Family Based Duties & Priorities For All
By Nate Richardson
Topics: homemaking, gender roles, joy, feast, meat, parenting, marriage
Housekeeping should be lively, energetic, clean and with food prepared when father comes home, all within the ability of mother. The food need not be extravagant, like the women in old Israel, let them simply make some bread every day, perhaps with a little jam; meat was not eaten except on days of festivals and feasts. When all members of family are home at last in the evening of the day, there is time for joyful celebration. This celebration need not be lavish or overbearing, but it can be handsome in it’s modesty, and satiable in it’s orderliness. Father by his toil all the day long has provided for the feast and other needs and wants. Mother by her toil has presented the feast and good fortune in a way that pleases the heart and encourages the soul. For mother, having children is a shift of leaving the world of workforce, into the world of home place. One mother says “I have no time to clean I am too busy caring for the children”. I say, that those priorities are incorrect. The mother should love the husband as well as love the children. Don’t neglect the husband at expense of the children. The time at home is not just for playing with children and memorizing poetry, nor merely for formal schooling or other needed pursuits, it’s for teaching them how to take care of a house so they in turn can do so while raising their children. All education and recreation is good, but if the nucleus, the maintained home, is not kept well, then the entire system collapses, and where there should have been joy, there is dismay. Failure where there could have been success. Mother may find her hands full with merely chasing after the children and keeping them safe from fires and other dangers, as well as picking up after them. But in time, mother and father have worked together to teach the children that they ought not be a great burden upon the family, and that they should care to themselves in all able matters. If progress is absent in this matter, more family counsel is to be taken, and the matter not left where it stands, constantly afflicting mother from such irresponsibility. One mother says “I have no time to care for the home as I am busy caring for the children.” But the caring for the home is caring for the children. Teach the children to clean the home. Maintain the hope so the soul of the father does not become depressed at the dismay and chaos. Father cannot maintain the workplace as well as the home. Nor can mother. One must take one charge, the other the other. The mother doesn’t tend to the house once she is done with the children, the maintaining of the house is the very way she does take care of the children. She fosters an environment where the kiddos can teach themselves, and have fun on their own imagination, and learn to contribute to a family by helping in the maintenance of the home. The home is the temple of the family. For the spirit to teach and direct and sweeten and heal all things, it must be maintained. To have an unkept home is to convey a message that the family is not important. The mother must care to not spend too much time playing with the children at the expense of the management of the home. The mothers task is not easy, nor is the fathers. But the tasks are manageable, and rewarding, and worth the effort. The benefit exceeds the cost. The ability exceeds the inability. The soul is quietly seated in comfort and able to maintain peace. For the father, the majority of the day is spent earning dollars for his family. He tries to find something tolerable in this field, lest he become depressed and unable to proceed. For the mother, the majority of the day is spent tending to the home, and assuring it is well kept. This is the place she raises the children, and is the very arena of her genius. Here she will teach the children all the needed skills of life, and participate with them in the discoveries of humanity which thrill the soul and inspire the being. She will divulge her own methods in how she executes these things, so that her soul does not become depressed, and her tasks not exceed her strength. But succeed she must, just as the father. Should the father fail to bring the needed income for a family, though he be a wise philosopher and a kindly chap, he has failed his family, and does them less good than he ought. Likewise for the mother, though she teach the child all manner of learning and frugality in every decent kind, charm, talent, beauty, should she do these things at the expense of the management of the home, her children will grow up with incorrect understandings of reality, and will fail. Father and mother help each other, but the roles of one cannot be replaced by the other. The father is more stern in his demeanor, he is more capable of physical labor and other traits which enable him to provide. Mother is more gentle, and persuasive – her role in the home is one that no man could parallel even with the best of his efforts. The biological foundations for father and mother did not evolve in science’s generations, they were appointed from the beginning. Though there be challenges unique to each family, the tasks of father and the tasks of mother can be carried out with success. When father is unable to provide in a certain job he may prefer more than others, it is his duty as a noble man sealed to his family to put aside that position, and execute the alternative which will meet the family needs. Likewise for mother – she may desire the child to have the finest education, and the most intensive studies, or the deepest talent in artistry. But should these things be so complex, these sports or classes or whatever they be – that they take time needed for the fulfilled of the other duties of the management of the home such as cleaning and cooking and beautifying the home according to a wholesome environment, then she must re-prioritize and place more focus on the centrality of the home environment as the location for the execution for all needful growth of the child. Not only the children, but father depend on mother for these things. She is in a sense, the nucleus of the home, more crucial than any other member on accounts of nurturing and encouragement. Father takes lead in finance and protection of the family, though when these duties are satisfied, he will turn his attention to the comforting of his family. He loves them and wants them happy, but they cannot be without his doing his duty toward them. Mother loves the family and wants them to prosper with her as she enjoys their company above that of the kings of the earth, but their company will not be so delightful nor productive with the home they daily reunion in at odds. Father nor children expect mother to maintain a perfect home with all desired comforts, neither may mother and children expect father to provide so handsomely that their toils will all cease. But father mother and children rely on each other for a continual improving of the situation of the family, and a minimum level of performance in order for the family to continue on in fluidity. Despite the challenges inevitable to come in family life, mother and father and child can have confidence that they will have splendid success in thriving at their duties and pleasures all pertaining to this life which is appointed them to have joy. Father mother and child need beware to avoid extracurricular, pleasurable hobbies, church service, and community service, which gets in the way of their fulfillment of their duties at home. If one is struggling in their realm, the other may come and help. All help each other when possible, but the divergent interests of one can cripple the function of the whole. Family may even call on extended family for help, but not when much of their time is being devoted to extra-family service projects or recreation. Those who are loved at church or community but neglect the decency and thriving of their home should reconsider that family is their main pursuit, the most eternal aspect of their lives. Church and community, those other areas of interest, will prosper best when the platform of the home and it’s duties are being attended to. When family is put first above all other interests, more energy is alive in all members of the family, and all they do throughout the day will be more pleasant and useful both to them, and the rest of society at large. What if a woman wants to be in business or professions of some other types? Well, let her do it. But don’t let these things hinder you from your most important work of parenting. Good for you ye mothers like Phyllis Schlafly, mother of 9 and constitutional lawyer, head of the Eagle Forum defending Constitutional principals in current politics. Well to you mothers of this type who contribute while not diminishing your family to do so. What of the mother whose only focus is her children? It’s a fool who calls such a person less important. Indeed, mothering is the most important object on this planet, and bears more sway accordingly. Does a mother need to have 9 children to get to heaven? No. But she does need to recall the law of consecration, that all of her time and efforts, are to be dedicated toward building the kingdom of God, with particular attention to the direction of the prophets. Father also recalls the law of consecration, and puts aside his selfish persuits in order to provide for an increasingly larger family. I am the youngest of 8, lets not be so silly as to say “x number is the limit!” for would you limit me my friend? My words echo across time from voices yet unborn. Do you love your child? Imagine life without it. Such it is for every less child we chose to have. Are not humans as the gods, with potential to become like them? Do not think for a second that God will not multiply your capacity to love as more children come into the home. Rather, you like God in whose image and likeness you are created, can have infinite love for every child that comes to you.