Do’s and Don’t of Pre-Marital Dating Touch
The (behavioral) chastity line: affection before passion:
by Nate Richardson
trailing thoughts from Dr. Jason Carroll, BYU
In dating we wonder, “what is the chastity line? The line when we are in trouble? The line where I must go talk to my bishop if we cross? What’s the most we can get away with when it comes to touching etc. before marriage?” This question which many have is fundamentally immature, but, for the sake of the 12-year old’s in the audience, and those who behave or think like 12-year old’s, we will address it. The answers to this question are as follows: behavioral chastity, sexual purity, and sexual wholeness. We must treat each other with respect, not as lust items. God has commanded sexual intimacy be reserved for marriage, and sexual/passionate intimacy is incomplete without emotional and affectionate intimacy. Before marriage, we don’t do passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch private parts of the body with or without clothing. Don’t arouse those sexual emotions in your own body. Don’t approach the edge of the cliff, just stay where you should be. Do things in their proper order and you will be safe. Yes, vulnerability is needed for a close relationship, but there is a healthy type of vulnerability, and an unhealthy type. These are principles shown in the “For the Strength of Youth, Sexual Purity”. The manual says “youth”, but that is because these things are to teach us while young the correct principles for how to act before married.