For video of this document: youtube.com/watch?v=w4TYdbHHgr4
Introductory Note: The core of this document is the words of the prophets on temple marriage, but allow me a short narrative of my own thought as well:
Alma 39:11 A fornicator risky woman saying she will be your friend or lover is sent from the devil. There are healthy relationships, but the relationship with one who wants necking or petting and other tyrannical deeds, is from the devil, and is a servant of him. This woman, then, is a counterfeit of what could be good beautiful and eternal, but won’t be. So if you love this woman (you should love everyone), then tell her that you won’t be her man unless she changes her standards. Another example of this type narrative is a story of courage wherein a woman was engaged to a man, and then found out he was addicted to pornography. She straightway canceled the engagement, and told him that she would not marry him until he had gotten rid of that addiction. SHE WAS NOT GOING TO ALLOW THE DEVIL INTO HER HOME, THAT MOST INTIMATE OF PLACES. No, there was no place for negotiating at the table of her enemy! She was not going to walk into a snare of ten thousand serpents! This was not an act of cruelty, but of Christianity. She was telling the boy, “that is UNACCEPTABLE and it’s demeaning to me and you to give you the message that I think such is acceptable.” 2 years went by, and this boy had still not overcome the addiction. She found another boy without such, and is happily married in the temple. There could have been no temple marriage with the first boy, and to her, that is ENTIRELY UNACCEPTABLE! (This story can be found in “The Elephant in the Room”, a book against pornography). Yes, as a child of God you deserve more than to be married outside of the temple. If you think no one will marry you in the temple whom you are interested in romantically, then GET SOME FAITH IN THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD JESUS CHRIST. HAS HE NOT PROMISED HIS GOODNESS TO YOU? HAS HE NOT COVENANTED WITH YOU THAT HE WILL PROVIDE? YOU HAVE BEEN BAPTIZED, AND YOU HAVE AN ETERNAL COVENANT WITH DIETY THAT HE SHALL EXALT YOU AS YOU ARE FAITHFUL AND TRUE IN ALL THINGS. DON’T MESS AROUND WITH ETERNITY. Quit playing games. This is the big leagues. Welcome to the hall of masters and champions, of Gods and eternities. Don’t mess this one up. This is what marriage is all about. So get married, and do it in the temple, and LOVE EACH OTHER! Do this one thing with your life you unworthy creatures. You are always unworthy (Alma 38:14), do this thing right. Of the many things this life has to offer, don’t mess this one up. HOLY GOD would have you exalted if you’ll just quit being so selfish and faithless, and LIVE THE COVENANT. Eternities on end, yea forever, you’ll be glad that you did. And if it means you have to leave behind some non-temple marriage interested person, then you’ll end up being a blessing to the soul of that person more so than a whole life of marriage with them could give. RISE UP Oh Israel, and do the works of your father Abraham! If letting go of a non-temple marriage is hard to you as it was for Abraham to slay his son, DO IT. Like him, PASS THE TEST. Joseph Smith has taught that for exaltation, at some point or another, we will all have to pass a test comparable to Abrahams. Take courage. This is the leap of faith. Don’t back down, ye who have been held in reserve across the millennia for this special time in the last days. No one said that the last days would be easy. Also if you don’t find a spouse in this lifetime who will marry you in the temple, KNOW, and I mean KNOW, that you’ll have one in the eternal world. This life is a blink of an eye compared to eternity. Believe ye the words of Jehovah, trust his commands, he is the one who gave you life, now let him give you eternal life by obeying him. In his holy name these things are said. Jesus Christ is the king of Glory. Marriage is a glorious thing. He is the king of marriage. If you want a happily ever after marriage, do it His way. In case I need to be any more blunt, I tell you: His way is the temple. This is the ordained and covenant way, set up from before the foundation of this, OR ANY OTHER millions of worlds he has created.
-4 Nephi 1:11 Once you marry in the covenant, you get access to the multitude of the blessings of the Lord. So you who are not married, look forward to that day with great expectation! Don’t log it into your “once college is done, once I have x amount of money, once I develop x skill” category. That’s doing it backward! Marriage is to support refine test gladden and exalt you through the process of those developments! Don’t live beneath your privileges! With a little bit of faith and sacrifice, you can have your family and your career. neither the woman without the man, in the Lord: 1 Cor. 11:11 . I will make him an help meet for him: Gen. 2:18 . ( Moses 3:18 ; Abr. 5:14 . ) shall cleave unto his wife: Gen. 2:24 . ( Matt. 19:5 ; Mark 10:7 ; Eph. 5:31 ; Moses 3:24 ; Abr. 5:18 . ) thy desire shall be to thy husband: Gen. 3:16 . ( Moses 4:22 . ) take a wife: Gen. 24:4 . surely endow her to be his wife: Ex. 22:16 . ( Deut. 22:29 . ) virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: Prov. 12:4 . ( Prov. 31:10 . ) wives shall give to their husbands honour: Esth. 1:20 . rejoice with the wife of thy youth: Prov. 5:18 . Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing: Prov. 18:22 . prudent wife is from the Lord: Prov. 19:14 .
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest: Eccl. 9:9 . a wife treacherously departeth from her husband: Jer. 3:20 (don’t devorce and especially don’t make cause for such). let every man have his own wife: 1 Cor. 7:2 . unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife: 1 Cor. 7:14 . He that loveth his wife loveth himself: Eph. 5:28 . I will therefore that the younger women marry: 1 Tim. 5:14 .
teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands: Titus 2:4 . his sons should take daughters to wife: 1 Ne. 7:1 . • sacred support which we owe to our wives: Alma 44:5 .
In memory of our … wives, and our children: Alma 46:12 .
preparing to support their liberty … their wives: Alma 48:10 . ( Alma 48:10–11 . )
Pray … that your wives and your children may be blessed: 3 Ne. 18:21 .
thy calling shall be for a comfort unto … thy husband: D&C 25:5 . ( D&C 25:13–15 . )
Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart: D&C 42:22 .
it is lawful that he should have one wife: D&C 49:16 .
if a man marry a wife by my word: D&C 132:19 .
-“We have trespassed … have taken strange wives”: Ezra 10:2 . ( Ezra 10:10 . ) This means don’t marry outside of the covenant, outside of the religion, outside of the temple.
-“Thou shalt not take a wife of the daughters of Canaan”: Gen. 28:1 . This means don’t marry outside of the covenant, outside of the religion, outside of the temple.
-“The question is frequently asked: Should every young man fill a mission? And the answer has been given by the Lord. It is ‘Yes.’ Every young man should fill a mission. …
“… Every man should also pay his tithing. Every man should observe the Sabbath. Every man should attend his meetings. Every man should marry in the temple” (President Spencer W. Kimball, “When the World Will Be Converted,” Ensign, Oct. 1974, p. 8).
-“You will clearly perceive, from the revelation which God has given, that you can never obtain a fulness of glory, without being married to a righteous man for time and for all eternity. If you marry a man who receives not the gospel, you lay a foundation for sorrow in this world, besides losing the privilege of enjoying the society of a husband in eternity. You forfeit your right to an endless increase of immortal lives. And even the children which you may be favoured with in this life, will not be entrusted to your charge in eternity, but you will be left in that world without a husband, without a family, without a kingdom, without any means of enlarging yourselves, being subject to the principalities and powers who are counted worthy of families, and kingdoms, and thrones, and the increase of dominions forever. To them you will be servants and angels—that is, provided that your conduct should be such as to secure this measure of glory. Can it be possible that any females, after knowing these things, will suffer themselves to keep company with persons out of this Church?
It matters not how great the morality of such persons may be, nor how kind they may be to you, they are not numbered with the people of God; they are not in the way of salvation, they cannot save themselves nor their families, and after what God has revealed upon this subject, you cannot be justified, for one moment, in keeping their company. It would be infinitely better for you to suffer poverty and tribulation with the people of God, than to place yourselves under the power of those who will not embrace the great truth of heaven. By marrying an unbeliever, you place yourselves in open disobedience to the command of God requiring his people to gather together. Do you expect to be saved in direct violation of the command of heaven?” (Elder Orson Pratt, Millennial Star, XV: 584).
-“How is it with you, sisters? Do you distinguish between a man of God and a man of the world? It is one of the strangest things that happens in my existence, to think that any man or woman can love a being that will not receive the truth of heaven. The love this gospel produces is far above the love of women; it is the love of God—the love of eternity—of eternal lives.” (Discourses of Brigham Young, pp. 195-197, 1934 edition)
-“I would rather go myself to the grave than to be associated with a wife outside of the bonds of the new and everlasting covenant. Now, I hold it just so sacred; but some members of the Church do not so regard the matter. Some people feel that it does not make very much difference whether a girl marries a man in the Church, full of the faith of the gospel, or an unbeliever. Some of our young people have married outside of the Church; but very few of those who have done it have failed to come to grief. I would like to see Latter-day Saint men marry Latter-day Saint women; and Methodists marry Methodists, Catholics marry Catholics; and Presbyterians marry Presbyterians, and so on to the limit. Let them keep within the pale of their own faith and church, and marry and intermarry there, and let the Latter-day Saints do the same thing in their Church. Then we will see who comes out best in the end.” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, p. 380, 1919 edition)
-“I want to call your attention to the fact that a great many of our beautiful girls and our fine young men that have been born under the covenant are being married out of the Church and out of the temple of God. Furthermore, I have discovered by reading the newspapers that the parents of many of these young people seem to rejoice in it, and so they put big articles and fine pictures in the papers in regard to the entertainments, the receptions, that are going to be given, and they seem to be very proud of the fact that their daughters are to be married or their sons are to be married and they are going to be married by some minister of some other church, maybe by a bishop of this Church who can only marry them for time—he cannot marry them for eternity—and they seem to be happy about it. I do not know how they can, in the face of all that the Lord has revealed. For every contract, every bond, every covenant that is made that is not according to the Lord’s will and commandment, and enforced by his law will of necessity come to an end (D&C 132:7). These young people who seem to be so happy now, when they rise in the resurrection, and find themselves in the condition in which they will find themselves, then there will be weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, bitterness of soul, and they have brought it upon themselves because of their lack of faith and understanding of the gospel, and from, I am sorry to say, the encouragement they have received many times from their own parents.
I am quite satisfied in my own mind that the parents are not teaching their children in the home the importance of marriage as the Lord has revealed it. Out in the world they have a false notion about marriage, because they have not the guidance of the Holy Ghost, and they cannot understand and properly interpret the scriptures. The first marriage that was ever performed in this world, that is on this earth, let me say; not in this world, but on this earth—was performed before there was any death. What the Lord said in answering the question of the Jews:. . . What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder (Matt. 19:6), means nothing more nor less than this: that where God joins in marriage, man cannot put it asunder. And the Lord never does anything just for time. Everything is for eternity. … To those who are satisfied with a marriage for time only, I want to raise a warning voice, to both parents and to the children who have that sort of idea. Of course there are people who are not worthy to go to the temple, and therefore should not go to the temple. No one should go to the temple except those who are worthy, as the Lord has said, “who have overcome by faith,” and are cleansed and are just and true (D&C 76:53). Then they can go to the temple. If they are unclean, if they lack the faith, they had better stay out until they get the faith and are clean.” (Joseph Fielding Smith, Conference Report, October 1946, pp. 35-39) (http://scriptures.byu.edu/gettalk.php?ID=253)
-“ Those other classes I have mentioned have neglected the new and everlasting covenant of marriage: They cannot inherit this glory and these kingdoms—they cannot be crowned in the celestial world. What purpose will they serve? They will be sent on errands—be sent to other worlds as missionaries to minister, they will be sent on whatever business the Lord sees proper; in other words, they will be servants. To whom will they be servants? To those who have obeyed and remained faithful to the new and everlasting covenant, and have been exalted to thrones; to those who have covenanted before God with wives so that they may raise up and multiply immortal intelligent beings through all the ages of eternity. Here is the distinction of classes, but all of the same glory, called celestial glory.” (Orson Pratt, JD 15:321-322. Jan. 19, 1873) (http://en.fairmormon.org/Journal_of_Discourses/15/39)
-“ 9 Will I accept of an offering, saith the Lord, that is not made in my name?
10 Or will I receive at your hands that which I have not appointed?
11 And will I appoint unto you, saith the Lord, except it be by law, even as I and my Fatherordained unto you, before the world was?
12 I am the Lord thy God; and I give unto you this commandment—that no man shall come unto the Father but by me or by my word, which is my law, saith the Lord.
13 And everything that is in the world, whether it be ordained of men, by thrones, or principalities, or powers, or things of name, whatsoever they may be, that are not by me or by my word, saith the Lord, shall be thrown down, and shall not remain after men are dead, neither in nor after the resurrection, saith the Lord your God.
14 For whatsoever things remain are by me; and whatsoever things are not by me shall be shaken and destroyed.
15 Therefore, if a man marry him a wife in the world, and he marry her not by me nor by my word, and he covenant with her so long as he is in the world and she with him, their covenant and marriage are not of force when they are dead, and when they are out of the world; therefore, they are not bound by any law when they are out of the world.
16 Therefore, when they are out of the world they neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those who are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory.
17 For these angels did not abide my law; therefore, they cannot be enlarged, but remain separately and singly, without exaltation, in their saved condition, to all eternity; and from henceforth are not gods, but are angels of God forever and ever.” (D&C 132:9-17)
-“The family is the most important organization in time or in eternity. Our purpose in life is to create for ourselves eternal family units. There is nothing that will ever come into your family life that is as important as the sealing blessings of the temple and then keeping the covenants made in connection with this order of celestial marriage” (in Conference Report, Apr. 1972, 13; or Ensign, July 1972, 27). (Eternal Marriage and Family student Manual of the Church on page 14 see https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/35311_eng.pdf)
-“Members of the Church believe that marriages performed in temples are “sealed,” or blessed to last for eternity. The concept that the family unit can continue beyond the grave as a conscious, loving entity, with the marriage partnership and parent-child relationships intact, is a core belief of members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Once a couple is married and sealed in a temple, any children who are then born to them are automatically sealed to them at birth. If children are born before the couple is sealed, those children can later participate in a temple sealing with their parents. Children that are adopted also have an opportunity to be sealed to the adoptive parents.
The concept of eternal families comes from scripture and modern-day revelation. For instance, the New Testament reference in Matthew 16:19 records Jesus Christ telling the Apostle Peter: “And I will give unto thee the keys of the kingdom of heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” The Church equates the word “bind” with “seal.”
According to research cited in a 2000 article in the Los Angeles Times, “in an era of divorce, Mormon temple weddings are built to last,” with only a 6 percent divorce rate. Another study, published in 1993 in Demography Magazine, concluded that members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who marry in one of the Church’s temples are the least likely of all Americans to divorce.” (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/temple-marriage)
–“Marriage. . . is the most glorious and most exalting principle of the gospel of Jesus Christ. No ordinance is of more importance and none more sacred and more necessary to the eternal joy of man. Faithfulness to the marriage covenant brings the fullest joy here and glorious rewards hereafter.” (The Teachings of Ezra Taft Benson , 533–34)
–At the creation of man and woman, unity for them in marriage was not given as hope; it was a command! ‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:24). (Elder Henry B Eyring
-Our Heavenly Father wants our hearts to be knit together. That union in love is not simply an ideal. It is a necessity (Elder Henry B. Eyring Ensign, May 1998, 66).
–Happiness in marriage and parenthood can exceed a thousand times any other happiness (Elder James E Faust Ensign, Nov. 1977, 11)
–If you will make your first concern the comfort, the well-being, and the happiness of your companion, sublimating any personal concern to that loftier goal, you will be happy, and your marriage will go on through eternity (President Gordon B. Hinckley quoted in “Graduates Receive Challenge from Prophet,” Church News, 6 May 1995, 11).
–“Soul mates” are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price (President Spencer W. Kimball Devotional address given at Brigham Young University on September 7, 1976, found at http://speeches.byu.edu/ ).
–President David O. McKay (1873–1970) observed that too many couples come to “marriage looking upon the marriage ceremony as the end of courtship instead of the beginning of an eternal courtship. … Love can be starved to death as literally as the body that receives no sustenance. Love feeds upon kindness and courtesy” (Man May Know for Himself: Teachings of President David O. McKay, compiled by Clare Middlemiss , 289).
–[The Lord] has indicated that the greatest work we parents can do is performed in our homes, and our homes can be heaven, particularly when our marriages are sealed in the house of God. (President Thomas S. Monson “Blessings of the Temple,” Ensign, October 2010)
–Marriage is the foundry for social order, the fountain of virtue, and the foundation for eternal exaltation. Marriage has been divinely designated as an eternal and everlasting covenant. Marriage is sanctified when it is cherished and honored in holiness. That union is not merely between husband and wife; it embraces a partnership with God. (Elder Russel M Nelson “Nurturing Marriage,” Ensign, May 2006, 36)
–“The lawful association of the sexes is ordained of God, not only as the sole means of race perpetuation, but for the development of the higher faculties and nobler traits of human nature, which the love inspired companionship of man and woman alone can insure” (President Joseph Fielding Smith “Unchastity the Dominant Evil of the Age,” Improvement Era, June 1917, 739).
–“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations” (President Spencer W Kimball “Oneness in Marriage,” Ensign, Mar. 1977, 3).
–“This will be the most important decision of your life, the individual whom you marry. …
“… Marry the right person in the right place at the right time” (President Gordon B. Hinckley
“Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2).
–“The most important things that any member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ever does in this world are: 1. To marry the right person, in the right place, by the right authority; and 2. To keep the covenant made in connection with this holy and perfect order of matrimony” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie
Mormon Doctrine, 118).
-“Honorable marriage is approved of the Lord. Indeed, the scriptures teach that “marriage is ordained of God” for His children (D&C 49:15), and also “whatsoever God doeth, it shall be for ever.” (Eccl. 3:14.) His way of everlasting marriage is filled with hope and promise, and is designed to lead to happiness here and to an eternal stewardship like that of God himself…Wonderful promises are sealed upon a man and woman in temple marriage, and the realization of the promised blessings is related directly to their understanding and keeping the solemn commitments they make to each other and the Lord…No one should be unwise enough to count on an across-the-crowded-room romanticized live-happily- ever-after marriage made without proper thoughtfulness, preparation, and prayer. Marriage is an everyday and every-way relationship in which honesty and character and shared convictions and objectives and views about finances and family and life-style are more important than moonlight and music and an attractive profile…The surest basis for all of this is to be worthily married in the temple. But temple marriage is not an isolated ordinance. It serves both as a culmination of other ordinances and the foundation for family and the eternal future…Two who desire an eternal marriage cannot establish that relationship until each has personally made sacred covenants with the Lord. These covenants center in principles that are basic in a truly Christian life and in the foundation of a good marriage and family…In the temple we make commitments to follow Him in doing God’s will and keeping His commandments, in valuing others and in unselfishly serving, in loving God and our fellowmen….So wherever we are with respect to marriage—years from it, close to it, or deeply committed in it—we must be wise, be faithful to the commandments of God, be true. Marriage is the closest and most intimate relationship one makes in this life, and the most serious and sacred decision. If you haven’t been to the Lord’s house, get ready, be clean, prepare to come to establish the foundation for a special, happy, eternal marriage…Parley P. Pratt said after he met the Prophet in Philadelphia that “it was from him that I learned that the wife of my bosom might be secured to me for time and all eternity; and that the refined sympathies and affections which endeared us to each other emanated from the foundation of divine eternal love. It was from the Prophet that I learned that we might cultivate these affections, and grow and increase in the same to all eternity.” (Autobiography of Parley P. Pratt, Salt Lake City: Deseret Book Co., 1938, pp. 297–98.)…We are grateful to know that our family will relate with us eternally, even as we will with those who gave us mortal life, and all of us together will find a loving place ultimately and a continuing relationship under the holy influence of Him whose spirit children we are and of Him whose holy sacrifice brought us the blessings of eternal life. Of this I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.” (Elder Marion D. Hanks Conf. Report
-“It [eternal marriage] is without beginning of days or end of years. … We can tell some things with regard to it; it lays the foundation for worlds, for angels, and for the Gods; for intelligent beings to be crowned with glory, immortality, and eternal lives. In fact, it is the thread which runs from the beginning to the end of the holy Gospel of Salvation—of the Gospel of the Son of God; it is from eternity to eternity” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng(Brigham Young DBY, 195).)
-“We find quite a large number of young people who have arrived at a marriageable age and still they remain single. … Our young men and women should consider their obligations to each other, to God, the earth, their parents, and to future generations for their salvation and exaltation among the Gods and for the glory of Him whom we serve” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng (DNSW, 25 Oct. 1870, 2).)
-“I will give each of the young men in Israel, who have arrived at an age to marry, a mission to go straightway and get married to a good sister, fence a city lot, lay out garden and orchard and make a home. This is the mission that I give to all young men in Israel (DBY, 196).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“There is not a young man in our community who would not be willing to travel from here to England to be married right, if he understood things as they are; there is not a young woman in our community, who loves the Gospel and wishes its blessings, that would be married in any other way; they would live unmarried until they could be married as they should be, [even] if they lived until they were as old as Sarah before she had Isaac born to her [see Genesis 17:17]. Many of our brethren have married off their children without taking this into consideration, and thinking it a matter of little importance. I wish we all understood this in the light in which heaven understands it (DBY, 195–96).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“One of the first transgressions of the family called Israel, was their going to other families or other nations to select partners. This was one of the great mistakes made by the children of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, for they would go and marry with other families, although the Lord had forbidden them to do so, and had given them a very strict and stringent law on the subject [see Genesis 28:1–2]. He commanded them not to marry among the Gentiles, but they did and would do it [see Genesis 24:3] (DBY, 196).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“Be careful, O ye mothers of Israel, and do not teach your daughters in future, as many of them have been taught, to marry out of Israel. Woe to you who do it; you will lose your crowns as sure as God lives (DBY, 196).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is our duty? … It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all the spirits they can (DBY, 197).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“Now let me say to the First Presidency, to the Apostles, to all the Bishops in Israel, and to every quorum, and especially to those who are presiding officers, set that example before your [wife] and your children, before your neighbors and this people, that you can say: “Follow me, as I follow Christ.” When we do this, all is right, and our consciences are clear (DBY, 198).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“Let the husband and father learn to bend his will to the will of his God, and then instruct his [wife] and children in this lesson of self-government by his example as well as by precept, and his neighbors also, showing them how to be brave and steadfast, in subduing the rebellious and sinful disposition. Such a course as this will eventually subdue that unhallowed influence which works upon the human heart (DBY, 198).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“If we do not take the pains to train our children, to teach and instruct them concerning these revealed truths, the condemnation will be upon us, as parents, or at least in a measure (DBY, 207).” (Teachings of the Prophet Brigham Young Ch. 23 Understanding the New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-brigham-young/chapter-23?lang=eng)
-“The difficulties and hazards of marriage are greatly increased where backgrounds are different” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, 302). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“I have warned the youth against the many hazards of interfaith marriage, and with all the power I possessed, I warned young people to avoid the sorrows and disillusionments which come from marrying out of the Church and the unhappy situations which almost invariably result when a believer marries an unbelieving spouse. I pointed out the demands of the Church upon its members in time, energy, and funds; the deepness of the spiritual ties which tighten after marriage and as the family comes; the antagonisms which naturally follow such mismating; the fact that these and many other reasons argue eloquently for marriage within the Church, where husband and wife have common backgrounds, common ideals and standards, common beliefs, hopes, and objectives, and, above all, where marriage may be eternalized through righteous entry into the holy temple. …
“… We recommend that people marry those who are of … somewhat the same economic and social and educational background (some of those are not an absolute necessity, but preferred), and above all, the same religious background, without question” (“Marriage and Divorce,” 142–44). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“There is no substitute for marrying in the temple. It is the only place under the heavens where marriage can be solemnized for eternity. Don’t cheat yourself. Don’t cheat your companion. Don’t shortchange your lives. Marry the right person in the right place at the right time.
“Choose a companion of your own faith. You are much more likely to be happy. Choose a companion you can always honor, you can always respect, one who will complement you in your own life, one to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty. …
“… I could not wish for any of you more than I have had in my companionship with my beautiful wife.
“A good marriage requires time. It requires effort. You have to work at it. You have to cultivate it. You have to forgive and forget. You have to be absolutely loyal one to another. Most of you will marry and have children. They will become the source of your greatest pride and happiness. …
“All of this can come to pass if you make this most important decision, one guided by prayer as well as instinct, of choosing a dear companion who will be yours through thick and thin forever, throughout all eternity” (President Gordon B. Hinckley “Life’s Obligations,” Ensign, Feb. 1999, 2, 4).(https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“The right person is someone for whom the natural and wholesome and normal affection that should exist does exist. It is the person who is living so that he or she can go to the temple of God and make the covenants that we there make” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie in Conference Report, Sept.–Oct. 1955, 13).(https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“There is more to a foundation of eternal marriage than a pretty face or an attractive figure. There is more to consider than popularity or charisma. As you seek an eternal companion, look for someone who is developing the essential attributes that bring happiness: a deep love of the Lord and of His commandments, a determination to live them, one that is kindly understanding, forgiving of others, and willing to give of self, with the desire to have a family crowned with beautiful children and a commitment to teach them the principles of truth in the home.
“An essential priority of a prospective wife is the desire to be a wife and mother. She should be developing the sacred qualities that God has given His daughters to excel as a wife and mother: patience, kindliness, a love of children, and a desire to care for them rather than seeking professional pursuits. She should be acquiring a good education to prepare for the demands of motherhood.
“A prospective husband should also honor his priesthood and use it in service to others. Seek a man who accepts his role as provider of the necessities of life, has the capacity to do it, and is making concerted efforts to prepare himself to fulfill those responsibilities.
“I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife” (Elder Richard G. Scott in Conference Report, Apr. 1999, 31; or Ensign, May 1999, 26). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“When the daughters of Zion are asked by the young men to join with them in marriage, instead of asking—‘Has this man a fine brick house, a span of fine horses and a fine carriage?’ they should ask—‘Is he a man of God? Has he the Spirit of God with him? Is he a Latter-day Saint? Does he pray? Has he got the Spirit upon him to qualify him to build up the kingdom?’ If he has that, never mind the carriage and brick house, take hold and unite yourselves together according to the law of God” (in Discourses of Wilford Woodruff, 271). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“Dear sisters, never lose sight of this sacred goal [of a temple marriage]. Prayerfully prepare for it and live for it. Be married the Lord’s way. Temple marriage is a gospel ordinance of exaltation. Our Father in Heaven wants each of His daughters to have this eternal blessing.
“Therefore, don’t trifle away your happiness by involvement with someone who cannot take you worthily to the temple. Make a decision now that this is the place where you will marry. To leave that decision until a romantic involvement develops is to take a risk the importance of which you cannot now fully calculate.
“And remember, you are not required to lower your standards in order to get a mate. Keep yourselves attractive, maintain high standards, maintain your self-respect. Do not engage in intimacies that bring heartache and sorrow. Place yourselves in a position to meet worthy men and be engaged in constructive activities.
“But also, do not expect perfection in your choice of a mate. Do not be so concerned about his physical appearance and his bank account that you overlook his more important qualities. Of course, he should be attractive to you, and he should be able to financially provide for you. But, does he have a strong testimony? Does he live the principles of the gospel and magnify his priesthood? Is he active in his ward and stake? Does he love home and family, and will he be a faithful husband and a good father? These are qualities that really matter.
“And I would also caution you single sisters not to become so independent and self-reliant that you decide marriage isn’t worth it and you can do just as well on your own. Some of our sisters indicate that they do not want to consider marriage until after they have completed their degrees or pursued a career. This is not right. Certainly we want our single sisters to maximize their individual potential, to be well educated, and to do well at their present employment. You have much to contribute to society, to your community, and to your neighborhood. But we earnestly pray that our single sisters will desire honorable marriage in the temple to a worthy man and rear a righteous family, even though this may mean the sacrificing of degrees and careers. Our priorities are right when we realize there is no higher calling than to be an honorable wife and mother” (President Ezra Taft Benson “To the Single Adult Sisters of the Church, “Ensign, Nov. 1988, 96–97).(https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“Honorable marriage is more important than wealth, position, and status. As husband and wife, you can achieve your life’s goals together. As you sacrifice for each other and your children, the Lord will bless you, and your commitment to the Lord and your service in His kingdom will be enhanced” (President Ezra Taft Benson in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 59; or Ensign, May 1988, 53). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“I hope you will not put off marriage too long. I do not speak as much to the young women as to the young men whose prerogative and responsibility it is to take the lead in this matter. Don’t go on endlessly in a frivolous dating game. Look for a choice companion, one you can love, honor, and respect, and make a decision” (President Gordon B. Hinckley “Thou Shalt Not Covet,” Ensign, Mar. 1990, 6).(https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“Use both agency and prayer. It is not, never has been, and never will be the design and purpose of the Lord—however much we seek him in prayer—to answer all our problems and concerns without struggle and effort on our part. This mortality is a probationary estate. In it we have our agency. We are being tested to see how we will respond in various situations; how we will decide issues; what course we will pursue while we are here walking, not by sight, but by faith. Hence, we are to solve our own problems and then to counsel with the Lord in prayer and receive a spiritual confirmation that our decisions are correct” (Elder Bruce R. McConkie “Why the Lord Ordained Prayer,” Ensign, Jan. 1976, 11).(https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“… When a choice will make a real difference in our lives—obvious or not—and when we are living in tune with the Spirit and seeking his guidance, we can be sure we will receive the guidance we need to attain our goal” (Elder Dallin H. Oaks “Revelation,” 25–26). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“We have no scriptural justification, however, for the belief that we had the privilege of choosing our parents and our life companions in the spirit world. This belief has been advocated by some, and it is possible that in some instances it is true, but it would require too great a stretch of the imagination to believe it to be so in all, or even in the majority of cases. Most likely we came where those in authority decided to send us. Our agency may not have been exercised to the extent of making choice of parents and posterity” (Elder Joseph Fielding Smith Way to Perfection, 44).(https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
–“It does not matter if it interrupts your schooling or delays your career or your marriage—or basketball. Unless you have a serious health problem, every Latter-day Saint young man should answer the call to serve a mission” (Elder Boyd K. Packer in Conference Report, Apr. 1984, 61; or Ensign, May 1984, 42). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“There is increasing evidence that some young women are being strongly encouraged to serve full-time missions. Though capable and effective, young women do not have the same responsibility to serve full-time missions as do young men who hold the priesthood. We are grateful that some desire to serve as full-time missionaries, but they should not be made to feel obligated to do so. A young woman should not be recommended for a mission if it would interfere with a specific marriage proposal” (Church Bulletin, 1993, no. 2, p. 2). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“I am not trying to urge you younger men to marry too early. I think therein is one of the hazards of today’s living. We don’t want a young man to think of marriage until he is able to take care of a family, to have an institution of his own, to be independent. He must make sure that he has found the girl of his choice, they have gone together long enough that they know each other, and that they know each other’s faults and they still love each other. I have said to the mission presidents (some of whom have been reported to us as saying to missionaries, ‘Now, if you are not married in six months, you are a failure as a missionary’), ‘Don’t you ever say that to one of your missionaries. Maybe in six months they will not have found a wife; and if they take you seriously, they may rush into a marriage that will be wrong for them.’ “Please don’t misunderstand what we are saying; but, brethren, think more seriously about the obligations of marriage for those who bear the holy priesthood at a time when marriage should be the expectation of every man who understands the responsibility; for remember, brethren, that only those who enter into the new and everlasting covenant of marriage in the temple for time and eternity, only those will have the exaltation in the celestial kingdom. That is what the Lord tells us” (President Harold B. Lee in Conference Report, Oct. 1973, 120; or Ensign, Jan. 1974, 100). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)
-“When full-time missionaries return home, they should be counseled concerning such matters as continuing their education or employment, strengthening family relationships, participating actively in the Church, paying tithes and offerings, and preparing for temple marriage. It is unwise, however, to ‘recommend that missionaries be married within a specific time. The decision to marry is so important that it should be made only after the most prayerful and careful consideration by the individual.’ (Mission President’s Handbook , 1990, p. 23)” (Bulletin, 1993, no. 1, 2). (https://www.lds.org/manual/eternal-marriage-student-manual/mate-selection?lang=eng)