-Here we define “Family Creation” as 1. marriage and 2. childbearing
-We often speak of the Fall of Adam & Eve as a fall “forward”. It was a good thing. That is a core doctrine of the restored gospel. They were stuck and the only way to advance was to fall forward, and praise God that they did so!
-I speak of another fall forward needed to get us going somewhere in life. That is marriage.
-There are many people whom you could marry, that doesn’t matter so much who you marry, but
what you do after you marry. Most divorces are not from selecting the wrong person, but from
failure to maintain the marriage. Like a car, it needs maintenance.
-Don’t worry about looks too much, in the resurrection will come the beauty, and the greatest beauty comes to the most righteous. Brigham Young taught that those who reach exaltation will become as beautiful as the angels that surround the throne of God.
-Mission Presidents are council ed not to say the 6 months after mission deadline for marriage, but the general council from church leaders on marriage is that it should not be postponed. Your next mission after your church mission is your soul mission, namely to get married.
-I would say it’s a good idea to have a general idea of pulling the trigger on marriage near
the 21st year for men, and near the 19th year for women. The spirit can righteously dictate other things like med school for women etc. etc. but I suggest a regular standard for society to be near these ages unless the person is righteously prompted otherwise. I further suggest delaying family creation is dangerous if done for selfish reasons. Men are the proposers, but women can also help expedite the process by presenting themselves as available. This is not done through immodesty, that is the way of the world to present oneself for mating. The Lords way is by
expressing interest in someone. I for one, generally speaking, married the woman who was most interested in me, who loved me the most. Who manifested trust and willingness to follow my lead. There is not one right person for you to marry, but there is one right way to marry, and that is the Lord’s way in the temple. Usually there are more than one perfectly viable option, leaving you with some room to make your own selection among multiple equally wonderful candidates.
-I also had prayed for a wife and the Lord presented a qualified candidate promptly, so I
proposed, we married a few months later, and we’re happy with many adopted children. I
returned from a mission a few months before my 22nd birthday, engaged before my 22nd birthday, and married shortly after it.
-Your case may be different, but one thing is certain: don’t put restraints on the Lord. Tell
him that you’ll be willing to create a family as soon as viable opportunities present
themselves. Don’t insist to him that you require a certain degree, salary, knowledge base,
position or possession before marriage. Elder Holland and President Hinckley have related that at the time of their marriage they only had a few hundred dollars saved up. If money is your worry, know that married people are wiser with money than single people generally speaking.
-It doesn’t much matter who you marry, marry someone with faith in the Lord and a testimony of the restoration in the Lords house; but other than that, any of Gods children can be
compatible as they live the gospel together. Marriage is like the Fall of Adam: it needs to
happen for things to get going. Sure you won’t pick the perfect person because the perfect
doesn’t exist, but pick and get on with it. Marriage is about building each other. No building will really take place until marriage. Running around playing games with different persons is minimally helpful to yourself or society or the kingdom of God. If you have anxiety about picking the right person so you please the Lord, remember the Lord loves all his children, and you really can’t go wrong so long as you marry a faithful member of the church. Divorces do happen in those marriages, but it is rare. Use your best judgement but don’t damn your progress by remaining in this limbo any longer than reasonable. Remember the Lord doesn’t give a spirit of fear. In the book To The Rescue about President Monson, he submits that he wishes he would have married earlier. He had met Francis years before marrying her and wishes he had proposed earlier. The longer you, Adam and Eve, wait around in Eden, the worse. Everyone and everything is waiting for you to make the fall forward, get this rolling. There are risks, danger, pain, depression, chaos, drama, that’s why we call it the fall. But there is no other way. This is Holiness to the Lord.
-Children didn’t come from natural means and fertility specialists failed us time and again, so we became foster parents. I wish we certified earlier knowing now the great joy it brings, but it wasn’t until about the 3rd year of our marriage that occurred. A few months after
certification, 4 children came to our home whom we adopted. A 5th was adopted a few months
after that a 5th came and was adopted and sealed to us. Generally speaking the foster programs are in dire need for parents, and it’s a wonderful way to attempt living the law of
-Are you ready for Calvary, for Golgotha? Marriage is an atonement, a preparatory atonement
for the greatest atonement we will perform, saving our children. A prophet has said that anyone can go on a mission and preach the gospel, but the true challenge is the raise a righteous family. When Christ was doing his atonement, meaning giving all he could as was required of him, he asked “why?” He said in essence, Father, let this pass if possible. This is harder than I could have ever imagined. Never the less he partook and finished. Even so will you in your sacrifice of giving all you can as asked of you. You are willing, but your flesh is weak. Are you ready for Golgotha? No, you’re not. But you’ll go anyway. Great leaders have taught that showing up is 90% of success, there is some truth to this. Show up and be willing, no matter how daunting. Family creation is both heaven and hell. Like the song of Reaching the Impossible Dream, you must be willing to march through hell for a heavenly cause. It will rake your soul, figuring out at one ment with your spouse and children, but it’s the path to salvation.
-Some call marriage the atonement of men, and this is very true in many ways. However, there
is a critical aspect of marriage which many neglect which is a fundamental part of that
atonement. We refer here to childbearing. Social studies show that married adults are better
off economically, and in every other way. It makes sense to marry when you’re doing pleasure
calculations. Its child bearing when things get more difficult. Child bearing is also where
the greatest heights of pleasure are found, but the pleasure of child rearing is a pearl of
great price hidden in a field, largely unknown and unappreciated by the world, though not
unknown and underappreciated in the Lord’s church.
-For an article suggesting a scenario where even earlier family creation is fathomable, see my article “Early Marriage and Parenthood Theory”
-For an article suggesting that childbearing exponentially increases the service you give to the world and expedites one’s exaltation, see “Exponential Exaltation Theory”