I share these notes with permission of the author, Dr. Warren Farrel.
Some key players in the movement are Dr. Warren Farrell, Paul Elam, Suzanne Venker, Harry Crouch, & Cassie Jaye (“The Red Pill” movie on this). Try ncfm.org.
I appreciate Dr. Farrell’s message, and agree with much (not all) of what he says. He has become an outcast in the gender studies world as his academically mature views are not considered politically correct.
Here are some highlights:
-One reason women make less is that they chose worse paying jobs which they like better. They prefer flexibility in a job, and not being on call, facing harsh environments, facing risk at the workplace, etc. If a group of people won the lottery, most the men would change their job, most of the women would keep their job. The men often give up what they love so they can provide for their families.
-There is a difference between what women vs men make, and what fathers vs mothers make. The single women without children make more than single men without children. These women are dedicated to their career and set on being able to use it to survive. But fathers make more than mothers, as mothers chose jobs which are more family friendly (less on call schedules, less risky work, one that allows home time to not be filled with more work, etc.). Farrell says the men should follow the examples of the women in seeking more family friendly employment!
-Growing up in a single father home is better than growing up in a single mother home because in the father home, the mother will frequently come to see the children, whereas when the mother is the caregiver, the man is often minimally or not involved at all. Any scenario where the man and woman have a good amount of time with the children is a good arrangement.
-Most (about 90%) of men in prison didn’t have fathers. The absence of fathers is also a trait seen in most of the mass shooters.
-If women really were paid 77 cents per dollar of man, why wouldn’t all the companies only hire women and cut their costs by 33 cents to the dollar?
-People don’t care about boys. They will say black lives matter, but not boys lives matter. We have a national board for women and girls issues, but not one for boys and men’s issues. Boys have way more suicides than girls, much more ADHD than girls, more high school dropouts than girls, and less college participation than girls. If people said the things about black people that they do about men, it would be called flagrant racism. We say men are toxic, we make fun of their role in our television, etc.
-There is toxic masculinity in that men are taught to not be emotional. This could be why women live longer than men. Men are taught to be strong, a sort of fighter spirit, taught to sacrifice. But the women are taught how to be expressive etc., they learn how to live, and they did so. There is gender fluidity in that the women can, thanks to the feminist movement, have the option to be in the workplace for some or all of their career, and the men can learn caring roles to be more involved in the home. Some fathers express high satisfaction in being the full-time father for a season while the mothers work on the breadwinning. Fathers need to place high priority on family time. There are good things about masculinity. The fathers often teach stricter boundaries (‘Eat your peas or no ice cream, no eating half of them won’t do. We have a deal, no moving the deal we entered into.’) They also teach how to respect others during rough play. Mothers can do rough play too but not as well as the fathers, just like how fathers can do caring nurturing for the children but not as well as the mothers.
-Society isn’t built based on patriarchy, but on the need to survive. The men and women separated roles in this. Women risked life in childbearing, men risked life in war or coal mines, both the father and mother working even risking in their designated field to see to it that their children had better lives than their own.
-When boys grow up without a father, then they go to schools where there are predominantly female teachers, they lack a male role model, and often join gangs or other negative groups where authoritarian leaders they crave have dealings with them.
-Men need to follow the examples of women and have more family friendly jobs. These jobs often don’t pay as well, but there’s more to life than money. There is finding gleam in your eye. There is having your feelings heard and your interests pursued.
-Step parents are only as effective as the mom lets them be.
-When only 1 sex wins both sexes lose
-Children need dad’s time much more than his money.
Men are told to be a hero; the way to be a hero now is to be transgender, so they are do this, leaving behind who they are.
-Women learned to be more fender fluid of entering workforce more if wished, but men weren’t taught that they can stay home more with the children if they wish. Women can help the man to take care of providing, and men can help the woman to take care of nurturing children. Neither can do the others’ job as well as the other. The woman usually doesn’t rough house quite like the man. The man usually doesn’t nourish like the woman. This being said it is true that boys need male teachers, not just female teachers.
-It’s not male privilege it’s male sacrifice. It’s not a society to favor men it’s one to favor women. Women sacrifice in child bearing men do so in war. Each is taught to be willing to do whatever it takes to make the next generation have better lives
-Women grade male students about 30 percent higher on average when it is a blind assignment where they don’t get to know the gender of the child. We need a 50 50 ratio of men and women teachers in elementary school, so kids without a dad at least have that. Boys without dad’s are hurt kids, and hurt kids hurt people. Boys without dad’s look to gang leaders and Isis etc. For the authoritative leadership they crave.
-Male suicide rates are way higher than female as the kids get above about 6. It’s worse the older up to a certain point.
-Menu are hated today. Feminism used to be good as it said women are strong. Now it is an adolescent feminism that just says women are wronged, and they weaponize that.
-Women should take risk in dating. They should ask the boys out, etc. Currently the men have all the risk. They ask the girl out so she knows they already like her. She should be more proactive in dating and take more risk, like the men. She shouldn’t just flirt she should tell him she wants to date him, not just hope he asks her.
-Some men are more comfortable doing more parenting which is fine, let the woman go make some wage and him be home if they want to share those roles. Toxic masculinity does exist when we won’t let men have this opportunity.
-The mass shooters and prison inmates are boys without dads. But in media dads are hated. The boy who grows up without a dad feels shame for being a boy since society shames boys.
-Rough tumble play with dad teaches kids compassion as the learn to set limits. They can’t kick their siblings in foul play, they can’t give an elbow to the face, etc. They learn to abide in the correct limits so they don’t lose the opportunity to continue in the rough play. Dad says if you hurt the other person we have to stop playing.
-the female says no hoping that the male will return again; this is how she tests to see how he handles no, to see if he will be a good salesman and good provider.
-women didn’t have freedom back in the day, and neither did men. Men were encouraged to get JOBs no PhDs. They were taught to be responsible rather than to have choice, to do the chores rather than the studying; it was said that it is irresponsible to do what you want, be that artist or writer etc. They didn’t get to choose.
-you can’t fulfil your dreams if you don’t have postponed gratification, which comes from parents enforcing boundaries; for example, the parent should not give ice cream before the peas are eaten; don’t let the child manipulate a better deal by saying they ate half let it be enough at that. ADHD can develop more frequently when they don’t learn self-control. Kids need to learn to focus on what they have to do before they get to do what they want to do.