Paired dating stage
by Nate Richardson
trialing thoughts from Jason Carroll Dr. at BYU
In our culture, we explore relationships 1 at a time, skipping the paired dating stage of going on dates with lots of people, and jumping to the exclusive dating stage. It’s not developmentally the ideal because you don’t get to meet very many people. We often become close physically before emotionally. We are holding hands etc., appearing as a couple before we are very emotionally involved with each other! We single out with a person when we should be developing multiple relationships. Dating multiple people was the norm in grandma’s day (when marriages were healthier on average! Way less divorce!), but today if you do this you’re called a player! Yes, we all want someone special, but we must go through the developmental stage of getting to know well lots of people. Paired dating with multiple people at the same time helps the “someone special” come faster, because you learn what “someone special” really means to you.