘What time is it?’ I’m a satellite guide to answer, ‘What number is the Disney Channel?’ I’m a car to order, ‘Right around 5:30, please.’

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude – but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She’s going; she’s going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England. Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, ‘I brought you this.’ It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe. I wasn’t exactly sure why she’d given it to me until I read her inscription: ‘To Charlotte, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.’

In the days ahead I would read – no, devour – the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals – we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, ‘Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.’ And the workman replied, ‘Because God sees.’

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, ‘I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you’ve done, no sequin you’ve sewn on, no cupcake you’ve baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over.. You are building a great cathedral, but you can’t see right now what it will become.’

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don’t want my son to tell the friend he’s bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, ‘My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.’ That would mean I’d built a shrine or a monument to myself.. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, ‘you’re gonna love it there.’

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we’re doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.